Joel refuses to look at him at first, and it might be comical if Spencer weren't so desperate to get his husband believing that he is who he says he is--that is, himself. There's nothing he can really say that can really dull the shock right now, he's quite sure of that, and frankly, Spencer feels like he's far beyond that point now. He's so stunned by the change of his body that he's reached a strange level of calm, one that he's sure won't last long but is at least thankful for because if there were two Waters-Bakers losing their minds right now, Spencer doesn't think anything would be resolved.
Granted, there may be no resolution. The possibilities are already racing through his mind, questions of whether this is permanent and if it isn't, how long will it last? He wants to knock on Raleigh's bedroom door and ask if she's experiencing the same thing, wonders if she'd open it and Spencer would be faced with a man's body but then there's the fear that this isn't happening to anyone else at all and it leaves Spencer feeling very, very alone. He doesn't want this, doesn't know why it's happening to him, all he'd wanted when he woke up this morning was to be able to rest in bed with his husband.
His husband, who doesn't recognize him because in every way but the one that can't be seen, Spencer isn't Spencer. He nearly turns away, eyes welling with tears of frustration, but then Joel stops. He stops, and he stares, and Spencer feels a spark of hope in his chest because he's sure that Joel can see it now, that column of energy that will always connect them wherever they go. He wishes he could see it himself. Joel has described it to him before, the colors interwining and forming that unbreakable bond, but right now, he thinks it would be a great comfort. It isn't until he hears his name on Joel's lip that Spencer feels the tension drain from his shoulders, and he nearly collapses back down on the bed so he has to lay his palms out flat to catch himself, the sheet falling back to the mattress and leaving his new body bared again. Spencer feels like he should still care about that, about being exposed like this, but he can't find the energy. He shuts his eyes the way Joel had, taking in a deep breath and holding it for a few seconds before letting out a sharp exhale and opening his eyes again because maybe this really is just a dream, maybe when he opens his eyes again, he'll wake up in Joel's arms and in a body that belongs to him.
It doesn't work, of course, and he looks up at Joel with wet eyes that speak to the helplessness he feels right now. He wants his husband to hold him, to tell him everything's going to be fine and they'll find a reversal to whatever this is, but his hand drops to his thigh before he can manage to really reach out for Joel, and Spencer lets out a shuddering whimper. A glance down shows him how loose his wedding ring his around his finger, and it's all just too much to handle.
"Oh, god," he groans, scrubbing his hands over his face as he lets himself fall onto his back, head hitting his pillow. "What do I do? Joel, what am I supposed to do?"
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Date: 2015-01-15 01:35 am (UTC)Granted, there may be no resolution. The possibilities are already racing through his mind, questions of whether this is permanent and if it isn't, how long will it last? He wants to knock on Raleigh's bedroom door and ask if she's experiencing the same thing, wonders if she'd open it and Spencer would be faced with a man's body but then there's the fear that this isn't happening to anyone else at all and it leaves Spencer feeling very, very alone. He doesn't want this, doesn't know why it's happening to him, all he'd wanted when he woke up this morning was to be able to rest in bed with his husband.
His husband, who doesn't recognize him because in every way but the one that can't be seen, Spencer isn't Spencer. He nearly turns away, eyes welling with tears of frustration, but then Joel stops. He stops, and he stares, and Spencer feels a spark of hope in his chest because he's sure that Joel can see it now, that column of energy that will always connect them wherever they go. He wishes he could see it himself. Joel has described it to him before, the colors interwining and forming that unbreakable bond, but right now, he thinks it would be a great comfort. It isn't until he hears his name on Joel's lip that Spencer feels the tension drain from his shoulders, and he nearly collapses back down on the bed so he has to lay his palms out flat to catch himself, the sheet falling back to the mattress and leaving his new body bared again. Spencer feels like he should still care about that, about being exposed like this, but he can't find the energy. He shuts his eyes the way Joel had, taking in a deep breath and holding it for a few seconds before letting out a sharp exhale and opening his eyes again because maybe this really is just a dream, maybe when he opens his eyes again, he'll wake up in Joel's arms and in a body that belongs to him.
It doesn't work, of course, and he looks up at Joel with wet eyes that speak to the helplessness he feels right now. He wants his husband to hold him, to tell him everything's going to be fine and they'll find a reversal to whatever this is, but his hand drops to his thigh before he can manage to really reach out for Joel, and Spencer lets out a shuddering whimper. A glance down shows him how loose his wedding ring his around his finger, and it's all just too much to handle.
"Oh, god," he groans, scrubbing his hands over his face as he lets himself fall onto his back, head hitting his pillow. "What do I do? Joel, what am I supposed to do?"