Spencer only nods at the question, lips slightly parted at the feel of his husband's hand against him, and he shivers at how much more sensitive his skin seems to be now, though he can't deny that he's just as reactive to how close Joel his to him. There's a different sort of rush that goes through him, one that would normally be speeding straight for his cock, but as he's remembering right now, he doesn't have a cock anymore. It's distressing, really, it's not as if this is something he'd ever thought he'd have to prepare for, and his brow furrows as he inches closer to Joel with a worried frown. "What if I stay like this forever?" he asks, glancing down at the breasts that he flushes at seeing because it still feels like he's looking at someone else rather than his own body. He doesn't even know where to begin when it comes to dealing with is, whether he's supposed to embrace this for as long as it lasts or if he should hide himself away from his husband and the rest of the world because there's clearly something very wrong with him.
He pauses when he hears it--and he hears it more than once--flash through Joel's mind, a command to himself not to look at Spencer's breasts, and all of this is so absurd that he huffs a laugh. It's humorless and it isn't, mostly just incredulous because he's not sure that this is ever going to make much sense but the one thing he does know is that he doesn't want his husband to go anywhere.
"You can look," Spencer teases, moving his hand up through the hair on Joel's chest until it's resting on his shoulder. "You can always look at me, all of me, no matter what I-- God, no matter what I look like, I suppose." He doesn't want this to be forever. Joel had marreid him, yes, but he hadn't married him like this, and Spencer hardly thinks Joel loves him purely for aesthetics' sake but at the same time, he doesn't know what it's going to mean if there's no going back. Joel will be here to support him through every second, Spencer is sure of it, but there's that needling voice of doubt at the back of his mind that tells him that this could very well cause some problems.
It's in his best interest then, he supposes, to take the right steps to make sure it doesn't. "Look at me, baby," he murmurs, pushing himself further up the mattress so he's leaning against the pillows, searching Joel's eyes with his own and finding a sense of relief at the small smile curving his husband's lips. "Look at me. Don't stop touching me. Just-- I don't want you to stop touching me." He swallows hard, biting down on the inside of his cheeks as his cheeks grow redder, and it's like being naked with Joel for the first time all over again. Technically, he supposes, it is the first time. He's unsure of himself, unsure of what he ought to do, and he offers a shy, tight smile. "Will you kiss me?"
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Date: 2015-01-17 01:46 am (UTC)He pauses when he hears it--and he hears it more than once--flash through Joel's mind, a command to himself not to look at Spencer's breasts, and all of this is so absurd that he huffs a laugh. It's humorless and it isn't, mostly just incredulous because he's not sure that this is ever going to make much sense but the one thing he does know is that he doesn't want his husband to go anywhere.
"You can look," Spencer teases, moving his hand up through the hair on Joel's chest until it's resting on his shoulder. "You can always look at me, all of me, no matter what I-- God, no matter what I look like, I suppose." He doesn't want this to be forever. Joel had marreid him, yes, but he hadn't married him like this, and Spencer hardly thinks Joel loves him purely for aesthetics' sake but at the same time, he doesn't know what it's going to mean if there's no going back. Joel will be here to support him through every second, Spencer is sure of it, but there's that needling voice of doubt at the back of his mind that tells him that this could very well cause some problems.
It's in his best interest then, he supposes, to take the right steps to make sure it doesn't. "Look at me, baby," he murmurs, pushing himself further up the mattress so he's leaning against the pillows, searching Joel's eyes with his own and finding a sense of relief at the small smile curving his husband's lips. "Look at me. Don't stop touching me. Just-- I don't want you to stop touching me." He swallows hard, biting down on the inside of his cheeks as his cheeks grow redder, and it's like being naked with Joel for the first time all over again. Technically, he supposes, it is the first time. He's unsure of himself, unsure of what he ought to do, and he offers a shy, tight smile. "Will you kiss me?"