Spencer tells him he can look, then asks him to, and at first Joel still can't. His gaze drifts from Spencer's face down to his shoulder before it flits away and he knows how absurd it is, especially when it's undeniably Spencer in the bed with him and he's being given permission to look. It's not that he doesn't want to or that he finds the body unattractive by any means, it's the fact that, given what little he's seen, he does find Spencer's new -- and hopefully temporary -- body attractive that makes him uncomfortable. It's confusing and it makes his head hurt because the only person he's supposed to be attracted to like this is his husband. And while he knows this is still his husband in bed with him, it's still difficult to reconcile and he scrubs one hand over his face, trying to wash away the guilt.
But he's a witch. And it's clearly the potion that's done this to Spencer, it has to be. This can all be dealt with. He hasn't been trying very hard so far, not because he doesn't want to help Spencer, but because they've both been busy and it had seemed like reading minds was a nuisance, but not something that needed immediate attention. He's been doing research, he's been looking for ways to reverse the effects of the potion, but he'd mostly come to the conclusion that it would run its course eventually. That there was really nothing he could do to change it. Perhaps this will be the same. If nothing else, maybe it can wait a few hours until they get out of bed. Maybe the more Joel pulls away right now for fear of upsetting Spencer is going to be the thing that does upset him and so he meets Spencer's gaze again, then looks down, letting his eyes rake over his body.
He's gorgeous like this. He's gorgeous at all times, so that doesn't really surprise Joel, but while he's perfectly happy to spend the rest of his life never seeing or touching another woman again, he's always been equally as attracted to them as he is men. And he's never been more attracted to someone than he is Spencer. It's still confusing, still very conflicting in his head, but Spencer asks Joel to kiss him and he can't say no. He'll never be able to say no to his husband, he'll never be able to deny him anything and so he chews his lower lip for a moment as he shifts closer in the bed. His hand is still in Spencer's hair and he tugs gently, pulling them toward each other, his movements slow and cautious. Giving Spencer time to tell him not to if he changes his mind.
But no warning comes and his lips brush Spencer's slowly at first. It's a strange sensation, at once familiar and unfamiliar. His lips have always been full, but there's a softness to them now that Joel isn't used to, something pliable that it takes him a moment to adjust to. He feels, just for a second, like he can't kiss Spencer quite as hard as he might normally and so he takes care to be gentle, his fingers stroking lightly against his scalp. He feels guilty, too, for the tremor of pleasure that goes through him just at the kiss. It's all so hard to make sense of, the guilt he feels, like he's doing something terribly wrong, but the desire to do it at the same time because Spencer asked him to. Joel has always known he would do anything for Spencer, but now he knows how far that really goes.
And it's not that he isn't enjoying it. He is and that triggers a wave of guilt as well. He's enjoying kissing this other mouth and he doesn't want Spencer to read that and to think, even for a single second, that Joel might prefer him this way.
no subject
But he's a witch. And it's clearly the potion that's done this to Spencer, it has to be. This can all be dealt with. He hasn't been trying very hard so far, not because he doesn't want to help Spencer, but because they've both been busy and it had seemed like reading minds was a nuisance, but not something that needed immediate attention. He's been doing research, he's been looking for ways to reverse the effects of the potion, but he'd mostly come to the conclusion that it would run its course eventually. That there was really nothing he could do to change it. Perhaps this will be the same. If nothing else, maybe it can wait a few hours until they get out of bed. Maybe the more Joel pulls away right now for fear of upsetting Spencer is going to be the thing that does upset him and so he meets Spencer's gaze again, then looks down, letting his eyes rake over his body.
He's gorgeous like this. He's gorgeous at all times, so that doesn't really surprise Joel, but while he's perfectly happy to spend the rest of his life never seeing or touching another woman again, he's always been equally as attracted to them as he is men. And he's never been more attracted to someone than he is Spencer. It's still confusing, still very conflicting in his head, but Spencer asks Joel to kiss him and he can't say no. He'll never be able to say no to his husband, he'll never be able to deny him anything and so he chews his lower lip for a moment as he shifts closer in the bed. His hand is still in Spencer's hair and he tugs gently, pulling them toward each other, his movements slow and cautious. Giving Spencer time to tell him not to if he changes his mind.
But no warning comes and his lips brush Spencer's slowly at first. It's a strange sensation, at once familiar and unfamiliar. His lips have always been full, but there's a softness to them now that Joel isn't used to, something pliable that it takes him a moment to adjust to. He feels, just for a second, like he can't kiss Spencer quite as hard as he might normally and so he takes care to be gentle, his fingers stroking lightly against his scalp. He feels guilty, too, for the tremor of pleasure that goes through him just at the kiss. It's all so hard to make sense of, the guilt he feels, like he's doing something terribly wrong, but the desire to do it at the same time because Spencer asked him to. Joel has always known he would do anything for Spencer, but now he knows how far that really goes.
And it's not that he isn't enjoying it. He is and that triggers a wave of guilt as well. He's enjoying kissing this other mouth and he doesn't want Spencer to read that and to think, even for a single second, that Joel might prefer him this way.