Joel draws in a shuddering, surprised breath when Spencer takes his hand and guides it down his body. The last time he had touched a woman, it hadn't been a good experience at all, but he isn't surprised to discover Spencer can change that with just a touch. His hand slides down further, over the soft, smooth curve of his hip and when Spencer leaves his hand on his thigh, Joel squeezes gently, experimentally, and a shuddering breath escapes against Spencer's mouth. It's strangely overwhelming, touching him like this, because the more time that passes, the more at ease he feels and yet it's still unfamiliar and strange, like touching him for the first time all over again. He isn't sure what he's allowed to do, what he's supposed to do, but he feels a little better, knowing Spencer can read his mind right now, knowing he's privy to all the anxieties Joel is feeling over this, all the worry that he's holding onto because he never wants to make Spencer feel like he doesn't love him exactly as he is. Knowing Spencer can read that relaxes him a little and when Spencer asks if it's too strange, he laughs softly, more of a breath than anything.
"It is strange," he says, but then he lifts his hand to Spencer's face again and tilts it up so he can meet his gaze. And that's where he can see Spencer more clearly than anywhere else, right there in his eyes and he smiles softly, just holding his gaze for a moment, looking at him, letting him know he's okay. No matter how strange it is, he's okay. In fact, he's more than okay, which he's sure Spencer can feel if he shifts just a little bit closer, because while it's been a long time since he's touched a woman's body, it doesn't take much effort for Spencer to turn him on and he can already feel little ripples of pleasure coursing down his spine, going straight to his cock. He's not hard, not entirely, but it isn't going to take much more of just lying here with Spencer to get him there. And right now he thinks just lying here isn't going to be enough. Whether or not it's strange is irrelevant because he wants to reassure Spencer. He wants him to know, no matter what, they will always be okay.
"But it's not too strange," he murmurs. "I can see you. We'll always be okay." He ducks his head again to kiss Spencer, harder this time, a little more insistent and even though the mouth is different, the lips a little softer, it's still familiar. This is still how Spencer kisses him, this is still his husband and if things change enough, if he has to spend the rest of his life with Spencer in this body, it won't matter. Nothing is going to change how much he loves his husband. There will be days when he misses Spencer's body as he's grown used to it, but he will adjust. He'll never stop loving Spencer over something like this.
His hand slides down from Spencer's jaw, over the side of his neck and then further, across the smooth curve of his shoulder and then down. He hesitates, but only for a second before he cups Spencer's breast in his hand, an unfamiliar heavy weight, but no matter how unfamiliar it is, Spencer's skin is warm and it makes Joel shiver. He sweeps his thumb curiously over Spencer's nipple, delighting in the way it hardens under such a simple touch and while his experience is limited, he knows enough to understand how different this body is from the one he's used to. How much he'll have to learn, even if it's only for a day. This is how to make it clear to Spencer that they'll be okay, though, no matter what. He can put aside his own conflicting feelings if it means reassuring Spencer that nothing will ever change how he feels, no even this.
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Date: 2015-01-18 05:13 pm (UTC)"It is strange," he says, but then he lifts his hand to Spencer's face again and tilts it up so he can meet his gaze. And that's where he can see Spencer more clearly than anywhere else, right there in his eyes and he smiles softly, just holding his gaze for a moment, looking at him, letting him know he's okay. No matter how strange it is, he's okay. In fact, he's more than okay, which he's sure Spencer can feel if he shifts just a little bit closer, because while it's been a long time since he's touched a woman's body, it doesn't take much effort for Spencer to turn him on and he can already feel little ripples of pleasure coursing down his spine, going straight to his cock. He's not hard, not entirely, but it isn't going to take much more of just lying here with Spencer to get him there. And right now he thinks just lying here isn't going to be enough. Whether or not it's strange is irrelevant because he wants to reassure Spencer. He wants him to know, no matter what, they will always be okay.
"But it's not too strange," he murmurs. "I can see you. We'll always be okay." He ducks his head again to kiss Spencer, harder this time, a little more insistent and even though the mouth is different, the lips a little softer, it's still familiar. This is still how Spencer kisses him, this is still his husband and if things change enough, if he has to spend the rest of his life with Spencer in this body, it won't matter. Nothing is going to change how much he loves his husband. There will be days when he misses Spencer's body as he's grown used to it, but he will adjust. He'll never stop loving Spencer over something like this.
His hand slides down from Spencer's jaw, over the side of his neck and then further, across the smooth curve of his shoulder and then down. He hesitates, but only for a second before he cups Spencer's breast in his hand, an unfamiliar heavy weight, but no matter how unfamiliar it is, Spencer's skin is warm and it makes Joel shiver. He sweeps his thumb curiously over Spencer's nipple, delighting in the way it hardens under such a simple touch and while his experience is limited, he knows enough to understand how different this body is from the one he's used to. How much he'll have to learn, even if it's only for a day. This is how to make it clear to Spencer that they'll be okay, though, no matter what. He can put aside his own conflicting feelings if it means reassuring Spencer that nothing will ever change how he feels, no even this.