It feels like everything is shaking. Every last muscle in his body is trembling and Joel doesn't know how he has any sort of control over himself anymore. It feels like a first time all over again, something they can have together, something no one else will ever get to experience and he feels a strangled sob rising in his throat as he realizes exactly what he's doing. It isn't the first time he's been inside Spencer and it won't be the last -- it might not even be the last like this -- but because it's something so new, it's meaningful, too. It's always meaningful when they're intimate, but Joel knows there are times when they're in a hurry, when they only have a little bit of time together and they want to make something of it. There are times when he pushes Spencer against their closed bedroom door and sinks down to his knees so he can take him into his mouth and get him off quickly and relatively quietly. They don't do it often when they don't have the extra time to spend, but now and then it's fun, although they usually end up laughing, breathless and satisfied. Joel loves those moments as much as he loves anything else between them. They're still important, they speak to the level of comfort they've found with one another and he knows that's not the sort of thing that everyone will have in their life. He knows it's special.
But this. He isn't even sure where to begin. Spencer's legs spread and he's touching himself and slowly, ever so slowly, Joel sinks into him. He's trying so hard to be careful, to take his time, to really care for his husband and show him that he'll always be here no matter what, he'll always take care of him, and he groans softly as he settles into Spencer and then just stays there. He can feel the muscles inside of Spencer tightening around him and he groans again, ducking his head, having to close his eyes just so he isn't overwhelmed. Later, when he'll have time to think about it, he'll wonder if he finds Spencer so incredibly beautiful like this just because he's Spencer or if a woman walking down the street with this face and body would have the same effect on him. It's a combination of both, he thinks, he'd think a woman who looked like this was quite beautiful, but he wants Spencer this badly because he's Spencer, because he's still very much the man Joel has fallen in love with.
Sinking into the kiss, he keeps his eyes closed, one arm braced beside Spencer, holding himself up just enough so that he isn't putting all his weight on Spencer's body. It normally isn't something he worries about very much, because although Spencer is thinner than he is, he's much stronger than people realize and while Joel is usually gentle with him, he never treats him like he might be breakable. And he's trying not to now, he knows such a thing isn't exactly a turn on and he doesn't want Spencer to feel like he's being treated any differently, but he has to. He has to be careful. He's so much bigger than Spencer is now and he wouldn't have even realized it before, but now, in this moment, pressed inside him, hovering over him, he's very aware of the size difference between the two of them.
"It is," he murmurs in agreement and it's arrogant maybe, but he believes it. They're perfect for each other. They aren't perfect people, there's no such thing, but they're perfect for each other. Whatever bumps in the road may come, he knows they'll weather them together. There's nothing in this world that could make him give up the best thing that's ever happened to him and he hopes Spencer knows that. He laughs softly, a huff of air, realizing of course Spencer knows it, because he can hear every single thought that drifts through Joel's mind. None of what he thinks is a secret, not right now, but he's comfortable with that. Spencer is the only person in the world Joel would be comfortable letting that deep inside of him.
Carefully, his lips brushing Spencer's cheek and then the edge of his jaw, he rolls his hips. He pulls back a little, then thrusts into him, getting it shallow and slow, making sure not to move too quickly or with too much force. Maybe the time will come that he can or maybe Spencer will go back to his regular body so soon that they'll never have the chance, but for now, his thrusts are careful, slow and controlled. For now.
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But this. He isn't even sure where to begin. Spencer's legs spread and he's touching himself and slowly, ever so slowly, Joel sinks into him. He's trying so hard to be careful, to take his time, to really care for his husband and show him that he'll always be here no matter what, he'll always take care of him, and he groans softly as he settles into Spencer and then just stays there. He can feel the muscles inside of Spencer tightening around him and he groans again, ducking his head, having to close his eyes just so he isn't overwhelmed. Later, when he'll have time to think about it, he'll wonder if he finds Spencer so incredibly beautiful like this just because he's Spencer or if a woman walking down the street with this face and body would have the same effect on him. It's a combination of both, he thinks, he'd think a woman who looked like this was quite beautiful, but he wants Spencer this badly because he's Spencer, because he's still very much the man Joel has fallen in love with.
Sinking into the kiss, he keeps his eyes closed, one arm braced beside Spencer, holding himself up just enough so that he isn't putting all his weight on Spencer's body. It normally isn't something he worries about very much, because although Spencer is thinner than he is, he's much stronger than people realize and while Joel is usually gentle with him, he never treats him like he might be breakable. And he's trying not to now, he knows such a thing isn't exactly a turn on and he doesn't want Spencer to feel like he's being treated any differently, but he has to. He has to be careful. He's so much bigger than Spencer is now and he wouldn't have even realized it before, but now, in this moment, pressed inside him, hovering over him, he's very aware of the size difference between the two of them.
"It is," he murmurs in agreement and it's arrogant maybe, but he believes it. They're perfect for each other. They aren't perfect people, there's no such thing, but they're perfect for each other. Whatever bumps in the road may come, he knows they'll weather them together. There's nothing in this world that could make him give up the best thing that's ever happened to him and he hopes Spencer knows that. He laughs softly, a huff of air, realizing of course Spencer knows it, because he can hear every single thought that drifts through Joel's mind. None of what he thinks is a secret, not right now, but he's comfortable with that. Spencer is the only person in the world Joel would be comfortable letting that deep inside of him.
Carefully, his lips brushing Spencer's cheek and then the edge of his jaw, he rolls his hips. He pulls back a little, then thrusts into him, getting it shallow and slow, making sure not to move too quickly or with too much force. Maybe the time will come that he can or maybe Spencer will go back to his regular body so soon that they'll never have the chance, but for now, his thrusts are careful, slow and controlled. For now.