doublethepain | they don't burn up in the sky but they can dazzle or delight (OPEN)

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they don't burn up in the sky but they can dazzle or delight (OPEN)

It takes a couple hours before he realizes that he probably shouldn't have volunteered for inventory duty at the library the same morning he'd gotten the splints off his fingers. It still feels strange, having his left hand finally free and clear, and he's been carefully flexing his hand since he'd left the hospital with regular exercises he's supposed to strengthen it again. There's still an ache in the three fingers that had been broken, or at least he thinks there is; but every time his boss notices the faraway look on his face when he should really be notating any books in poor condition.

"I'm fine, John," he says, arching an eyebrow though there's a smile that plays at the corners of his lips. "For the eighteenth time."

"It's a holiday, you should be with your boyfriend," John grumbles, and Spencer rolls his eyes because that's rich coming from a man with a wife and daughter.

He feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket and knows who it is before looking, though his smile only widens when he sees that it is, indeed, Joel. "I'm going to take a break," he announces, clapping John on the back--a gesture reserved for the only man who's ever come close to being a father figure to him--as he starts backwards toward the break room while furiously tapping at his phone to write his reply. He's distracted once he reaches the kitchen, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing a bowl of ramen as he wanders over to the microwave. He sets his phone down, smiling to himself as he just stands there for a moment, thinking about how good things are in his love life right now. It's unlike anything he's ever experienced and he puts the ramen bowl into he microwave without thinking, setting the time for three minutes from now and looking back down at his phone as the screen brightens with a new text. John calls for him then from the shelves and he shouts that he's on his way, snatching his phone from the counter and leaving the microwave running as he heads back out to meet his boss.

Half a minute later, he's got an armful of books but when they hear it, a pop from the break room followed by a quick booming noise, it makes the pair exchange a startled glance before they both drop the books in their arms and run to see what had happened. There's smoke billowing from the microwave and a fire is lit up inside, and Spencer's jaw drops as it clicks immediately. He hadn't even broken the seal on the ramen bowl, hadn't filled it with water or anything, he'd just let it... "Ohhhh, no," he groans, rubbing at his temple and to put salt in the wound, the world deems it necessary for the smoke to trigger the fire alarm.

It's not even a surprise when the sprinklers go off but at least it's centralized to the break room. He and John stand there for a moment, already soaked by the sprinklers, but when the sirens sound from outside, John drops his head and sighs. "Well, kid," he starts, and Spencer is relieved to see that when John looks back up, there's an amused smile on his face, "I guess we weren't going to be able to get through the Fourth of July without a few fireworks."

The paramedics and firefighters seem almost disappointed when Spencer explains what had happened, but they've attracted a crowd. It's a slow emergency day for the town, Spencer suspects, as awful as that may sound. He wanders away from the ambulance, hands shoved in his pockets as he observes the chatter of the gawking spectators around them and shakes his head.

"Surely there's something better that everyone could be doing."

[OOC: tl;dr Spencer accidentally blew up the library's break room and now there's a crowd, an ambulance, and a fire truck outside the building. Feel free to stop by and tell him he's an idiot. A very cute idiot.]

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John as been accommodating of Spencer from the start, seeing something in him that Spencer's never been able to suss out, only that it had been more than the fact that he'd been Vera Waters' son. After his mother and brother had died, John had been the one to bail him out of jail before Levi had ultimately cleared his name. John had been the one to bring him into a hug when Spencer had been unable to hold back his tears after the funeral had ended; and he'd also known Spencer well enough to know that he would never need to bring it up again. He'd had expected nothing less than John's gruffly affectionate declaration that as long as Joel didn't steal Spencer away as an employee, he'd be happy for them both, and Spencer smiles to himself as he spares one last glance over his shoulder at his boss, at the closest thing to family Spencer's had in the last couple years, before setting his full attention back on Joel.

His eyes brighten at the mention of the shepherd's pie and he can't hide the pleased look on his face at the fact that Joel's cooked for him. He's rubbish at fitting in good meals on his own, he's never been a talent in the kitchen like his mother had been. Even Dane had been able to pull off some great dishes here and there but every time Spencer had given it a shot, the family had just ended up ordering pizza instead. He doesn't have a problem with that, he can accept that he's not a genius in the kitchen, and there's something about having a boyfriend who is that's awfully appealing.

He flushes out of pleased pleasure that Joel has brought up another chair to the fire escape, and he curls his fingers over Joel's hip and gives a quick squeeze before happily kissing his boyfriend on the cheek. He feels a bit giddy at the thought of having someone to watch the fireworks with, someone to kiss under the fireworks for the first time in his life, and he hopes that Joel won't say anything if he notices the sudden skip in Spencer's step. "Dinner and a show," he says, keeping his tone even though his smile is broad. "Watching the fireworks from the fire escape with you sounds highly superior than dealing with the crowd. Besides, I think I like the idea of celebrating our first holiday together like that. Together, just you and me."

That is exactly what Joel had been thinking and he knows it's not a birthday or Christmas, but it's still been sort of a big deal in his head and he smiles, flushing faintly when Spencer says as much. His fire escape isn't exactly roomy, especially once he had put both chairs out there, and there isn't anything particularly special about it except that it's the place he's watched the fourth of July fireworks every single year since his arrival in Siren Cove. Twice with Charlotte, then eight years in a row alone. And the view is actually pretty spectacular, especially given that it's a rusted fire escape on the back of his bookstore. It's the one thing he knows he'll miss about his apartment should he and Spencer end up living together, because he can't imagine for even a second asking Spencer to come live with him, not when he has his family's home.

He flushes faintly, though he hasn't said any of this out loud. The idea of living with Spencer is one he's thought of a few times and he's not particularly surprised that he's thinking it, not when things have been going so well. Yet he thinks it might be too soon to be having such thoughts, that they'd only tried to have their first date a month ago, that he had only called Spencer his boyfriend for the first time two weeks ago, but it feels right at the same time. And he feels like he's probably not the only one thinking about their future like this.

"I picked up some beer, too," he says, taking Spencer's hand and beginning to lead him in the direction of the store. "I know it's not whiskey, but it felt more appropriate to the day." Those are really the only two things he drinks with what might be considered any sort of regularity, but even that is pushing it. He's never been one to drink to excess very often and even when he has alcohol in his apartment, he often forgets it's there until months later when one of the bottles clinks against something else in the fridge. It had once taken him nearly an entire year to drink six bottles of beer he'd had stored in his fridge. "And I do, too. I... I like the idea of it being just the two of us. It's..." But he's not sure what it is, exactly, only that he really does like it and he huffs out a laugh and shrugs his shoulders.

"It's been awhile since I've had a beer, that actually sounds incredibly refreshing," he says, licking his lips already in anticipation of the food and drink that he now knows are waiting for him at Joel's place. He's got a liquor cabinet full of different cordials and spirits, plus a rack of beer that's been sitting in his fridge for so long that he's sure it must be stale by now, but he's always just settled for the whiskey. The past couple years have consisted of many nights sitting in his library or curled up on the couch with a book and a glass of whatever brand he'd been in the mood for, and he knows a big part of that had been the need to escape from his mind for just a little while. Being alone in that house, with the scene of his mother's death just a few yards behind him, hadn't exactly been a comforting home experience; and it hadn't been until Joel started sleeping with him that he hadn't felt the need for a drink before bed.

He's distracted from his thoughts by what Joel says and a smile creeps across his face as he nods his agreement. "It's right," he finishes, certain that it's true because he doesn't feel especially inclined to go out to the boardwalk to be surrounded by nearly the entire town for the fireworks, and he doesn't think Joel does, either. He remembers how uncomfortable he'd been at the ball, how he and Joel had both still been so careful around each other, and it amuses him to think of how far they've come since then. There's no need to put on airs anymore, not when they've become so close in so many ways, and he's not afraid to admit that when it comes to choosing between being out with a crowd or being just with Joel, he'll choose the latter every time.

They pass a few familiar faces, mostly library patrons, on the way to the store and Spencer is relieved that they're all friendly, offering waves and hellos; it's a welcome change from the way Eli had spoken to them earlier. Not everyone in this town is all bad, he knows, even if sometimes it feels like nearly everyone here is still set firmly against him. He's found that he's slowly starting to be less on edge around strangers, though, and he thinks that's largely due to Joel. His boyfriend had treated him with kindness and respect from the beginning, had put himself on the line to protect Spencer from the debris of that exploding building, and it hasn't been forgotten. He couldn't possibly forget it and as they approach the store entrance, Spencer has to stop so he can turn to Joel, cupping the other man's face in his hands and searching his eyes for a moment before leaning in for a long, sweet kiss.

"Thank you," he murmurs as he pulls just slightly away, their lips still brushing as he says the words, and he knows it's rather out of the blue but an explanation is caught in his throat. "For everything you do for me, I-- Thank you."

"You haven't even tasted my shepherd's pie yet," Joel teases when Spencer thanks him, but he wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him close and pressing his face against the curve of Spencer's throat, because he knows exactly what Spencer is saying. So much of their time together is spent trying to figure out the right way to thank him in return, to find some way to make him really understand how amazing he is and how much Joel appreciates all the things Spencer does for him, but he's never sure if he accomplishes that or if just his words will be enough to really explain it. Somehow he doesn't think so. He's not sure there are words that are big enough to encompass everything he feels for Spencer and for someone who's had such an incredible love of books his whole life, that's just not acceptable. He'll find them one day, he'll keep looking until the right words are there and maybe even then they won't be enough.

He pulls back a little, digging his keys out of his pocket with one hand, the other lifting to brush a bit of Spencer's hair back from his forehead. He almost wants to say that he doesn't do anything special, but that isn't true. The things he does for Spencer aren't the sorts of things he does for just anyone. There are very few people in town who've benefited from his potions and Spencer is the only person who has learned that he's a witch so abruptly and so completely without thought. Telling Lara and Cosette had taken time, telling Raleigh had come after a long internal struggle, but revealing himself to Spencer had been on a whim and he's long since written it off, telling himself that he had to, that Spencer might have died otherwise, but he knows that isn't entirely true. He could have been more subtle, could have made it look like the debris had been deflected some other way or had simply slowed down enough that it wouldn't have been dangerous, but instead he chose to do the one thing that would make it obvious what he was. Because even from that moment, he thinks some part of him had known.

"For as long as you'll let me, I'll do everything," he says, pausing just before he unlocks the front door of the store. The smile he gives Spencer is small, perhaps a little nervous, and he doesn't want to think that there might one day come a day when Spencer no loner wants him around. It's not that he doubts Spencer, just that he's never entirely sure if he's doing any of this right, if he's being a good boyfriend, if he's properly expressing how much Spencer means to him. For the most part he thinks they're doing a fairly good job, but he never wants to stop trying. He never wants to take any of this for granted.

Flipping the switch that turns on the light in the stairwell, he reaches for Spencer's hand to tug him inside, then locks the door behind them before he presses Spencer against it gently. "You deserve it," he says, leaning in to kiss him. "You deserve every good thing I'm capable of."

The word is on the tip of his tongue, forever, and the only reason he manages to keep himself from saying it is because once they're inside the store, Joel's nudging him back against the door. He closes his eyes and relaxes into the kiss, though his mind is keeps turning that one word over again and again because yes, that's how long Spencer wants Joel to be in his life. The notion that he could possibly want anyone else after discovering that such a thing as what he and Joel have exists is laughable, and he just barely manage to suppress a titter as he invites Joel's tongue into his mouth. There's no going back now, not that he'd ever want to, because he can't think of anyone who doesn't pale in comparison to his boyfriend, his beautiful and kind and sensitive and smart and caring boyfriend who Spencer knows tries so hard to be good to him. Joel exceeds expectations in that regard, in every regard, and Spencer's biggest regret is that he hasn't yet been able to find the right words to explain to Joel just how much of an impact he's had on Spencer's life.

It doesn't necessarily need to be said, he thinks, it's a shared understanding that Spencer can find in the way Joel looks at him; but even so, he's not going to stop trying. He wants Joel to hear it from his own mouth, wants Joel to be certain about how deeply Spencer's feelings for him run. So forever is apt, he thinks, because that's exactly how long he wants to spend with Joel. Forever, always, the rest of his life, however he puts it, the answer is the same. He'll never find this again, and he's going to hold onto it for as long as Joel is happy to stick around.

Once Joel pulls back from the kiss, Spencer ducks his head to hide his pleased smile before taking in a long whiff of the amazing smells wafting from the apartment upstairs. He cocks his head at Joel, bouncing on his heels as he reaches out to take Joel's hand. "Every good thing including that shepherd's pie?" he asks playfully, and it isn't his intention to brush past what Joel has said. He isn't actively trying to ignore the sweet words that warm his chest and make his heart beat a little faster, but he thinks that if he gets started on how much he thinks Joel is the one who truly deserves all the good things Spencer isn't sure he's giving enough of, he won't be able to stop. There's too long a list of reasons why Joel means so much to him, and he'd happily name all of them if his boyfriend ever asked--though Spencer doesn't imagine that will ever be the case--but for right now, he settles for another kiss before pulling Joel along with him to the stairs.

Still, as he starts to climb the stairs, he feels the need to say something, anything to give Joel a hint of the things that have been running through his mind since they'd entered the store. "For the record," he says, smiling affectionately at Joel over his shoulder, "I'll never want to stop letting you."

"It includes all my cooking," Joel says with a laugh, letting himself be led up the stairs and he's been thinking lately that he should give Spencer a key to the store and to his apartment above. He only leaves the upstairs door locked when the store is open, just in case any customers decide to wander up there and he misses them, but he likes the idea of Spencer having a way to get in even if Joel isn't around. If he needs anything or just wants to be there when Joel gets home, he should be able to, he thinks, and he knows he has a spare set of keys somewhere upstairs, probably on the pegboard by the door where he leaves his car keys the majority of the time. He makes a note to look for them later, maybe just to slip them onto Spencer's keyring when he's not looking.

When Spencer speaks, though, his smile softens a little and although he hadn't doubted him, it still feels awfully good to hear, a warmth spreading through the centre of his chest. "Good," he says and he knows it's just a single word, it's not nearly enough of a response to give Spencer in return, but it's the only one he can think of because it truly is the best thing he's ever heard. "That sounds good."

Once they're inside, Joel sets his keys down, glancing at the others hanging by the door and sure enough there's the spare set. A key for the store, for his apartment and even one for the back room downstairs. He smiles faintly to himself, already planning on finding a way to get them onto Spencer's keyring without him noticing sometime tonight.

"Sit," he says, directing Spencer to the table as he walks toward his oven. The shepherd's pie is cooling on top, still hot enough that he won't need to warm it up again and he takes two plates out of the cupboard overheard, busying himself with preparing lunch for the both of them. It still feels strange sometimes, to be taking another person into consideration when he goes about his daily routine, but he likes how it feels. It's far less lonely.

He returns to the table a few minutes later with two plates and utensils, then gets a pitcher of iced tea from the fridge, filling a glass for each of them before he sinks into his chair. "I like this," he says without thinking. "Having you here. Cooking for you. I like it."

He heads toward the table as soon they enter the apartment and makes himself comfortable in one of the chairs as he watches Joel mill about the kitchen with his elbow on the table and chin propped up by his hand, an affectionate smile curving his lips. He loves the way being in the apartment makes him feel, so comfortable and cozy and lived in, though he thinks that last one has a lot to do with the fact that Joel has been the one doing the living and it's evident. He notes again the stark difference between the clutter of the store and even, to some extent, Joel's living space to the back room where the Joel keeps all of his more secret supplies and inventory. Granted, he feels content anywhere he goes as long he's with Joel but there's a sense of security here that just can't be fully present at his own house by virtue of the fact that it's where Mark had found him.

His eyes flicker around the room for a moment because he knows Mark has been here, too, had managed to sneak those threatening notes in somehow, but the difference is that Spencer hadn't had his head smashed in with a glass here. He's grateful that Joel has his back turned because there's a sudden sharp pain, what he's sure is just a phantom pain, that explodes in his head and he rubs at both his temples until Joel comes back to the table with two glasses of tea and takes a seat. The pain is gone by then, it had merely been a flash, and Spencer manages a genuinely pleased smile when Joel looks up at him.

"I like it, too," he replies, reaching out to grasp Joel's hand as he gestures to the spread between them. It's not even the right word, he doesn't just like it. He'd gone from being certain of his life as an ineligible bachelor to dating a man who is willing to go to such great lengths to make Spencer happy, to care for him and protect him and do all the sorts of things nobody's done for him since his mother and brother died.

"I like you," he continues, and he blushes because it's not as if that really needed to be said and he feels a bit silly having said it out loud now. "A lot, I-- There's a lot of-- I feel very, er, strongly..." He bites his lips, holding back the urge to roll his eyes at himself and reaching out for his glass so he can take a sip while he buys himself some time to think of something better to say. Nothing comes to mind, and he sets his glass done with a soft grunt of frustration. "Being here, with you, knowing that you actually want to do things like this for me... I like that a lot. I spent so much time alone at home before you came into my life, it's nice to be able to share in something like this."

The more Spencer speaks, the deeper the flush in Joel's cheeks get until he feels like his face is on fire, but he can't help the pleased smile either and sometimes it feels like there's so much going on now between his head and his heart that something has to give. Some part of him is just going to snap and he's going to blurt something out that he can't take back, but he's not sure that would be such a bad thing. Some days it feels like there are so many things he wants to say to Spencer and whenever he finds the words, he hesitates, and he's beginning to think maybe he shouldn't. Maybe he just needs to let that part of him break down, the filter, the wall he's been keeping up. Spencer's broken down most of it already, there's probably no harm in just letting the rest go.

"Me, too," he says and it's so simple, but it's the truth. Everything Spencer has said, he feels it, too. "I... no one would ever come up here. I know I've told you that before, but sometimes it's surprising how right it feels for you to be here. Like you should have been here all along. Like maybe it wouldn't have felt so empty, so much like... like a place I had to keep secure to protect myself." Like a prison, he realizes. He loves his store and his apartment, but he's spent so much time locked up inside of it that it's been a self-imposed prison in so many ways.

He smiles, sliding Spencer's plate over to him and he feels a little self-conscious, but at the same time it's liberating to have said so much. This gets bigger and bigger every day, it becomes more and more all-encompassing, and as much as the thought frightens him a little, he also finds he can't wait for the day when what he has to say to Spencer is bigger still. Already all of this is more than he's ever given to anyone else and he likes that, too. This is all for Spencer. It's never been for anyone else.

"And I like you," he says, but he thinks it might be more than that already. He's certainly never felt anything like this before, nothing nearly this strong, this good. "But you probably won't like my shepherd's pie if you let it get cold," he adds, squeezing Spencer's hand gently and he doesn't want to let go, but it's not as if he won't get to hold Spencer's hand again later.

Spencer tightens his hold on Joel's on for one last squeeze that's accompanied by a meaningful smile before he lets go, with some regret as always because he just simply feels better no matter what he's doing when he's holding Joel's hand, and eagerly pulls the plate of food closer. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes in the smell of the shepherd's pie, delighting in the fact that it's a Joel dish that had been made just for them to share. He doesn't want to take anything Joel does for granted because his boyfriend really does do so much that Spencer sometimes feels like there's no possible way he could make up for any of it.

"It means a lot to me," he says softly, and he wants to take Joel's hand again but he reaches for his fork instead because he's sure that if he threads their fingers together, he won't be able to find the strength to let go this time. "It means a lot that you-- that you'd let me in. Here, your life, all of it, and I don't-- That first time you came to my house, it was the first time I invited anyone inside in a long time and it was so easy, stepping aside to let you walk through my door. It just felt right. Everything about being with you feels right."

He's not even looking at Joel anymore and his grip on the fork is too tight as he aggressively digs into the meal before him. One bite is all it takes to make him sink into his chair, letting out a quiet and satisfied groan. "God, you really are the perfect man," he says, and it's not as if he hasn't told Joel that he's perfect before but a flush rises on his cheeks all the same. It would be embarrassing, how much Joel affects him, if he hadn't already been so obvious about it in their time together; and the way he catches Joel looking at him sometimes only serves to make reaffirm that there's no reason to worry or doubt, there's no reason to think that maybe he's feeling too much too fast because they'd been in similar positions when they'd started seeing each other. They're taking this step-by-step together, discovering new things about what it means to be in a relationship together, and Spencer hopes that never stops. He never wants to stop being surprised by the man beside him.

He takes another bite, grinning as he chews, and he thinks he must look so childish right now but he doesn't care. Joel makes him feel like all his concerns are being stripped away, and it isn't as if he'd written his own life off entirely; he'd simply accepted that he'd spend it alone, content in not having to worry about disappointments or arguments or anything that might result in losing another person he cares about. Having it now, knowing what it's like to care this deeply, he finally understands what he's been missing; and he has no idea what he'd do without Joel now.

Joel flushes faintly and squirms with pleasure, looking down at his plate before he takes a bite and yes, it's definitely good, he's always been a fairly good cook, but the fact that Spencer seems to be enjoying it so much makes him happier than he thought possible. It's just that doing anything for Spencer makes him happy. Any reason to make Spencer smile is a good one and any time he accomplishes the task, he feels especially pleased with himself in ways he'd never known he would ever feel. It's a strange thought for him, doing something specifically for someone else. He's never been a particularly generous person, he's never cared much for worrying about what other people think or going out of his way to make them happy, but this is so different. Everything with Spencer is different.

"It does feel right," he agrees and even when he'd been so nervous he thought he might throw up, even when the very thought of touching Spencer was enough to send a thrill through him, even when he considered rubbing the tip of his finger along the outer edge of Spencer's hand to be the most daring thing he was capable of, it had felt right. He's never been one to stray from his comfort zone, but even with sweating palms and a racing heart and a throat so dry he would swear it was made of sandpaper, even terrified and uncomfortable, it had felt right.

"And if all I have to do is cook to keep you this happy, that's easy," he teases a second later, pointing at Spencer with his fork. "I'm good at cooking. And if there's anything else you want kept on the table when it comes to pleasing you, just... let me know." He's secretly a little thrilled that he's managed to say something like that when he's usually so poor at coming up with anything flirtatious or suggestive. He wants to be able to flirt openly with Spencer, to tease him when they're in public together, especially when Spencer is so much better at it than he would have thought, but it's just not his strong point. When he gets it right, like he thinks he did just now, he can't help but be pleased and just a little proud of himself, which he's sure is evident in his expression that he's doing a poor job of hiding.

"On the table," he repeats, then laughs to himself, far too pleased by his own innuendo. "It's a good, sturdy table."

Spencer's got a forkful of shepherd's pie halfway to his mouth when Joel says it, and it takes all of his self-control not to let the fork fall straight to the table. He blinks before lifting his eyes to meet his boyfriend's gaze, one eyebrow arched and a slow smirk creeping across his face. "I hope that's true," he answers, leaning back in his chair as he carefully sets the fork down, "because I don't intend to let you say things like that without demanding follow-through."

He wets his lips, looking down at the table with some consideration as he imagines what it would be like to sweep all the dishes and glasses to the floor to make room for himself. He nearly lets out a strangled moan and really, if Joel had wanted to feed him, letting Spencer take just a couple bites before putting the image of having sex right where they're eating is no way to go about it. He shifts in his seat because the thoughts are awfully difficult to get push aside. He can see the muscles working in Joel's back and shoulders, can practically feel Joel pushing inside him, pounding him against the table while Spencer grips the edges tight enough to hurt just to keep from coming too soon.

He looks down and realizes that's exactly what he's doing with one hand right now, his knuckles white, and he rubs his other hand over his face before shaking his head and nudging Joel's foot with his own. "The perfect man but also a menace," he says, though his tone is teasing and affection, and the smile shows that he doesn't actually mind one bit. "How am I supposed to do anything if I'm just picturing you naked every time I look at a table?"

Given the amazing hold Spencer has over him, just how easy it is for him to say the right word or give the right look and reduce Joel to a complete mess, he's awfully pleased with himself right now and he shifts back and forth in his chair, looking down at his food as he takes another bite. Although he's attempting to look like he still has himself together, like he's the one in control now, the truth is that Joel rarely feels like he has any sort of control around Spencer. He knows he'd do anything for him, not only to keep him safe, but anything he asked for even in passing. Any favour, big or small, Joel would do it in a second, and he's pretending to be the one in charge right now, but having just mentioned the table is more than enough to distract him from everything else. The idea of taking Spencer on the table is extremely appealing, bending him over the edge, his arm wrapped around his waist, fingers digging into his hips, maybe one hand sliding up the centre of his back.

When Spencer nudges his foot, he grins and nudges back, rubbing his toes against the curve of Spencer's ankle. "You're going to picture me naked when you look at any table?" he asks before he pauses to take a sip of his drink, then nods thoughtfully. "I can see how that might become a problem." He's still flushed as he speaks, still not used to saying such things, but the more he says, the bolder he becomes. Spencer is responding favourably anyway, it's not as if he looks embarrassed or ashamed or clearly wants Joel to stop talking and the knowledge that he can maybe do to Spencer what Spencer does to him with just a look pleases him.

"I was thinking specifically this table," he says thoughtfully, smoothing one palm over it as his foot rubs against Spencer's again. "I had to build it up here. It would have been too heavy to get up the stairs otherwise." And it may not be the most ornate table in the world, but it's heavy and sturdy and is exactly what Joel wanted when he set out to build it, and although he had never expected to be thinking about having sex with his amazing boyfriend on top of it, it's certainly the right kind of table for it. "But if you're thinking about any table... well, there's the one downstairs in the store. There are a lot of tables in the library." His gaze flicks up and he grins. "Even a few in the quiet corners."

"I'll picture you naked more often than that," Spencer corrects, and he can see the blush on Joel's cheeks even when shielded by the beard, and it's somehow all the more appealing. The fact that Joel is trying--and very well succeeding, Spencer might add--is undeniably sexy, as is the thought that won't leave his mind now of having sex in all the places Joel is listing and he almost growls at the images that keep flashing by far too quickly. Down in the store, at the library, in the kitchen, in Spencer's living room, all of them are possibilities that he thinks should very much become realities sooner than later because Joel is being terribly wicked right now and Spencer isn't surprised to find that he loves it.

His voice cracks a bit when he attempts to speak but he doesn't care, he can't be bothered to be embarrassed about it when his boyfriend is saying things like this to him and Joel's foot is rubbing so gently against his own, and he stuffs another bite of shepherd's pie in his mouth before he tries again.

"Is this revenge for the popsicles?" he asks, the slightest hint of teasing in his tone. He can't talk, really. He's growing steadily aroused the more he hears Joel discussing sex and tables in the same sentence, and he really is getting closer to shoving everything off the table and letting Joel practice what he's preaching. He bites down on his lip and lets his eyes travel to where Joel has his palm laid out on the table and shakes his head with a heavy, dramatic sigh. "If it is revenge, I'd like to remind you that I followed through on my teasing."

He's being facetious, though he really wouldn't mind having Joel bend him over this particular table right now, and he reaches out to cover Joel's hand with his own. Whether or not they have sex tonight, whether or not it's on this table, it doesn't matter to Spencer because he knows they're always going to be another day. Joel isn't going anywhere, he's proven that time and time again, and Spencer's smile softens as he thinks about how angry Joel had been about Eli earlier. It seems like so long ago now, so far removed because of how playful they're being, but it means more than Spencer knows how to say that Joel is so willing to defend him. Nobody's done that for him since his own brother.

He wants to keep the mood light, especially when Joel looks so beautifully smug about the way Spencer's pants are obviously tighter than they had been just a minute ago, and he scoots his chair bit by bit until he's closer to Joel. "I have to admit, having your hands all over me while I'm laid out on something that was built by your hands sounds awfully appealing."

At the mention of the popsicles, Joel makes a soft, strangled noise in his throat, and he looks down at his food again, shaking his head abruptly, because there's no way he'd ever want to take any kind of revenge -- even teasing -- for that, because while he'd felt like he'd been drawn as tight as a bow that day, while he'd nearly crashed his car and been certain he was going to get a speeding ticket, he'd also had more fun that day than he'd even realized he was capable of. Spencer brings that out of him, an ability to laugh and to be light, to be playful and teasing. "I don't want revenge for the popsicles," he says slowly, still looking down at his plate, still struggling to keep his smile from growing too wide. "I want a demonstration."

His gaze flicks up finally and he turns his hand over under Spencer's, curling his fingers, rubbing them against Spencer's palm. "And I have every intention of following through. I always... I always keep my word." But Spencer's words cause a shiver to ripple down his spine and he's completely distracted from his food now, distracted by Spencer's voice, the things he's saying, the very idea of pressing him down on this table, one he built by himself. He feels like his eyes are glazed over, like he's moving through something profoundly heavier than air as he pushes his plate aside and pushes up from his chair, lifting his hand to cup Spencer's face.

He's already hard, already desperate, but he wants to take this slowly. He wants to make Spencer remember every single moment of this, like he always does, and he smiles before he ducks down to press a kiss to Spencer's mouth. The food is still on the table, their glasses of iced tea and there's a part of him that just wants to sweep them aside, let them shatter on the floor, but he's still aware enough to recognize that he'll regret that at the end of the day. Instead, when he breaks the kiss, he takes their plates, turning quickly to the counter behind him to set them aside before doing the same with the glasses. Then he rounds the table, tugging Spencer out of his chair and to his feet, setting his hands on his hips as he turns them, backing Spencer up against the table.

He kisses him gently at first, tugging Spencer's lower lip between his teeth with a soft noise in his throat, urging him to sit on the edge of the table with his hands and his hips. This hadn't been his intention when bringing Spencer back here, he'd assumed they'd eat lunch and spend the afternoon together, watch the fireworks and then maybe fall into bed together, but this is more than an acceptable alternative to that plan and Joel's breath hitches with need as his hands slide up from Spencer's hips, fingertips finding the warm skin of his back.

His knee jerks up at the words and he lets out a quick hiss of pain when it makes contact with the underside of the table but he only absently rubs at the spot that smarts as he lets himself process the words again. A demonstration, that's what Joel has said he wants, and Spencer will be more than happy to give it to him. He's about to say as much when he realizes he's not quite caught up on what's happening in the present, far too stuck on the idea of showing Joel what he can do, what he does when Joel's away at work and Spencer's alone at home, to notice that Joel has already cleared the table off and is pulling him to his feet.

He's completely at Joel's disposable, he's ready to do anything Joel tells him to do, and he never feels as free as he does when he's with his boyfriend, whether it's in bed or out of bed or on this table. He widens his legs, inviting Joel to come closer as he lets his eyes slip shut at the sensation of Joel's fingertips sliding up his back. This is ecstasy, as it always is, knowing that Joel wants to touch him like this; knowing that Joel wants him at all, really, because he's never felt like he's the sort of person who could be desirable. That Joel finds him worth the effort, worth the time and care that he's put into every moment they've spent together, is something that Spencer will never take for granted.

A part of him can't believe that this is actually happening, that Joel really is going to take him on this table, and it only serves to make his cock harden even more. His moan is muffled by Joel's lips on his and lets his hands roam over Joel's back and shoulders, kneading into his muscles as he tries to find a way to make Joel feel as good as he's making Spencer feels right now. The kiss is slow, gentle, and Spencer is aching with desperation but there's always something so wonderful about taking their time because it's a reminder that this isn't the last time. They're not limited to having sex once a night, Spencer has gleefully discovered that already, and even though he's fairly certain that not getting out of these pants sooner than later will only result in disaster, he takes a breath and relaxes into Joel's arms as he imagines Joel sinking slowly into him.

"God, you're incredible," he breathes, eyes still shut as he leans his head back, exposing his neck and letting his lips part. "I'm always wanting you, the way you make me feel, I-- You just know. You're perfect."

He never knows what to say to that and his cheeks flush with pleasure, because there's never been another person who would have thought of Joel has anything near perfect. He knows he isn't, he knows he's still prone to sour moods, that his temper leaves something to be desired, that he's secretive and moody with other people, but these are all things he's put on over the years, things he's worn as armor and he doesn't need to wear those shields with Spencer. As long as Spencer thinks he's doing alright, as long as he doesn't have any complaints, Joel is more than happy to continue on as he has, making sure he's always making Spencer happy. He has no intention of going out of his way to be awful to anyone, but he also knows it's being with Spencer that has made it easier for him to be better to the other people in his life.

When Spencer's head falls back, Joel lets out a soft, strangled moan, leaning back enough to just look at him, to watch the way the light hits him, the long line of his neck, and he only lasts a moment before he's crowding closer, between Spencer's legs, his lips traveling the length of his neck. Joel has never given much thought to the type of person he's been attracted to over the years, but he only knows he can't possibly seem to get enough of Spencer in any way. He can't stop touching him or staring at him or tracing the long, lean lines of his body with his hands. But beyond the physical, he knows their connection is something special. He knows, at the end of the day, were they not yet having sex he'd be just as content to be sitting in the chairs on his fire escape, listening to Spencer talk about anything. He's never been so interested in a person before, he's never felt like he's learned even a fraction of what he learns with Spencer. And while he's easily the most incredibly beautiful person he's seen, he's also the smartest, too, the most interesting by far and it sends a shiver up Joel's spine to just know everything they have goes so much deeper than just their ability to turn each other on.

Though he certainly has no complaints about that either. His hand slides up under Spencer's shirt, pushing the material out of the way as he nudges him gently back on the table and ducks his head, pressing kisses to his exposed skin. "You're amazing," he murmurs against the centre of Spencer's chest before he pushes his shirt higher, his teeth grazing against his nipple as one hand slips lower, searching for his belt. "You're so... you're just..." But as always, the words escape him, and he knows the only hope he has of explaining to Spencer just how special he is lies in making him feel as good as he makes Joel feel just by looking at him the right way.

He's gotten fairly good at undoing Spencer's belt in a relatively short period of him, he thinks, and he manages it now with very limited fumbling. Then he's undoing his pants, slipping his hand into his briefs without any preamble because he needs to feel the weight of Spencer's cock in his hand right now. A low moan rumbles in his throat when his fingers wrap around Spencer's length and his eyes close briefly as his lips still and all he can seem to manage is a soft breath against Spencer's skin.

He shakes his head when Joel says he's amazing, when Joel struggles to find more to say, and it's not because he wants to deny that his boyfriend thinks these things but Spencer understands. There's very little either of them could say to properly describe what this is, how powerful it is or how utterly satisfying it is to know that they're able to make each other feel like this. The connection they have surpasses anything Spencer has ever known, it's not something he could ever have hoped to learn just by reading a book, and he continues to be in awe of the fact that he's found someone who treats him so incredibly well every second of every day, someone who never causes him to doubt how much he cares, someone who actually wants to make him happy rather than take advantage of Spencer's desire to do the same.

At the feel of Joel's hand around him, Spencer lets out a trembling whimper as his entire body shudders from the contact. He's not in much of a position to do anything other than let Joel take over, which he's more than okay with because Joel knows all the right ways to make him squirm and moan and feel so good. He wants more, always wants more, and his hips arch up in desperation so that his cock is sliding up and down Joel's fist.

This isn't how he'd imagined the evening would go--though that's not exactly true, he had imagined that they'd end up naked in bed together at some point or another but he'd expected making it through a full meal and holding hands out on the fire escape while they watched the fireworks first. He's not disappointed that the original plan is being altered, he couldn't possibly be thanks to the way Joel's touching him, because they're going to have other Fourths, they're going to share other holidays that call for fireworks together, and he loves that he can think that way. He loves that he can see so vividly see Joel involved in every aspect of his future, though he's just a tad distracted by how incredible that alone is when Joel is twisting his hand in a way that makes Spencer yelp with surprised pleasure.

His hips buck again when Joel flicks his tongue against Spencer's other nipple and Spencer reaches his arms up so he can tug at his own hair, wondering not for the first time what it would be like to be completely restrained with Joel taking over. "Do you even know what you do to me?" he groans, his hands falling against the table and grasping for something but finding nothing. "God, I'd do anything to make you feel as good as this."

Given how completely helpless in Spencer's hands Joel usually feels, having some semblance of the upper hand right now makes him grin against Spencer's skin and he nips softly at his ribs as he kisses lower down his torso. For a moment his free hand seems to be torn, as if he's not in charge, and then he pushes Spencer's shirt up the rest of the way, murmuring, "Off," against his skin, because even though he's still fully dressed, all he wants right now is to see Spencer spread naked on this table and then he'll decide what he wants to do with him. He's painfully hard already inside his jeans, but there's something incredibly arousing about still being dressed while he withdraws his hand from Spencer's briefs and then drags them down along with his pants, leaving him completely undressed. As he tugs off the rest of Spencer's clothes, he has to crouch, tossing his pants aside before he rises again.

His hands slide back up Spencer's thighs, smoothing over his skin as he takes a moment just to look at him, to really look at him and he knows just how lucky he is, but he never wants to forget that or take it for granted either. Then, grinning, still fully dressed, he ducks his head to press a soft kiss against Spencer's hip, his eyes closed as he hums out a groan against his skin. It's a strange sensation, taking Spencer's cock in his hand, turning his head to lick a path from base to tip when he can still feel the sleeve of his cardigan caught against his palm, the fabric rubbing against the smooth, warm skin of Spencer's cock. "You do," he says softly, because he never wants Spencer to think he doesn't make Joel feel incredible all the time, every single day, even just by looking at him. Everything he does makes Joel feel amazing.

He pushes his sleeve back, but he can't be bothered to get undressed yet, not when all he wants is to taste Spencer, to take him into his mouth and with a soft groan he does exactly that, his lips parting, his tongue swiping against the underside of Spencer's cock. This isn't something he's experience with at all, the only man he's ever gone down on is Spencer and he sometimes wonders if he's doing it properly or if he's not as good at it as Spencer is, but it's hard to worry in the moment. His fist twists around the base of Spencer's erection as he takes him deeper, his cheeks hollowing, tongue lapping at the underside, his eyes closed because it's so overwhelming and if he opens his eyes and looks at Spencer right now, he won't be able to last much longer himself.

He shivers at the way Joel says it, off, his tone somehow simultaneously firm and gentle, and as he's tossing his shirt to the side and lower himself back down on the table, his boyfriend manages to tug his pants and briefs off. He feels incredibly vulnerable like this, completely naked with his legs spread open while Joel is still completely dressed, but he's not nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about when Joel always takes such amazing care with him, always making sure that Spencer feels comfortable and safe and at ease with everything that they're doing. Joel could do anything to him, though, and Spencer knows he'd let him because he trusts his boyfriend more than he's ever trusted anyone and for that to be true both in and out of the bedroom--rather, on or off the tabletop--matters such a great deal to him.

He watches with his neck raised off the table, his eyes shining with affection and delight at the way Joel's eyes rake over his body, but he forgets that the table isn't the same as a mattress when he feels Joel's tongue against his length and drops his head back down with a loud clunk. He yelps from the pain, reaching to rub at his head just as Joel is taking him into his mouth and his hips buck in confused but pleasured surprise as he's suddenly distracted entirely by the goose egg that's forming on the back of his head.

Joel looks so beautiful like this, with his fingers wrapped around Spencer's cock and his tongue and mouth working like this is the only thing that matters. Every sensation is somehow magnified--Joel's tongue lapping at him, Joel's sweater grazing his shift, everything--by the knowledge that Joel is entirely in control here, that Joel is the one who is going to decide how quickly they move and in what direction and how long it will take before he lets Spencer see him naked. He's dizzy with want and need and he can feel the familiar haze taking over as he blinks lazily and glassy-eyed at the ceiling as Joel takes him deeper into his mouth and makes him moan.

"Feels so good," he murmurs, trying not to arch his hips too much because he doesn't want to take this over, he wants to let Joel stay in charge because he's loved every second of it so far and doesn't want to lose that feeling of being even gently dominated by his boyfriend. "God, baby, you always know how to make me feel so good."

Joel almost laughs when Spencer yelps, because he's heard the thunk of his head against the wood and he knows he shouldn't laugh, he should check to make sure he's okay, but he already has Spencer's cock between his lips. He's already taking him deeper, his tongue pressed flat against the underside of him for a moment before he pulls back enough to experimentally flick his tongue against Spencer's length, knowing Spencer has done something similar to him, knowing it's felt absolutely amazing and that's really the only thing he wants. There's no pretending he's not equally as aroused, that being with Spencer doesn't make him feel incredible, that the connection between them isn't the best he's ever felt and the release he's experienced with Spencer has been far more satisfying than any he's ever had before. But his primary focus, especially right now, is making Spencer feel good.

He still has one hand wrapped around Spencer's cock to help him, because he's never done this, he's not sure how deep he can actually take Spencer into his mouth and although he tries, having his hand there helps. The other is gripping Spencer's hip hard and it takes Joel a second to be able to loosen his hold, to slide his fingers teasingly down the crease of Spencer's thigh, between his legs, and he's careful now, the lube still across the room, but as he laps at the head of Spencer's cock, he presses one finger against him, rubbing teasingly, not wanting to push inside him, but just remind him of what's yet to come.

Except Joel isn't sure that's such a good idea, not when he can feel his own erection straining against his jeans and he's so hard it hurts. He's nearing a point of desperation, nearing the point where he'll need to get undressed because as much fun as he's finding it to be at least a little bit in charge, Spencer still has all the power. All he has to do is twist on the table or murmur Joel's name or say something like that, tell him how good it feels, call him baby, and Joel knows he'd do anything Spencer asked of him in a second.

"Tell me what you want," he gasps, pulling back enough to say it, his breathing puffing over the head of Spencer's cock as he speaks. "Tell me exactly what you want, I'll do anything." All semblance of his dominance is gone the second he says it, but he doesn't care. Having Spencer know he's the one in control doesn't bother Joel at all, not when he's blinded by affection and desire and the need to please Spencer, knowing the pleasure he'll derive from it in return.

He nearly sobs at the question because it means his cock isn't in his boyfriend's mouth anymore. He's been writhing on the table at every touch, already having let out a strangled moan when Joel had teased a finger over his ass before so very cruelly pulling it back. Joel asks him what he wants, but Spencer can't even form coherent sentences right now much less find it in himself to be able to prop himself up on his elbows like he wants to and run down the extensive list of everything he would love for Joel to do to him.

"Y-you, everything, you." It's all he can muster and he running a hand through over his sweat-sheened forehead before dragging it through his hair, tugging it so it sticks up at odd angles before he finally looks down the length of his body to find Joel's eyes on him. His boyfriend's lips are pink and puffed and his cheeks are flushed, and Spencer can only imagine what he looks like himself. He does know, though, that the only way he's getting up from this table is if Joel picks him up himself to flip and bend Spencer over the edge.

He wets his lips with his tongue, his breaths shallow as he reaches down with one hand to stroke himself, eyes rolling to the back of his head just briefly before he's able to bring himself back and watches Joel's face as he continues to pump his length through his own fist. He tightens his hold on himself, if only in an effort to keep himself from coming, and spreads his legs wider, making sure he doesn't break Joel's gaze. Joel's lips are still close enough to brush against his cock and Spencer rolls his hips just to feel the contact, even though it's not enough friction and he needs more, always needs more when it comes to this man.

But Joel is waiting for a real answer, it seems, and he can't possibly know just how much Spencer wants him all the time, how much he turns Spencer on with just a look or the slighest of touches or with the words that comes out of his mouth. Spencer is putty in Joel's hands, pliable in any and every way, and to be asked now what he wants is practically impossible to answer but he takes a deep breath so that he can try.

"I-- I want you to turn me over," he says slowly, carefully, deliberately. He's already stuttered over his words but he tries not to waver again. "I want you to bend me over this table and take me like that. I want to feel every inch of you inside of me, I want you to be as gentle or as rough as you want, I just want you." He swallows hard, his heart racing in anticipation of what Joel will say even though there's no doubt in his mind that his boyfriend will agree without hesitation. Still, he narrows his eyes for a moment before speaking again. "Is that-- Would that be okay?"

It's so hard for him to retain any semblance of self control when Spencer touches himself, when he spreads his legs, and Joel groans softly at the sight, knowing he's never seen anything this incredible. He could just watch this, he realizes, he could be completely satisfied just watching Spencer touch himself, but not today. Another time, another day when he'd had time to prepare himself for not getting to touch him -- not at first, anyway -- but not now, not when Spencer looks so completely ruined already and not when he's asking Joel to turn him over on the table.

He stands again, running his hands over Spencer's thighs, and even though it's uncomfortable to do so, he stays dressed as he steps back, nodding his agreement absently. Spencer asks if it's okay and he knows he should answer, but he's so caught up in the idea of turning him over and taking him from behind that he's not sure he could speak if he tried, so he only nods, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Then he takes a few steps away from the table, walking backwards toward his bed and the bedside table, and he doesn't want to take his eyes off Spencer, but he has to eventually after pawing blindly for the drawer. Wrenching it open, he grabs the bottle of lube, then crosses his apartment again, grateful for the fact that it's really not all that big a space, because he's not sure he could stand to be away from Spencer for longer than a few seconds.

He sets the bottle down on the table, then leans down, wrapping his arms around Spencer, dragging him upright. Pressing close, Joel kisses him deeply, his teeth grazing Spencer's lower lip, the kiss possessive and slightly more aggressive than he usually lets himself be, using teeth and tongue, breathing hard into Spencer's mouth. "I'll do anything you want," he groans, kissing Spencer again, biting his lower lip, tugging it gently between his teeth before he abruptly lets go. His hands fall to Spencer's hips and he turns him, surprised all over again by how good this feels even with his clothes on.

Spencer's a little bit taller than he is, but not by a lot and it works, it works just fine as Joel's hands roam over his body. He presses up tight against his back, rubbing his hips against Spencer from behind, the outline of his cock hard through his jeans. It makes him think of the first time he'd brought Spencer into the room downstairs, the way he'd wrapped his arms around him from behind as he'd worked on the potion and even at the time he'd loved how that had felt.

With a soft moan, his tongue sweeps against the skin just behind Spencer's ear and Joel lets go of him with one hand, pulling back a little, reaching down and tugging the hem of his cardigan and t-shirt up at the same time. Then he presses back against him and as much as he'd liked the feeling of still being dressed while Spencer was completely naked, he loves the press of warm skin against his even more. A shuddering groan escapes as he grinds his hips forward, rubbing himself against Spencer's ass, enjoying the feeling of driving himself crazy more than he ever thought he would.

Finally feeling the warmth of Joel's bare chest against his back is nearly enough to tip him over the edge. He shifts so his body bends just slightly, not even to have to grip the table yet, grinding his ass harder against Joel erection, moaning at the feel of the jeans on his skin. His boyfriend is being a tease, even if he doesn't realize it and even if he's not doing it on purpose, but Spencer can't deny that he's finding it to be effective. To be turned over like this, denied a full view of his boyfriend half-naked, is torturous as it is and it will be the first time he won't be able to watch Joel enter his full length into his ass. It's all in the ancitipation right now and it sends a shiver down his spine as goosebumps rise on the back of his neck, on his side and thighs and anywhere else Joel is touching him.

He arches his back, looking over his shoulder because he needs to see Joel's face if nothing else, and eyes the bottle of lube that had been set on the table before moaning needily. They can take their time, whatever Joel wants to do is more than fine with him, but he supposes that doesn't mean he can't at least nudge them closer to the direction they're already headed.

There's something incredibly vulernable about being the only one naked between the two of them, about surrendering himself to act only as Joel cues him to, and he lets out a long exhale as he tilts his head back so that it's resting on Joel's shoulder. He reaches one arm back to extend around Joel's waist, letting his hand come to a rest on his boyfriend's ass and using other to guide one of Joel's hands down his chest, laying it flat against his skin just below his navel.

The silence between them is charged, the words aren't necessary right now because they both know what the other is feeling and it's not just arousal, it's not just the heat between their bodies or the ache of their cocks, it's more than that. It's trust, it's understanding, it's a deep-rooted sense of affection that connects them in ways Spencer had never known to be possible. He tilts his head to the side to press his lips against Joel's cheek, soft and sweet as he smiles.

They could stay like this, he thinks, as fully exposed as he is and Joel isn't, they could stay like this. He's content in Joel's arms, content and happy and safe; there's nowhere else he'd rather be.

There's something about the way Spencer's body arches, the way he tilts his head back and uses his hand to slide Joel's down his chest that nearly drives Joel out of his mind and he lets out a long, shuddering breath against Spencer's shoulder. It's not as though he has a wealth of experience behind him, but even so, there are times when he's shocked by the way Spencer makes him feel. He can turn Joel on with the right look, the right shift of his body, the right word, and Joel has never understood that being with another person could ever be like this. It's not the sort of thing that happens with just anyone, he knows that, it's rare and it's special and that they can go from this to curled up in bed with books in their hands just drives home how badly he wants to keep this. The idea of having this with Spencer, the idea of meeting him and developing this relationship and then losing it makes him feel like his chest is empty, and he promises himself, as he does daily, that he won't let himself ruin this.

"You're so... god, Spencer, you're beautiful," he murmurs, pressing kisses to his shoulder as he drops his other hand between their bodies, pulling his hips back long enough to undo his jeans. It had been fun for awhile, but now he's so hard it hurts to be confined in his briefs, and all he wants is to be able to feel Spencer's skin with every bit of him. And it's more than that, it's more than just being beautiful, because this town is full of beautiful people and he's even had one or two of them express interest in him over the years. It's so much more than that, but Spencer is incredible, too, and although Joel's pressed too tightly against him to really see, he knows. Kicking his jeans off, he presses against Spencer's back again, both his hands roaming over him now and he knows the flex and shift of muscles in Spencer's back against his chest, he knows the familiar edges of his narrow hips, he knows his long, slim hands, and Joel has to choke back another moan as he realizes just how well-known Spencer's body has become to him over the past few weeks.

Grinding his hips forward, he can't help the way his entire body shudders as his cock slides along Spencer's ass. He's never done this before, never in this position, never somewhere other than a bed or couch, and he's a little nervous, but he's excited, too. Spencer makes him want to try all sorts of things he's never done before. Spencer makes him want to try.

One hand slides down the front of Spencer's body, the blunt tips of his fingers dragging against his skin before he takes Spencer's cock in his hand again. Still pressing kisses to his shoulder and his neck and anywhere he can reach, Joel's other hand stretches out, taking hold of the bottle of lube and he knows he's going to end up spilling some, but he doesn't want to draw away and he doesn't want to take his hand off Spencer. He nearly drops the bottle twice, but ends up coating his fingers before finally setting it right again and then he pulls his hips back, replacing the head of his cock with his fingers, dragging them down Spencer's ass in a teasing way. He's grinning against his shoulder, he realizes, his teeth pressed lightly to his skin as he rubs at him gently and then twists his finger, pressing one inside Spencer with a muffled groan. It's gotten easier over the past few weeks, but he still takes care to go slowly, to not hurt him. He only ever wants this to be good.

Edited 2014-07-19 15:50 (UTC)

There's something to be said about not knowing exactly what's going to happen next, not being able to gauge what Joel's next move is going to be by the expression on his face. He gasps with pleasured surprise when he feels the finger slip into him, already past the knuckle, and Spencer loves that Joel is still so careful with him. It's a good way to drive Spencer madder with want, to be sure, but knowing that his boyfriend is always thinking about his comfort, making sure that they don't rush just because they're both so desperate for more, only serves to deepen his trust. This has never been just about sex, every time they're intimate is another experience for them to share, another moment that brings them closer together.

They've never been intimate like this before, though, and though Joel's hands are so familiar to him by now, it's a whole new way of feeling those hands on him. As Joel starts to push his finger in and out of Spencer's ass, he tugs gently on his cock, and Spence lets out a ragged moan. His knees are already threatening to buckle beneath him, and he leans forward to grip the table, changing the angle of the way Joel presses his finger into him, and it makes him arch his back as he gasps for breath.

He can feel his body flushing all over again when a second finger enters him, and he looks back over his shoulder so he can see what his boyfriend looks like right now, see the expression on Joel's face because he's so used to seeing it above him or below him but behind him is something different entirely. His hips jerk and Joel's grip is firm enough around his cock to make the thrust count. "God, you--" He lets out a breathless laugh, void of humor but full of arousal, and makes sure he meets Joel's eyes. "I can't wait to feel you inside of me."

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