they don't burn up in the sky but they can dazzle or delight (OPEN)

[doublethepain]

It takes a couple hours before he realizes that he probably shouldn't have volunteered for inventory duty at the library the same morning he'd gotten the splints off his fingers. It still feels strange, having his left hand finally free and clear, and he's been carefully flexing his hand since he'd left the hospital with regular exercises he's supposed to strengthen it again. There's still an ache in the three fingers that had been broken, or at least he thinks there is; but every time his boss notices the faraway look on his face when he should really be notating any books in poor condition.

"I'm fine, John," he says, arching an eyebrow though there's a smile that plays at the corners of his lips. "For the eighteenth time."

"It's a holiday, you should be with your boyfriend," John grumbles, and Spencer rolls his eyes because that's rich coming from a man with a wife and daughter.

He feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket and knows who it is before looking, though his smile only widens when he sees that it is, indeed, Joel. "I'm going to take a break," he announces, clapping John on the back--a gesture reserved for the only man who's ever come close to being a father figure to him--as he starts backwards toward the break room while furiously tapping at his phone to write his reply. He's distracted once he reaches the kitchen, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing a bowl of ramen as he wanders over to the microwave. He sets his phone down, smiling to himself as he just stands there for a moment, thinking about how good things are in his love life right now. It's unlike anything he's ever experienced and he puts the ramen bowl into he microwave without thinking, setting the time for three minutes from now and looking back down at his phone as the screen brightens with a new text. John calls for him then from the shelves and he shouts that he's on his way, snatching his phone from the counter and leaving the microwave running as he heads back out to meet his boss.

Half a minute later, he's got an armful of books but when they hear it, a pop from the break room followed by a quick booming noise, it makes the pair exchange a startled glance before they both drop the books in their arms and run to see what had happened. There's smoke billowing from the microwave and a fire is lit up inside, and Spencer's jaw drops as it clicks immediately. He hadn't even broken the seal on the ramen bowl, hadn't filled it with water or anything, he'd just let it... "Ohhhh, no," he groans, rubbing at his temple and to put salt in the wound, the world deems it necessary for the smoke to trigger the fire alarm.

It's not even a surprise when the sprinklers go off but at least it's centralized to the break room. He and John stand there for a moment, already soaked by the sprinklers, but when the sirens sound from outside, John drops his head and sighs. "Well, kid," he starts, and Spencer is relieved to see that when John looks back up, there's an amused smile on his face, "I guess we weren't going to be able to get through the Fourth of July without a few fireworks."

The paramedics and firefighters seem almost disappointed when Spencer explains what had happened, but they've attracted a crowd. It's a slow emergency day for the town, Spencer suspects, as awful as that may sound. He wanders away from the ambulance, hands shoved in his pockets as he observes the chatter of the gawking spectators around them and shakes his head.

"Surely there's something better that everyone could be doing."



[OOC: tl;dr Spencer accidentally blew up the library's break room and now there's a crowd, an ambulance, and a fire truck outside the building. Feel free to stop by and tell him he's an idiot. A very cute idiot.]

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[doublethepain]

Finally feeling the warmth of Joel's bare chest against his back is nearly enough to tip him over the edge. He shifts so his body bends just slightly, not even to have to grip the table yet, grinding his ass harder against Joel erection, moaning at the feel of the jeans on his skin. His boyfriend is being a tease, even if he doesn't realize it and even if he's not doing it on purpose, but Spencer can't deny that he's finding it to be effective. To be turned over like this, denied a full view of his boyfriend half-naked, is torturous as it is and it will be the first time he won't be able to watch Joel enter his full length into his ass. It's all in the ancitipation right now and it sends a shiver down his spine as goosebumps rise on the back of his neck, on his side and thighs and anywhere else Joel is touching him.

He arches his back, looking over his shoulder because he needs to see Joel's face if nothing else, and eyes the bottle of lube that had been set on the table before moaning needily. They can take their time, whatever Joel wants to do is more than fine with him, but he supposes that doesn't mean he can't at least nudge them closer to the direction they're already headed.

There's something incredibly vulernable about being the only one naked between the two of them, about surrendering himself to act only as Joel cues him to, and he lets out a long exhale as he tilts his head back so that it's resting on Joel's shoulder. He reaches one arm back to extend around Joel's waist, letting his hand come to a rest on his boyfriend's ass and using other to guide one of Joel's hands down his chest, laying it flat against his skin just below his navel.

The silence between them is charged, the words aren't necessary right now because they both know what the other is feeling and it's not just arousal, it's not just the heat between their bodies or the ache of their cocks, it's more than that. It's trust, it's understanding, it's a deep-rooted sense of affection that connects them in ways Spencer had never known to be possible. He tilts his head to the side to press his lips against Joel's cheek, soft and sweet as he smiles.

They could stay like this, he thinks, as fully exposed as he is and Joel isn't, they could stay like this. He's content in Joel's arms, content and happy and safe; there's nowhere else he'd rather be.

[just_another]

There's something about the way Spencer's body arches, the way he tilts his head back and uses his hand to slide Joel's down his chest that nearly drives Joel out of his mind and he lets out a long, shuddering breath against Spencer's shoulder. It's not as though he has a wealth of experience behind him, but even so, there are times when he's shocked by the way Spencer makes him feel. He can turn Joel on with the right look, the right shift of his body, the right word, and Joel has never understood that being with another person could ever be like this. It's not the sort of thing that happens with just anyone, he knows that, it's rare and it's special and that they can go from this to curled up in bed with books in their hands just drives home how badly he wants to keep this. The idea of having this with Spencer, the idea of meeting him and developing this relationship and then losing it makes him feel like his chest is empty, and he promises himself, as he does daily, that he won't let himself ruin this.

"You're so... god, Spencer, you're beautiful," he murmurs, pressing kisses to his shoulder as he drops his other hand between their bodies, pulling his hips back long enough to undo his jeans. It had been fun for awhile, but now he's so hard it hurts to be confined in his briefs, and all he wants is to be able to feel Spencer's skin with every bit of him. And it's more than that, it's more than just being beautiful, because this town is full of beautiful people and he's even had one or two of them express interest in him over the years. It's so much more than that, but Spencer is incredible, too, and although Joel's pressed too tightly against him to really see, he knows. Kicking his jeans off, he presses against Spencer's back again, both his hands roaming over him now and he knows the flex and shift of muscles in Spencer's back against his chest, he knows the familiar edges of his narrow hips, he knows his long, slim hands, and Joel has to choke back another moan as he realizes just how well-known Spencer's body has become to him over the past few weeks.

Grinding his hips forward, he can't help the way his entire body shudders as his cock slides along Spencer's ass. He's never done this before, never in this position, never somewhere other than a bed or couch, and he's a little nervous, but he's excited, too. Spencer makes him want to try all sorts of things he's never done before. Spencer makes him want to try.

One hand slides down the front of Spencer's body, the blunt tips of his fingers dragging against his skin before he takes Spencer's cock in his hand again. Still pressing kisses to his shoulder and his neck and anywhere he can reach, Joel's other hand stretches out, taking hold of the bottle of lube and he knows he's going to end up spilling some, but he doesn't want to draw away and he doesn't want to take his hand off Spencer. He nearly drops the bottle twice, but ends up coating his fingers before finally setting it right again and then he pulls his hips back, replacing the head of his cock with his fingers, dragging them down Spencer's ass in a teasing way. He's grinning against his shoulder, he realizes, his teeth pressed lightly to his skin as he rubs at him gently and then twists his finger, pressing one inside Spencer with a muffled groan. It's gotten easier over the past few weeks, but he still takes care to go slowly, to not hurt him. He only ever wants this to be good.

[doublethepain]

There's something to be said about not knowing exactly what's going to happen next, not being able to gauge what Joel's next move is going to be by the expression on his face. He gasps with pleasured surprise when he feels the finger slip into him, already past the knuckle, and Spencer loves that Joel is still so careful with him. It's a good way to drive Spencer madder with want, to be sure, but knowing that his boyfriend is always thinking about his comfort, making sure that they don't rush just because they're both so desperate for more, only serves to deepen his trust. This has never been just about sex, every time they're intimate is another experience for them to share, another moment that brings them closer together.

They've never been intimate like this before, though, and though Joel's hands are so familiar to him by now, it's a whole new way of feeling those hands on him. As Joel starts to push his finger in and out of Spencer's ass, he tugs gently on his cock, and Spence lets out a ragged moan. His knees are already threatening to buckle beneath him, and he leans forward to grip the table, changing the angle of the way Joel presses his finger into him, and it makes him arch his back as he gasps for breath.

He can feel his body flushing all over again when a second finger enters him, and he looks back over his shoulder so he can see what his boyfriend looks like right now, see the expression on Joel's face because he's so used to seeing it above him or below him but behind him is something different entirely. His hips jerk and Joel's grip is firm enough around his cock to make the thrust count. "God, you--" He lets out a breathless laugh, void of humor but full of arousal, and makes sure he meets Joel's eyes. "I can't wait to feel you inside of me."

[just_another]

Every single time Spencer moves or gasps or shifts the angle he's at, Joel's convinced that will be the most incredible thing he ever sees, but then Spencer does it again, then he leans down to grip the table and Joel is watching the expanse of his back spread out in front of him, he's watching his fingers disappearing inside of him, he's watching the way Spencer's body presses back toward him with need, the way his back arches and everything else fades away. He's perfect, he's incredible, and Joel's breath and words are both caught somewhere in his chest as he thrusts his fingers deeper into Spencer before adding a third, filling him, preparing him, because as soon as Spencer tells him he can't wait to feel him inside, Joel knows he isn't going to be able to wait much longer at all.

He looks up and catches Spencer's gaze and for a moment all he can do is hold it, all he can do is watch and he wonders what it looks like for Spencer, what it feels like. His fingers don't still, he twists them, pumping them deeper as his teeth press into his lower lip, as his other hand still strokes Spencer's cock. He's crowding closer already, desperate and needy, and he's relieved that Spencer's body is adjusting to him, that it's easier to thrust his fingers into him, because he's impatient.

Drawing back, even though everything in him is shouting at him to press closer, to get deeper inside Spencer, to drag their bodies together until they're pressed together everywhere he can reach. He fumbles for the bottle on the table one-handed, then ducks his head to press a kiss to the centre of Spencer's back before he reluctantly unwraps his fingers from around his cock and spills enough lube in his hand to coat himself. Although he loves looking at Spencer, loves seeing his face, as Joel presses back up against him, the head of his cock nudging against Spencer's ass, he can see the appeal of this as well. He can guide himself carefully into Spencer with one hand and the other, still slippery with lube, can reach around, slicking Spencer's cock, gliding over the warm weight of him. He can pull Spencer upright if he wants to and let him lean against his chest or he can leave him as he is, bent over the table, Joel standing beside him. His hips roll, his cock sliding deeper into Spencer's body and a low groan rumbles deep in his chest. "Spencer," he breathes and he knows he's terrible with words at the best of times, but like this, it's like he can't find a single thing to say that isn't Spencer's name.

[doublethepain]

The rest of the world seems to melt away in the moment Joel enters him and reaches around to take hold of his cock all at once. The quick prep helped well enough but Spencer is still tight around Joel's cock, and he loves it, loves the pressure he feels as his boyfriend fills him, pushes deeper and deeper inside of him. His entire body is tingling with pleasure and it won't stop, he hopes it never stops, and wishes he could kiss Joel right now but he can just barely keep himself standing. His grip on the edge of the table is tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

The sound of his name on Joel's lips makes him moan, and he'll never get enough of the way Joel says it when they're being intimate. Because this is intimate, it's not impersonal just because they're not facing each other; Spencer thinks, in fact, that it takes a great deal of trust to leave nearly everything in Joel's hands, to hand over control to the other man because Spencer doesn't know what to expect or when to expect it. All he knows is that Joel would never do anything to hurt him and that's enough. It's always going to be enough.

He whimpers when he feels Joel slide nearly all the way out before thrusting back into him, gasping at the sound of skin against skin, and that's when he hears the first crack of the fireworks outside. Something about it makes him laugh, not because anything's particularly funny but because they'd gone from spending their first holiday together prepared to watch the fireworks to having sex over Joel's dining table. The laugh quickly fades into another moan as he starts to move his hips in time with Joel's and every time Joel's cock enters him again, it means Spencer's cock pumps into his boyfriend's fist. There's no shortage of sensory overload here, and Spencer wishes it could last all night--not that they can't do this again later in the evening anyway--but between Joel's cock buried in his ass and Spencer's cock being stroked by Joel's firm grip, he's already nearing the edge.

"God, Joel." It's not exactly eloquent but it's all he can come up with between the breaths that have shortened into quick panting now as he tries to encourage Joel to quicken his pace, to not hold back because Spencer wants all of him, wants Joel to know that Spencer is his and only his, and he lays his chest flat on the table so he's practically at a ninety-degree angle, nearly letting out a sob when Joel's cock pumps into him and lands just in the right place. "Joel, please... Please..." He has no idea what he's pleading for, just knows that he needs Joel to keep going, keep thrusting, and a pleasured grin curves at his lips as he reaches his arms out to graps the opposite edge of the table and push his ass back onto Joel's cock in earnest.

[just_another]

He's incredible.

It's the only thought Joel is capable of having as Spencer lays himself out on the table, as he grips the other side and pushes back. The long lines of his body against the dark wood of the table, the grin that's curving his mouth, the way his profile looks in this light; he's absolutely incredible and Joel has to bite back a sob at the sound of skin against skin. His free hand smooths up the centre of Spencer's back before it roams back down again, grasping his hip tightly, helping him as best he can, but Joel's legs feel shaky already and it's all he can do to keep himself standing as he thrusts into Spencer, stroking his cock at the same time. There's no rhythm, not now, and he wishes he was more coherent, that he could take his time with this and with Spencer, but they have the entire night spread out ahead of them, too.

He can hear the fireworks as well, though he only dimly registers them, his entire focus brought down to this single sensation, the feeling of being inside Spencer, the warmth and tightness of his body around Joel's cock. It's so good, it's better than anything he's ever known and his hand twists around Spencer, grateful for the lube that makes it easier for his grip to slide, for him to move his hand in at least some of the ways he's come to learn that Spencer enjoys and it's that thought that sends him careening toward the edge.

It's only been a week since their fist time, but he's already learning Spencer's body, the same way Spencer is learning his. There's no disappointment that comes with discovering certain parts of Spencer have become familiar to him, only a deep, low burn of pleasure in his belly when he realizes how well they're going to get to know each other. It's already more than he's ever imagined, more than he's ever possibly hoped for, and to know it's going to continue, that it will get better, that one day, he'll know exactly the right touch or the right word to lead them to this very position within moments is exciting. He wants that. He wants something so deep they'll know each other better than they really knows themselves.

The next groaning sob escapes him as he thrusts forward harder, burying himself inside Spencer, spilling into his body as he whispers his name over and over again. His head drops for a moment, but he forces it back up again because he wants to watch. He wants to see Spencer pressing back against him, he wants to see the way his muscles quiver when he comes, and Joel's hips are rolling lazily now, half-time to the speed they'd picked up earlier, but he's still stroking his hand over Spencer's cock, his grip firm, his thumb flicking against the head as his hand smooths up and over the curve of his ass.

[doublethepain]

He wishes he could do more than moan to make Joel understand just how amazing this feels. As much as he loves to be facing his boyfriend when they're having sex, this is a whole new experience of practically losing that ability, of having just a partial view of what Joel looks likes behind him. When Joel pounds into him that much deeper, that much harder, Spencer gives up entirely and drops his head to give in to sensations of his boyfriend's strong hand traveling up and down his body, raking over his back and gripping his hip, while the other is relentless in pumping Spencer's length. He's close, he's tightening around Joel's cock with very thrust, and he shuts his eyes tight so that the rest the world is shut out--the apartment, the fireworks, everything, they all disappear and it's just him and Joel.

He hears every hitch of breath between them, every slap of skin and creak of the wood beneath him, and he nearly cries out when he finally feels it. Joel's release fills him, he feels the sudden warmth spreading inside of him, and his hands weakly scrape at the table as his jaw slackens. He's not too far behind, jerking his hips forward so that he gets a few more good pumps over his cock before he's pulsing into Joel's hand.

He loves this, loves it when Joel comes inside of him because it just feel so incredibly intimate. It's something he wouldn't let anybody else do, and he remembers the silent agreement they'd come to during their first time that neither of them wanted to use condoms. Neither of them had said anything, they hadn't discussed it in advance, but they'd both just known. Spencer is willing to give all of himself to Joel, open himself up completely, and he doesn't want a single layer of anything between them.

Joel's grip loosens over his cock, but Spencer is still laid out over the table with his knees nearly buckling but riding out his orgasm as he takes quiet and satisfied pleasure in the way Joel's palm feels over his ass. "God, you're good at this," he says, though it comes out in one long sigh, and he follows it with a sheepish laugh as he turns his head to rest his cheek on the table so he can try to get a better view of his boyfriend as he slowly pulls out--much to Spencer's dismay, as always. "I'm afraid you've rendered me absolutely useless. You're going to have to carry me to the bed."

[just_another]

"Okay," Joel murmurs and although he's only partly hearing Spencer's words, he still registers them and he will, if he has to, he'll carry Spencer to bed where he'll wrap himself around his boyfriend, where he'll tug Spencer down on top of him and fall asleep. Or, if he's lucky and if his body decides to cooperate, where he'll be able to kiss and touch Spencer until they're both hard again, until he can take Spencer into his mouth, until he can do any number of the wonderful things he wants to be able to do to Spencer, but at the moment they're all just a little too far beyond him. Even moving is difficult and he shifts on shaking legs, testing them out before he reluctantly releases Spencer's hip, before he takes a cautious step away, then smiles and holds his hands out toward Spencer.

They've just had sex on his table, the one Joel built nearly eight years ago, cursing and sweating in this very spot. It's just a table, but it's something he built on his own, with his hands, and having pressed Spencer down against the aged wood as he thrust into him is a strangely amazing feeling. Then again, that might have little to do with the table itself and everything to do with the man. Spencer makes him feel things he never would have thought he was even capable of and even though it's several moments since Spencer has said he's good at this, Joel only really registers it now and as he takes his boyfriend's hands and tugs him close, he smiles.

"I think you make me good at this," he murmurs, wrapping his arms around Spencer, and he doesn't know if Spencer genuinely requires help getting to the bed, but Joel is more than happy to supply it either way. He begins to walk backwards slowly, taking Spencer with him, and they're really only a few feet from the bed anyway. Once they're there, he turns them so Spencer's back is to the bed, then nudges him down onto the mattress gently before crawling up beside him, stretched out on his side with his arm pillowing his head. There's a window just on the other side of the bed and he glances over to it, just barely able to see the fireworks from between buildings.

"It's not as good at it would be on the fire escape, but..." He trails off and then points, ducking his head so Spencer can see what remains of the fireworks going off on the boardwalk. A little part of him wishes they'd still gone out on the, that they were sitting in the chairs now, but there will be other holidays, other celebrations, and he thinks what's most important, what really counts is that they're here together. There's genuinely no place he wouldn't go if it meant to two of them were together.

[doublethepain]

Joel could lead him anywhere right now and Spencer would mindlessly follow. As it turns out, it's just to the bed that he finds himself being lowered onto, and he's relieved that his boyfriend and taken him by the hand because Spencer's fairly certain he really would have needed Joel to carry him under any other circumstances. It's not just the sex that has him so weak at the knees, though it's not exactly unhelpful; it's knowing how perfectly content he could never bee with anyone else.

"'Not as good'?" he repeats, and he hasn't got enough energy to actually sounds as incredulous as he feels but Spencer shakes his head before pressing a kiss to the crown of Joel's as he lifts his eyes to view the fireworks. It's a lovely show, it really is, but it wouldn't be of any interest to him if he'd spent the holiday alone like he has the past couple years. "It's perfect from right here."

How could he want to be anywhere else? He knows they would still be having an amazing time if they'd managed to make it to the fire escape, if they'd simply finished dinner and moved on to having dessert outside, but they've shared something so incredible in here. To let Joel do this to him, to let his boyfriend take control as he'd basically prostrated himself over a table that means more than just a table, is an intimate act that he could only ever share with Joel--and Spencer hadn't realized just how far he's willing to go or how much he's willing to experiment with his sex life until now because up until about a week one, he hadn't had a sex life at all.

"It's perfect and nobody else makes me feel like you do," he says, his tone softer now, and they lie in bed in a short, comfortable silence as the fireworks show comes to an end. He can imagine the burst of applause from the people watching on the beach, the boardwalk, wherever they'd ended up that evening, and Spencer shifts his attention back to his boyfriend. "I think it's been a successful first official holiday together."

[just_another]

Joel has shifted onto his side, watching Spencer watch the fireworks and he drags his fingertips up and down Spencer's chest as he does. More often than not, he's still stunned that he gets to be the one lying here with him. That Spencer hadn't decided to let someone else in first, that he wasn't already in a relationship or married, that someone in this town hadn't seen everything in him that's so good, so amazing, and pursued him the way Joel knows he never could have. Whatever awkward way he'd managed to make Spencer understand how much he liked him had worked, though, and while he still thinks it's amazing no one else has won him over already, he wonders if they would have been able to. If maybe this is just meant to be, if they'd been waiting for each other, both too secluded to really find their way until they'd met by accident. Until the Hydra.

He smiles faintly, still watching Spencer, as he wonders how many people in the world can say the met their significant other because of a Hydra. He's willing to bet the number isn't very high.

When Spencer looks back at him, his smile grows and he nods his agreement, thinking they've had more than just a successful holiday together. "What's the next one?" he asks, thinking ahead to the fall. "Halloween? Thanksgiving?" There's Christmas, too, and he's already begun to think of what kind of gift he'd like to get Spencer. He wants it to be something important, something meaningful, something he thinks no one else would have already given him. Because that's what Spencer has done for him. He's given Joel something so important, something so individual to the two of them, something he's never had before.

Then he really hears what else Spencer has said and he can't help it, his smile gets even wider before he ducks his head to kiss Spencer. He's never been so comfortable, so happy kissing anyone, he's never felt like this, he never wants to have anyone but this man in his life for the rest of his life. "No one makes me feel like you do either," he murmurs against Spencer's mouth. "You make me so happy."

[doublethepain]

"Halloween, Thanksgiving," he echoes with a hand, lifting a hand so he can start ticking off his fingers as he lists more. "Labor Day, Be Late for Something Day--that's the fifth of September, by the way, I can think of a few ways we can accomplish that--then there's always Saturday. No shortage, really."

He grins into the kiss, parting his lips so their tongues can meet and work in unison like they always do, in sync just like they always are. It's amazing how well Joel understands him in so many ways, from the right way to touch him to the right way to comfort him, and it makes Spencer's chest swell with affection for his boyfriend. Nobody else has access to him like this, though he's slowly become less closed-off than he'd used to be before meeting Joel.

"So happy," he says with an affirming nod, though that doesn't even begin to cover what Joel makes him feel. It's indescribable because Spencer is still trying to piece it all together. He has no reference for this, not even anything he's read in books because for once, he thinks what's written in the books he's read can't do this justice. He wonders if it's an inability to truly take to pen and paper a relationship so strong or if there's simply no way to properly describe it at all. Either way, he's beyond grateful to know it himself, to not have to rely on the words of others to tell him what he should hope to one day feel for someone.

He has it now. He has Joel.

He trails his fingertips up and down Joel's spine, tilting his head to get a better look at his boyfriend. "Wait, have we just decided that the rest of our holidays will be spent with me bent over tables or various other kinds of furniture?" He arches a suggestive eyebrow. "Because I'm very much not opposed to that."

[just_another]

"Couches, chairs, all sorts of tables," Joel agrees, casting his gaze around the apartment to see if he can come up with any other kind of furniture for them to make use of. He's smiling a little and a shiver races down his spine at the touch of Spencer's fingers, but he isn't entirely joking either. This is the first time his apartment hasn't felt lonely. He loves it here, he always has, but it's always been quiet and secluded and though he never would have admitted to it before now, it's always felt a little lonely, but now Spencer is here to fill it with his smile and his energy. "Every surface imaginable that we can figure out a way to use, we'll use it."

They have all the time in the world to figure it out, too. There's no rush, there's no reason for them to do everything at once because Joel truly has no intention of ever ending this. If Spencer one day decides he's had enough, that he doesn't want this anymore, Joel knows he'll try, he'll fight for them, because he believes this is exceptional. But he won't ever be the one to step away and he doesn't think Spencer will either. That sort of confidence has to be rare, he thinks, but maybe everyone in love knows that.

"The bookstore," he murmurs, his voice low as he ducks his head to press a kiss to Spencer's shoulder. He still tastes faintly of the sweat dried on his skin and Joel's tongue flicks out, gently tracing a line toward his throat. "The library. Every single room in your house. There are a lot of rooms in your house, you know." Maybe they'll avoid the one where Raleigh sleeps, but everything else, he figures, is fair game.

"We don't have to wait for holidays either," he says, although Spencer has more or less said as much when he'd suggested Saturday. "Any day. Every day if you want."

[doublethepain]

"If I want?" he asks with a soft laugh. He reaches out to brush his fingers through Joel's curls before resting his hand lightly at the back of his head, closing his eyes as he sighs with satisfaction at the sensation of Joel's lips on his shoulder, Joel's tongue against his throat. He wants this all the time, every moment of every day, just the two of them together and sharing all of themselves. "I'll always want, it's like-- like something's missing when you're not close to me. Sometimes I'll be working, and I'll reach for your hand but you're not there." He tilts his chin up toward the ceiling, shaking his head a little as he lets out an embarassed laugh and his cheeks redden.

"I know it sounds silly, I've just..." He trails off with a shrug.

He's just never connected with anyone like this before. He' just never craved someone's presence as much as he does Joel's, he's never felt such a deep need for someone to be by his side. He knows Joel is teasing--only a little, though, Spencer thinks--about finding all kinds of different places to feel each other, taste each other, and he shivers at the mention of the bookstore and the library. He wants it, all of it, all of Joel; and he wants to give that to Joel in return. He wants to make sure that a day don't go by that Joel doesn't feel valued or wanted.

"I've just grown the slighest bit attached, it seems," he finishes, relaxing into a smile as he glances down to meet Joel's eyes. His boyfriend is so incredibly beautiful and he thinks that for a second, he actually forgets how to breathe. Knowing that they have any day, every day, brings him a kind of peace he's never known before, and he has no intention of losing this. He wouldn't trade what he has with Joel for anything, for anyone.

[just_another]

"It doesn't sound silly," Joel murmurs, looking up to meet Spencer's gaze briefly before he returns his attention to Spencer's throat, his lips brushing against his skin, against the light dusting of stubble along his jaw. This is the sort of thing he could do all night, he thinks, the kind of thing he'll never want to stop. If Spencer wants to have sex again, he'll be more than happy, but if he doesn't, if he only wants to lie here, Joel knows he can pass the entire evening just finding new places to kiss. Even during these few short weeks, he's already learned that the skin just behind Spencer's ear is soft, that it makes him shiver when Joel kisses him there. He's learned the curve of his neck with just his lips, the taste of the skin just under his jaw and he wants to know every bit of his body the way he's learned these places.

Shifting on the bed, he presses kisses to Spencer's collarbone, following the long line of bone, the lean slope of muscle that is the plane of his chest. His hand smooths over Spencer's side and his fingers curve over his hip, anchoring himself as he kisses a long line down Spencer's chest, then swipes his tongue gently over his nipple. He's not even really trying to turn him on again, but he can't seem to drag himself away. Usually, after an orgasm, Joel's found himself exhausted, wanting nothing more than to tug Spencer against him and fall asleep like that, but tonight he isn't tired. Tonight he's slow and lazy and all he wants is to lie in bed with Spencer, but he doesn't want to fall asleep. He wants to kiss the inside of Spencer's wrist just to see what sort of reaction it gets.

"It doesn't sound silly," he says again, his breath puffing out against Spencer's skin where he's just used his tongue. His gaze flicks up briefly as he rolls onto his stomach, half on top of Spencer, half on the bed, then drops his head again, nuzzling his nose against Spencer's chest, his eyes closed as breathes in the scent of him. "I leave you in the morning and all I can think about is lunch, when I know I get to see you again." It's true; he does his job, nothing has changed, but he's been doing this job for so long that it doesn't take much concentration and that's a very lucky thing. These days, he doesn't have much concentration to give that isn't devoted to Spencer. He tips his head to the side, rubbing his cheek against Spencer's smooth again before he nips lightly at the line of his ribs.

[doublethepain]

He tries to bite back his pleased smile but isn't remotely successful, especially not when he parts his lips to let out a gasp at Joel's tongue over his nipple. He's not convinced that Joel understands exactly what he does to Spencer, how arousing nearly everything he does is, how often Spencer thinks about his desperate need to get back into bed with him. He can't help but take pleasure in the fact that they can't keep their hands off each other, that their physical attraction is as strong as their mental one, and he likes that things could go either way right now--he could just lie right here with Joel's head resting on his chest, or they could work themselves up to having sex again. He doesn't feel obligated to choose, he's happy to let this pan out however it will; it's just nice to know that Joel will be just as happy with whatever they end up doing for the rest of the night.

He arches his hips when Joel nips at his side, letting one hand fall to the mattress so he can bunch the sheets in his fist as he shivers. "What else do you think about, hmm?" he asks, voice strained and shaky. "Do you think about what you'll do to me that night? Or maybe you think about me on my knees for you. I know I think about both those things constantly, all the ways I can make you feel good. All the ways you'll make me moan." His cock twitches, and he lets out a short, incredulous laugh. Nobody else could possibly turn him on like this, they've only just finished having sex, they're both still sticky with come and sweat, but this is the effect Joel has on him. "You're a menace, by the way," he grumbles, though the words have no real ire behind them.

He wants to learn all the different ways Joel can make him squirm, and he wants to do the same for his boyfriend. He wants to take a full day or ten off from work and dedicate his time to exploring every inch of Joel's body, finding every little spot that makes him sigh or moan or laugh. He wants to try all the different positions they can get into, wants to feel Joel entering him from all sorts of angles, and he knows they have time because Joel isn't going anywhere; but he wants all of this, and he wants it all the time because the feelings he has for Joel are so incredibly strong, so overwhelming somtimes that he finds it hard to concentrate once his mind starts to wander. He could shelve books in his sleep at this point in his life so it's not like daydreaming about getting Joel naked is much of a bother--as if it ever could be--but nevertheless, he finds it increasingly annoying when a patron approaches him for help these days.

He wants to do more for Joel right now, wants to run his hands over the hair on his boyfriend's chest and drag them down until his brings brush just above Joel's cock; but he's feeling rather useless right now, still delightfully weak from his orgasm, so he decides to let himself give in this time. He's always happy to let Joel take control.

[just_another]

This is the part Joel always has trouble with, but it's the part he wants to be better at for Spencer. All he knows is what whenever Spencer speaks, whenever he says any of the delightfully dirty things that seem so unexpected, his body responds almost immediately. Spencer asks if Joel pictures him on his knees and already he can feel himself responding, his cock twitching even though he's come not all that long ago. There's just something about it, something about hearing those words coming out of Spencer's mouth that sends Joel almost right back to the edge. Obviously no one else has ever said such things to him before, but it's more than that. It's not just that it's new, it's that these things are being said by Spencer and even though it's not the first time, it still surprised Joel a little and he grins against Spencer's ribs.

And he knows he has to try. If he sounds stupid, he's sure Spencer won't laugh at him, and if he stutters or fumbles for words, he's sure all Spencer will do is drag him up for a kiss so he relaxes.

"I think about..." His lips brush Spencer's side, traveling up toward his nipple again where he swirls his tongue around it. "I think about you on your knees, yeah. Sucking my cock. I think about you surprising me when you get home, not saying a word, just pulling me into the nearest room and undoing my pants and..." He has to stop, only because he does think about it a lot and even just saying it makes him want to arch his hips down, searching for some kind of friction against his cock. He's not even hard, not yet anyway, but the need is still there.

"I think about watching you," he whispers, pressing a kiss to the place where Spencer's ribs meet in the centre of his chest. He rolls onto him more completely, pressing his weight down on either side of Spencer's body, supporting himself on his elbows. "About you touching yourself. I like that. I like thinking about... not being able to touch you, not at first, having to just watch you." He thinks it would just about drive him crazy, but certainly not in a bad way. There's something deeply appealing about the idea of having Spencer being completely in control like that, of having him touch himself for Joel until he decides when Joel can actually join him in bed, when he's allowed to touch him. Because Spencer might not realize it, but he has all the control. There's nothing in the world he could say that Joel would refuse.

[doublethepain]

"One of these days, you'll come home. You'll walk into our room, and I'll already be naked." He snakes a hand between them and wraps a hand around his slowly hardening cock, and he shudders again because he's still so sensitive, but it doesn't stop him from encouraging his renewed arousal with a stroke. His voice is husky because it turns out that hearing Joel say that, knowing that Joel thinks about this when they're apart, is an incredible turn-on. When he pumps over the head of his cock, his fist brushes against Joel's length, and Spencer smiles softly up at the other man. "I'll be naked and in bed and touching myself, waiting for you, and you can watch until I can't take it anymore, until I need to undress you and take you in my mouth. All of you, every inch, and then I'll ride you until you come inside me."

It's getting harder to breathe properly, and he couldn't have had any idea before Joel had come along that saying things like this while keeping his eyes level with his boyfriend's could feel so good. The weight of Joel on top of him is one that actually makes him feel guarded, safe, because when they're in bed together, it's always going to just be the two of them. What they do in the bedroom--or anywhere else, for that matter--is for their eyes and ears only, he'll never speak a word of it to anyone because their intimacy is more important to him than he can say. He feels like he's been made for this man, their bodies fit together so perfectly and it means something to Spencer that he hasn't been willing to let anyone else see him naked since that first time in high school, that first time he's always considered a mistake.

Every kiss, every nip, every lick that Joel leaves on his body is sacred to him. Joel's are the only lips that have traveled over him like this; Joel's cock is the only one that will ever be guided inside him; Joel's hands are the only ones that will ever touch him this way. There's no other option, it will only ever be Joel who sees Spencer like this, and there's a confidence that comes with that knowledge. It's a confidence that lets him say the things he's said because as far as Spencer is concerned, Joel is more than just a boyfriend, he's become a partner. He trusts Joel with his life, with his heart, with his body, and there's nobody in this world who could change that.

He runs his hands over Joel's shoulderblades, raking his nails down the other man's back and spreading his legs to invite Joel even closer toward him. He lets his hands come to a rest on Joel's ass, leaning his neck foward to lick over the hollow of Joel's neck. "So that's Saturday," he teases. "If you have any other requests, you know I'd do anything for you."

[just_another]

Joel doesn't know how Spencer does it, how he says such things with ease, still speaking as Joel feels himself quickly unravelling. He can feel Spencer's hand between them, he knows Spencer is stroking himself, exactly like Joel wants to watch him do one day, he can feel it when Spencer's knuckles brush against him and he has to struggle to retain any of his composure. He loves that Spencer can do this to him, that all he needs to do is say so few words and Joel has nearly completely lost any sort of control he'd had over himself. With just a sentence or two, he's entirely lost to Spencer, though the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes being lost to Spencer is rapidly becoming his default state. It's a good feeling, knowing he can go to Spencer's at the end of the day, knowing he'll always be welcome, knowing no matter what they do, even if it's simply sitting on the couch, reading their own books, he has a place.

He doesn't know if he's ever had a place before. He's never belonged anywhere except in the bookstore, in the dark, between the stacks, knowing that few people ever come in to buy the real books, the ones he loves; that most everyone who comes through the door is either looking for some kind of potion or simply wants a trashy romance novel to while away the hours on the beach. That was the only place he belonged until now, but he has a place. And he'll never take that for granted.

A shiver runs down his spine at the feel of Spencer's nails against his skin and he sinks closer against him, grinding his hips down, feeling his cock rubbing against Spencer's. Everything is still so sensitive, he feels as if he's right on edge, but he's nearly hard again and any self-control he'd had -- if he's ever had any at all when it comes to Spencer, he truly thinks he hasn't -- has disappeared.

"I'll have to think about it," he gasps, his lips parting at the feel of Spencer's tongue. "I'll get back to you when I... oh, god... when I'm able to think again." Which he hopes doesn't happen any time soon, he hopes this sort of distraction goes on for awhile yet, because he can feel Spencer getting hard against his body and he's not sure he's ever felt anything he likes that much. A thought comes to him then, one that's unexpected, and he groans before he manages to actually say anything. "I thought of one. I want to feel you get hard in my mouth," he blurts out, still arching his hips down, grinding against Spencer.

[doublethepain]

Spencer pulls back to look up at Joel with a surprised but pleased smile, eyes shining with desire as he slowly nods, pumping his fist over his cock against before moving his other hand so his fingertips sweep lightly over Joel's own length. "You always have the best ideas," he says, wetting his lips as he gently presses his hands against Joel's shoulders, encouraging him to move down the bed until his head is between Spencer's legs. Normally, he'd be happy to wait it out, to let Joel take his time and be as gentle as he always is, to revel in the feeling of Joel's hands traveling over his body; but he knows that if he lets that happen, he'll be hard and ready to come again by the time Joel even gets to his cock, and he wants what Joel wants right now. He wants Joel's lips on him, wants to let his head fall back against the pillows behind him and roll his hips against his boyfriend's skilled tongue.

Once Joel has positioned himself just right, Spencer moves his hands to comb through his hair as he shivers at the way Joel's beard tickles his skin. His legs are spread wide and his breaths are coming more and more shallow because he's already anticipating the warmth of Joel's mouth and his fingers tighten in Joel's hair. "God," he mutters under his breath before huffing a short laugh. "You haven't even touched me yet, and I-- I feel like--"

He feels like there's an incredible amount of energy crackling between them, a spark that has been there from the very start; he knows that because he'd felt it between them, while they'd been drunk in the library with their fingers almost brushing; he'd felt it on that park bench, the first time Joel had taken his hand; the first time they'd kissed, the second and third time, and every time they've kissed; he feels it every day, that spark that runs through him like an electric current and makes him shudder like nothing and nobody else has done for him before.

"I feel like there's nothing else that could ever be better than this," he finishes, and it's true. "That you want me like this, it's--" He laughs again, rubbing a hand over his face because he's not even sure what he's saying anymore, Joel's got him so aroused and his body is so sensitive and he's not sure he could even be able to accurately say which way's up or down right now so instead of saying it again, he goes with what he's already said. "Nothing could ever be better than this. Than us."

[just_another]

That Spencer not only likes the idea, but is encouraging it right now sends a ripple of pleasure down Joel's spine and he moves happily down the bed, his hands smoothing over Spencer's side as he settles between his legs and there's something perfectly indecent in the way Spencer just spreads his legs for him. It speaks of the trust between them and Joel knows he thinks about it a lot, but it's what makes everything they do feel so important. Spencer trusts him, he trusts him in ways no one has ever trusted him before and Joel returns it easily, because this man, this perfect, incredible man, he's proven himself to be a good person. He is, without a doubt, the best person Joel has ever known and he's here because he wants to be, they both want to be, and Joel knows how important that is. It's important to him and he knows it wouldn't matter to anyone, but it matters to them and that's just one small part of why they want.

Rubbing his cheek against Spencer's thigh, he slides his hand up, circling the base of his cock before he flashes a smile and ducks his head. "I'll always want you," he murmurs and he knows it's true. More than anything he's said in a long time, he knows he'll always want Spencer, he'll always want to be with him, and not just like this. He wants to be just be with Spencer, he wants to spend time with him, he doesn't want this sort of relationship with anyone else and he can't imagine that changing, not when Spencer is exactly the right person for him. Joel has never been so sure of anything before. He shifts, lifting Spencer's cock, taking him into his mouth and it's a completely different sensation than all the other times he's done this, but it's exactly what he'd said he wants.

One of his hands slides up Spencer's body, just wanting to touch him, wanting to hold on as he takes his cock deeper into his mouth and he can feel it happening. He can feel Spencer getting hard against his tongue and between his lips and he doesn't know why, but that simple sensation sends sparks of such intense pleasure rushing through him that he has to grind his hips down against the bed, a low moan rumbling deep in his throat. Maybe it's the knowledge that he's doing this, he's responsible for making Spencer feel this good. They're together and he's laid Spencer down in this bed completely satisfied not so long ago and now he's here again, his boyfriend's cock getting hard in his mouth and he's never imagined himself at being particularly good in bed, has never really had reason to care, but it gives him a little surge of confidence.

No one else matters. So long as he can do this to Spencer, Joel knows he'll be happy for the rest of his life. He groans again, using his tongue, his cheeks hollowing as his head slowly begins to bob and he gropes blindly, looking for one of Spencer's hands. He gaze flicks up, wanting to see Spencer, wanting to be able to take his hand, wanting to know exactly how he's making him feel.