[closed: joel, dated for idk before]

[doublethepain]

Joel's going to kill him. Or at the very least, be mildly unimpressed with him.

Never mind the fact that Spencer had texted him to promise he'd be home with dinner over an hour ago, he's now arriving empty-handed and with a widespread burn across his side from the spark that had hit him on the beach. He still isn't sure what had happened or whether the woman he'd been with would be alright but right now, Spencer is selfish enough not to want to worry about that because the pain of the burn seems to getting worse by the minute.

It's not as bad as it could be, he supposes, and he's been subjected to worse before; but he can't imagine that his husband will be very much pleased with him or the situation as a whole. He should have just walked away when the woman had shouted for him to but no, of course, he'd had to get involved.

He sighs, lingering in the doorway with his key in the lock for a long moment as he reminds himself of all the reasons why this is really his own fault. He's a husband, he's going to be a father, and he's not exactly gifted with powers like a majority of this town. Spencer winces when he moves again, the stretch of his skin stinging terribly as he unlocks the door and steps inside, half expecting his husband to be standing right in the threshold with his arms crossed over his chest and a stern expression. Instead, he's greeted by a yipping Huxley and instantly, the tension in Spencer's shoulders eases as he lets out a soft laugh and kneels down to scratch at the puppy's ears.

"Joel?" he calls, gathering Huxley in his arms and letting out a grunt as he gets back to his feet. "I'm home. Please don't tell me you've already filed a missing persons report."

Comments

[just_another]

While he knows Spencer is joking, at the sound of his voice Joel comes rushing out of the kitchen anyway, a dish towel slung over one shoulder and a coffee mug in his hand, prepared to be returned to the cupboard. He's been cleaning the house for what feels like the entire evening now, doing it simply to distract himself from the fact that his husband was over an hour late getting home because once people are late, all manner of things are possible. There's probably a very good reason Spencer hasn't come home until just now, but whatever it might be, Joel can't help but let himself feel the rush of relief that comes when he hears his voice. Washing and drying the dishes really only goes so far when it comes to distraction and Joel has spent the last twenty minutes dreaming up all sorts of horrible scenarios that may have happened on Spencer's way home. He doesn't even care about dinner, he only cares that his husband is safe.

And while he certainly hasn't filed a missing persons report, he isn't all that far from going upstairs and ruining another of Spencer's shirt in a locator spell, so it's probably for the best that he's come through the door when he has. Neither of them have especially extensive wardrobes and with a baby on the way it's probably not such a great idea to start destroying shirts on their own, but Joel thinks he'd have an easier time of finding Spencer than the police. It's not that he doesn't trust them, but they hadn't exactly stopped Mark Fuller from hurting Spencer.

"I was giving you another ten minutes before I went and lit one of your shirts on fire with a spell," Joel answers and although his voice and expression are both dry, he trusts Spencer to be able to read him well enough now to see his relief. To see that he really isn't angry at all, just pleased that he's come home and in one piece. "What kept you? Are you..." And then he catches sight of Spencer's side, the material of his shirt looking like it's been burned away and Joel's brows draw together in a frown as he trails off and just stares. Spencer has been hurt. It doesn't like like it's the sort of thing that just happens while walking home from picking up dinner and the only thing Joel can think is that someone out there in this town hurt Spencer. Someone out there hurt his husband and the first thing he's going to do once he takes care of Spencer is find them and make sure they don't hurt anyone else.

"What happened?" he asks, setting the coffee mug down on the table without even looking at it. The towel is still slung over his shoulder, but he's forgotten it's there as he steps forward to get a better look. "Jesus, Spencer, put the dog down. Come here." He might not be able to outright heal him entirely, but he can give him something for the pain, something that will speed the healing process and he's sure his mother left a salve or two upstairs when they were here last. Something to encourage the regeneration of new skin.

[doublethepain]

It's perfectly clear, from the restraint in Joel's tone to the busywork of drying off the dishes, that his husband had been worried, and Spencer can't blame him. Since spending the night together for the first time nearly a year ago, they haven't spent more than one evening away from each other and moreover, when either of them say they're going to be somewhere, they're there. The only exception, perhaps, is when they extend their lunch hours at the store but honestly, that can't be helped.

"I'm okay," he says instantly, and it isn't far from the truth. Yes, he's in a fair bit of pain from the burn but all things considered, he thinks he'd escaped what had happened with Fiona at the boardwalk relatively unscathed. He could have been hit with another spark again, after all, or suffered far worse than what he had; but Spencer opts not to say any of this to Joel, who's already inspecting the wound with a creased brow.

He feels his chest tighten with guilt because this isn't how he'd planned for the evening to go. The second he'd left the store, he'd been content with the idea of finding something to take home for dinner and then spend the rest of the night sharing their usual glass of whiskey, possibly fitting in a bit of time to read before eventually whisking his husband up to the bedroom. It'd only been on his way past the beach that he'd stopped to spend what he'd intended to be just a few minutes to gaze out at the water, letting himself remember what it'd been like to be a merman in love with a prince; but that had clearly turned out to be an enormous mistake.

He hisses in pain when Joel prods gently at the burn, gentle though his touch may be, and Huxley squirms out of his arms when he squeezes the poor little pup too hard. "It was an accident," he says, reaching down to wrap his fingers around Joel's wrist, body tense from the anticipation of more pain. He knows this is necessary, knows that Joel can help him but first he has to look at it, but that doesn't mean he has to like it. "There was a woman by the boardwalk, she was-- She was in trouble. I've never seen anything like what she could do."

[just_another]

He knows injuries are inevitable. He can't keep Spencer -- or their baby -- in a protective bubble for the rest of their lives and he can't promise that nothing is ever going to happen to either of them. He can't even promise that nothing is going to happen to him, but he feels like he should be able to. Being a witch should come with some sort of guarantee, a way for him to protect himself and those he loves from anything that might befall them, and he knows it's a stupid, unfair, impossible thought, but he wants it all the same. He wants to find some way to make everyone he loves invincible. In particular, he wants to find some way to make Spencer invincible. He's talking about a woman on the boardwalk who was in trouble and Joel selfishly wants to tell him not to try to help people like that. Magic can be so unpredictable, it can be so dangerous, but he knows he can't say that. He can't because Spencer would never listen to him, he's too good a man. And he can't because he knows he would never take his own advice.

Had he been on the boardwalk, he'd be the one with burns now.

"Come with me," he says, not leaving any room for argument as he leads Spencer toward the stairs. The dishes can wait, the rest of his cleaning had really only been a distraction tactic anyway, and he's far more focused on Spencer's condition than he is on the plates still remaining in the sink. They'll still be there tomorrow, after all. His priority is Spencer. His priority is always going to be Spencer. He isn't even hungry anymore, all thoughts of dinner or having a glass of whiskey with Spencer in the library gone from his mind. Instead he's cataloguing what he knows he has upstairs in their bathroom, trying to figure out what will work best with a burn. There's two in particular that might help, especially combined with his mother's salve.

"Take off your shirt and sit on the bed. I need to see what happened before I get something for you," Joel instructs as he turns on all the lights in the room. It's hardly romantic, but he needs to be able to see. He needs to know the severity of the burn, if it's something he can take care of here himself or if he should really take Spencer to the hospital. There's only so much he can do with potions and he's not willing to risk infection or a slow, painful healing process if the hospital can do something better for Spencer than Joel is capable of himself.

With the lights on, he goes to the bed and sinks onto his knees on the floor beside Spencer as he waits for him to take off his shirt. "What do you mean she was in trouble?" he asks. "What was she doing?" Something, obviously, that caused a burn, though with magic that could really be just about anything. He hates thinking of Spencer just wanting to help her, wanting to offer some kind of assistance and being paid back with injuries. It likely isn't her fault, Spencer doesn't seem angry at all, but Joel figures that can be his job. To be irrationally angry at someone who hurt his husband by accident.

[doublethepain]

Normally, Spencer is exceptionally eager to comply when Joel tells him to take his clothes off but right now, he's considerably slower about it than he probably should be. He's always been this way, a terrible patient who doesn't like to be fussed over, and it's why he'd insisted on checking himself out of the hospital even after what had happened with Mark. Three broken fingers, a concussion, and bruises on his neck from strangulation, and Spencer hadn't wanted the attention.

It's unavoidable with Joel, of course, and he wouldn't find it anyway because if there's one person he's willing to let this close, it will always be Joel; but he still can't help being just a little bit of a brat when it comes to anything related to medical care.

"It's barely anything at all," he protests, though another hiss of pain begs to differ as he lifts his shirt above his head to give Joel a better view of the burn. Spencer hasn't even looked at it closely, to be perfectly honest, because he'd been afraid of what he might find there. He doesn't feel like he's close to passing out so that had been a good enough indicator at the time but in terms of needing to pay a visit to the hospital to treat the wound, he's resistant enough to pay it less mind than it's probably due.

He leans back on the bed with a low groan, his palms digging into the mattress in an effort to disguise the way he just needs to grip something, which turns out to be the duvet beneath his fingers. "Trouble," he repeats, shrugging a shoulder, and he doesn't quite know how to explain it because he still isn't sure what he'd been seeing.

"She was screaming, shaking and it was awful. There were sparks shooting from her hands but not like the kind you make, they were..." He trails off, glancing down at his side and blinking at the sight of the blistered, reddened skin. "They were painful. For both of us. When I tried to help, she only said that she needed a spell, but I didn't want to-- to call you. I didn't want you to be there." He avoids Joel's gaze when he makes the confession, knowing that it'd been a selfish choice to put himself in harm's way when he wouldn't have wanted his husband in the same position, but what's done is done. He'd already been burned once at that point, and it'd seemed like reasonable enough logic at the time.

"It wouldn't stop. She kept telling me to run, that she couldn't control it. There was nothing I could do, I was just useless."

[just_another]

"Jesus," Joel murmurs under his breath, more in response to the story Spencer is telling than the burn itself. It isn't barely anything, as Spencer had insisted, but it isn't as bad as he had feared either. The hospital likely won't do much more than what Joel is going to do, though without magic and therefore a little less effectively, so he decides they're not going to need to make the trip. Something he's sure Spencer will be glad to hear. Neither of them are very good at being hospitalized and he thinks they've had far too many reasons to learn that about themselves over the past year. What he wants now, more than anything, is to find a way to keep them both from ever having to spend another night under that roof unless it's the night when they welcome their baby into their family.

"Stay here for a second," he says, rising to his feet. He pauses long enough to press a kiss against Spencer's temple, lingering longer than perhaps is necessary just so Spencer knows how worried he'd been and how grateful he is that he's home now. Home and safe. Maybe a little worse for wear, but it's nothing Joel can't fix with the things he has in the medicine cabinet in their bathroom.

It doesn't surprise him that Spencer didn't want him there, Joel knows he'd do the exact same thing had he been the one on the boardwalk, but it has him thinking all the same. He rummages through bottles, picks the two most likely to kill the pain from the burn, then tucks a small jar of salve under his arm so he can carry them all into the bedroom. He hands Spencer the small pink potion first, then sets the larger bottle on the bedside table, the clear liquid sloshing gently inside. He sets the salve down beside it, knowing he'll need to wait for both potions to kick in before he even thinks about applying that directly to Spencer's skin, but it isn't as if they have any other plans.

"Drink that one," he says, nodding at the pink bottle he's handed to Spencer. "Then wait about five minutes and drink the other." He sinks onto the bed beside him, looking at the burn curiously, his head tilted slightly. Reaching up, he impatiently brushes some hair from his eyes, thinking absently again about cutting it, but he's distracted both by Spencer's injuries and what he's been told to really dwell on it for long.

"It sounds like she'd lost control of her magic," he says, finally looking up at Spencer again. "But that usually doesn't happen without outside intervention." And it's dangerous. More dangerous than he wants to think on for very long, because if that's what happened, Spencer could have been hurt far worse than this. He could have been killed.

[doublethepain]

Spencer does what he's told without question, pouring the contents of the bottle into his mouth, a pleased hum at the surprisingly sweet taste of it as he swallows it down. One of the perks of marrying a witch, he thinks, is knowing that he'll always be well taken care of, though he knows that would be true with his husband had powers or not. If there's one person in this world Spencer trusts with his entire life, it's certainly Joel. They've been through so much together in such a short period of time--one year to see each other though near deaths and nightmares and panic attacks and demons and marriage and soon, a child of their own. Maybe it would sound like too much to some, but Spencer wouldn't change a thing. If living through all of that is exactly what has allowed him to be so happy and in love now, he won't complain one bit.

At Joel's suggestion of outside intervention, Spencer looks up at his husband with an arched eyebrow. "You think someone's doing that to her? God, that's horrible, do you-- Is there nothing that can be done, she just has to live like that until it stops? The way her body was bending when she was doubled over in pain, it was almost grotesque." He pauses, lowering his eyes and letting them linger on his left hand with a quiet but troubled sigh. "And the way she screamed, the last time I heard someone scream like that was in the lighthouse. It was me, when Mark-- when he broke my fingers."

He shudders at the memory, noting to himself that he ought to put some anise seed under his pillow tonight just as a precautionary measure, to ward off any nightmares that may push past the protective barrier he's been building in his mind to keep them out. The incident at the lighthouse had taken place nearly a year ago but some days, it still feels as fresh as if it'd only happened yesterday.

"Anyway," he continues, gaze flickering to Joel as Spencer offers a weak smile. "I just wish there was more I could to for her." He shifts awkwardly on the bed, wincing as he pushes himself up the mattress to stretch on his good side, elbow bent so he can prop his head up with his palm.

"Do you think it'll scar?" he asks, free hand hovering over the burn, feeling the heat that still radiates from it with morbid fascination. He can already sense the effects of the first potion, a strange but favorable feeling of calm spreading through him, taking his mind off the pain and refocusing it now on things like Joel's wildly long curls, longer than Spencer's ever seen them.

Even with the question of a scar still begging to be answered, he reaches his fingertips out toward his husband, grasping at empty air when really he just needs his husband's touch. "And do we need to get that hair cut before you tear it out on your own?"

[just_another]

"Not if you follow all my instructions perfectly," Joel answers with a little smile, though he doesn't know if he can actually promise that. It's just easier for him to address that than to think of Mark and all the horrible things he'd done to Spencer just to make sure Joel was in pain. The burn is bad enough that it might leave marks for at least a little while, but Joel thinks he can probably make sure that nothing is permanent. He sits down on the bed carefully, still looking at the burn as he reaches for the second bottle, rolling it back and forth between his hands as he considers what else Spencer has said. He's worried about the burn, but more than anything he's relieved Spencer is here and alive and safe. A burn can be dealt with and while Spencer's comfort is his primary concern, it's easier to be focused on that and something else when his anxiety level has gone down significantly.

"Here, take this one now," he says, holding the clear liquid toward Spencer as he leans down to get a closer look at the burn. The skin is pink and blistered and he knows better than to touch it now. The second potion will work wonders toward making it less painful, at which point Joel will move onto the salve, but not until Spencer tells him it's okay. Applying something directly to the burn is going to hurt no matter what he gives Spencer and he wants him to be prepared for it.

"The only way to help her is probably to trace back the source of whatever's being done," he says thoughtfully. "Unless I'm completely off based here and there's something else entirely going on. I've never seen anyone's magic just backfire on them in such a way, though, I can't see why it would happen. Even people who don't know what they are or what kind of things they can do never seem to have problems of that nature."

He's thinking of himself as a prince, but he's thinking of Caden, too. Apparently he's been a witch all along and hadn't been aware of how to do anything, how to control the powers he has, but he hasn't lost control in such a way either. It's possible, Joel supposes, but it's nothing he's ever seen.

"I don't know anything, though," he says, waving his hand as he waits for Spencer to drink the second potion. "I'm just making assumptions." And at the question about his hair, he shrugs and grins, brushing it back again. "Maybe before the baby starts to really lay into it, anyway. I can't imagine how much that must hurt."

[doublethepain]

"I don't know," Spencer says, smiling cheekily as he takes the bottle from Joel's outstretched hand and pours the contents down his throat. It tastes of lychee, reminiscent of that first happiness potion they'd made together before the first time they'd fallen into bed together, and the burn still stings a bit but most of the pain is already fading away and Spencer sighs softly at the relief of it. He knows that there's still the salve to worry about, that's going to hurt no matter what he does, but he's going to be ready for it now and at the very least, the potion will keep the direct application of it from hurting too much or too long.

"I quite like it when you pull my hair," he continues, his tone light and teasing, perhaps not suitable to the situation they've found themselves in this evening but Spencer prefers it to the alternative. He knows the burn is bad enough to be concerned about, and he'd be just as worried as Joel if his husband had been the one to come home like this; but he'll survive. This is manageable pain, which is a nice change from the sort he's experienced before, and really, it'd been his own fault.

If Joel is right, the woman on the boardwalk would have needed far more help than Spencer would ever have been able to provide and though it maybe shouldn't, knowing that makes him feel a bit better about the way he'd finally walked away. He'd wanted so badly to help her, and it's not that he has some sort of hero complex with fantasies of rescuing people in need on a daily basis, but she'd been alone in her pain and that is something he knows all about. Not anymore, of course, but for years he'd only had himself. He's sympathetic toward those who are the same way, and he's making a great deal of assumptions about the woman but the way she'd reacted--insisitng that he go, that nothing could be done, that he ought to leave her be--makes him think that he isn't necessarily wrong.

"I hope I get to see her again," he says, voice softening. He absently circles his thumb over the rim of the bottle, chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip. "I think I've seen her around town, but I wouldn't b able to tell you her name. If she'd stopped into Crossroads already, that'd at least be easier, the regulars have all been doing what I've asked and leaving Yelp reviews for us. Mira, Raleigh, Davin, Lara, they've all done it. I even saw one from Cosette and Roman, that customer who moved to town a couple months ago? They're all five stars, you know, we've very popular.


He wrinkles his nose, though an amused smile plays at his lips. "I think Coop missed the point, though, his review consisted solely of how handsome the two shop owners are. I just don't have the heart to correct him when he's only half-wrong." His smile widens, though it's mostly to compensate for the fact that he knows the salve needs to be done, he's just been stalling, and he sighs heavily as he points at it. "Be gentle with me?"

[just_another]

"Always," Joel says with a soft laugh, leaning in to press a kiss to Spencer's mouth before he reaches for the salve. It's not one of his own, it's one left behind by his mother, so it's more potent than anything he's made. The smell isn't exactly pleasant because Ellie will never forsake quality in favour of a decent smell, something she's given Joel a hard time about doing, but he's pointed out in return that it's good to have options. His salves smell better and can be used for minor injuries, cuts and bruises, little burns that don't need to really be worried about all that much. They work just fine in such cases and they don't make the patient's eyes water, which he thinks is a benefit even if his mother doesn't agree. Hers, though, might smell a little bit like it could peel the paint, but it works. It'll soothe the burn, making it easier for Spencer to sleep tonight, and it stimulates healing and cell regrowth in a way Joel has never been able to get his to do. He's sure the smell can't be blamed for that entirely, he's just not as good as his mother is yet and maybe he never will be, but he can true. He'll keep learning from her and from others and maybe eventually he won't need to beg her to leave things behind when she comes to visit.

Not that he's had to beg very hard. There's an entire magical baby first aid kit sitting in their bathroom as well, a gift from the shower. Joel knows she'd made it for him not because she thinks he's incapable but because she had known he would ask for it eventually. And it had been on his list, one of the things he wanted to accomplish before the baby was born, so he'd been quite happy to unwrap it and know that his mother would have put every effort, all her talents and the finest ingredients into making something he and Spencer can use for her first grandchild.

"Lie down," he says, spinning the lid off the jar and dipping two of his fingers into the mixture. It's thick and cool and Joel lets it warm on his hand for a moment before he even thinks about putting it on Spencer's skin. "And you can't tell me you're surprised that's the sort of review Coop left us. I'm not sure the last time he came in and actually bought anything." He's smiling as he says it, though, and he clearly doesn't mind at all. He's never once expected his friend to come into the store and pay for anything, has had a tendency to give books away more often than not and a lot of the time it was only through Lara's insistence that she pay for all the books he'd given her that he'd been able to pay his bills. That isn't the case anymore, only because Spencer has done such a great job making sure the store is actually accessible in a way Joel had never managed on his own. He has a lot to thank his husband for in so many ways.

"This is going to sting a little, but tell me if it hurts too much," he says as he leans forward, seated carefully on the bed beside Spencer. The salve has warmed significantly on his fingers and he carefully lowers them to the burn, coating the red, angry looking skin in a layer of pale blue ointment. No matter what, Spencer is going to have to be careful tonight because Joel thinks it's likely best they don't cover it yet, but he's hoping the salve will take care of most of the pain and at least make it easier for him to fall asleep. In the morning they should be able to see a significant improvement of the burn, but they have to get through this first.

He's as gentle as he can possibly be, smoothing the ointment over the entire area of the burn until he's satisfied and then he grabs a tissue off the bedside table and wipes his fingers clean before closing the jar once again. "How does that feel?" he asks. "Is it numbing it at all yet?"

[doublethepain]

His fingers dig into the blankets as soon as Joel starts to spread the salve over the burn, and he really does try to keep the whimper from sounding from his throat but in spite of his efforts, it still sounds. He keeps his head bowed, chin tucked to his chest as tears well in his eyes, more out of frustration than pain because the potions have done their jobs and the sting of the salve is quickly becoming more of a mild discomfort than anything else. It's knowing that it's his own fault this has happened that upsets him, knowing that he'd willingly put himself in danger when there are so many other options he could and should have turned to first.

"It feels..." Spencer trails off, unsure of how to answer because he feels quite a lot of things right now, he just isn't sure which emotion is leading. "You're right, the salve stings, but it's already fading." He says nothing more of himself, of his own thoughts, even though he knows Joel will be able to tell instantly that it isn't just the burn that's burdening him. He sighs, bringing a hand up to scrub at his face, careful not to shift so much that the salve gets on the sheets. He can't stop thinking of the woman at the boardwalk, of the fact that more likely than not, someone is actively tampering with her powers, and it makes Spencer sick because it reminds him of the demon.

The demon, which had nearly ruined their lives and had hurt his husband in so many ways, had only been overcome because the love he and Joel share had been stronger than its hatred, and he wonders if there's anyone in the woman's life who can help her in that way. There are so many people in the world who don't know love like Spencer knows it, who may never know just how powerful the right connection with the right person can be, and it makes his heart ache for them. He has yet to be controlled like that, to have his own mind steered by some outside force, and it's a heavy thing to realize that in a town like this, he should be grateful it hasn't happened.

With some effort, Spencer inches up the bed so that he can rest his head on his pillow, still on his side, and holds his hand out to beckon his husband to join him. He hadn't felt at all like he might have ended up worse than injured while he'd been at the boardwalk, in spite of the woman's insistence that she could very well get him killed, but now that he's home, now that the adrenaline of trying to help someone has left him, Spencer's mind is cataloging each awful way this night could have ended.

"I shouldn't have gotten involved," he says softly, draping an arm over Joel's stomach. "I should have run when she told me to run, I should have just come home to you and let someone more capable help her." Even as he says the words, he knows he couldn't have done that. He couldn't have walked away when he'd been the only one close enough to even offer his assistance, never mind the fact that he hadn't been able to actually provide her with any. A tear trickles down his cheek, and he lets his be caught by Joel's sleeve, letting out a shuddering breath. "Siren Cove is home, but it scares me sometimes. With you, with the baby coming, there are days that I wonder if we wouldn't be safer somewhere else. I don't want us to leave, but it seems like I have to remind myself more and more of why we should stay."

[just_another]

It takes Joel just a moment to put away the jar and to get undressed. Whatever else they might have had planned for the night has been forgotten and all he wants now is to make sure his husband is comfortable before they fall asleep. He'll lie here exactly like this, let Spencer use him as a pillow all night if that's how he's most comfortable. He props himself up and then carefully draws the blanket up toward Spencer's waist and no further, keeping the burn exposed to the air. It'll be good for it, it'll help the salve work and repair the skin, and hopefully by morning there will only be pink, sensitive skin leftover instead of burns and blisters. He wishes he could do more, he wishes he could just undo the entire process, make it so Spencer doesn't feel any pain at all, but he can't. That isn't where his power lies. Coop might be able to, but it's late enough now that he doesn't want to call his friend and he isn't sure Spencer would even let him anyway. He would probably insist he's fine, he doesn't need any more help, and so Joel just ducks his head and presses a kiss to Spencer's forehead instead.

"But you couldn't do that," he says. As much as it scares him that Spencer had gotten involved with something like that, he knows it's true. His husband is far too good a man to just walk away from a situation like that, no matter what sort of danger might be presented, and as much as he wishes Spencer hadn't been injured he just knows there's nothing else that could have been done in the situation. He had wanted to help, he hadn't wanted to leave her alone like that, and Joel understands. It worries him, but he understands. It's a little like the day he had the premonition, the way he'd just run toward the street without thinking, knowing there was no way he could just leave someone to be hit by a car.

And it had been the right choice. Frightening, yes. Dangerous, perhaps. But the right choice all the same.

"I know," he says and while he doesn't want to leave either, he'll do anything Spencer thinks is right in the end. It's a hard thing to even contemplate and he knows it would be a harder decision still to make, but he's right. Siren Cove has its own dangers, the kinds that other places don't have. Sirens willing to hurt people, witches willing to undo all their memories. Magic without any sort of restraint. He knows Nerium thinks it would be better to just let the witches take over and have free reign with their magic, but Joel couldn't disagree more. They're not about rules, they're not above the law. They're more capable of hurting people than most others and that needs to be monitored. They need to be held to the same standards at the rest of society and it frightens him that there are witches who obviously disagree with that.

"We can talk about it," he continues, tilting his head slightly to look down at Spencer. "I know I've talked about... well, leaving town isn't easy for me, but maybe we should talk about it more. I'd do anything to keep you and the baby safe and we... we can practice. Aoife offered us her place in New York for a weekend away before the baby is born. I was going to ask you what you thought of us doing that, but I think... I think we should go. Think of it as a trial run for me."

There's no way he'd move to New York City, not with how big and busy he knows it is, but there are other places in the world. They don't even have to stick to the United States. He's still a Canadian citizen and with Spencer as his husband he'd be welcome in the country as well. Their baby could be made a citizen with ease and while that's not something he'd ever imagined himself doing, he finds he isn't opposed to the idea either. It could be good for them to get away from this town, no matter how much of a home it is.

[doublethepain]

It shouldn't surprise him at this point that Joel would say such a thing, that his husband would be so willing as to place himself so far out of his comfort zone just because Spencer thinks it might be a good idea; and it doesn't surprise him, not really, but it floods him with guilt and affection alike because just as Joel would do anything to keep their family safe, Spencer would do anything to keep his husband from feeling that same sort of panic he'd felt on the cruise. He knows that ultimately, they can't stay here because it's uncomfortable or frightening to leave, that they have to look at the big picture when it comes to raising their family because it won't just be about them anymore. They'll have a little boy or girl to worry about, they'll be responsible for a future not their own, and if staying in Siren Cove appears to jeopardize that future in any way, they'll have no choice but to leave.

The idea of it is daunting, especially when he's spent most of his life in this house. It's the house that had been left to him, though haunted by dark memories that will never quite fade away, and he knows that others may have left it a long time ago but for Spencer, it will always be home. Siren Cove is where he'd grown up, where he'd made and lost friends, where his entire life has been changed over and over. He'd lost his family to this place but then, he'd found Joel and there's no sense in trying to compare the two but there's a very distinct part of him that understands that if he and his family hadn't moved here, his mother and brother would probably still be alive, and Spencer would never have met the love of his life.

Maybe, a small voice in the back of his head tells him, maybe he and Joel still would have met. They're meant for each other, after all, destined in some way to protect each other from the dangers of this world, to love each other so wholly and completely that it would be impossible to even consider a life without one another now that they share one. But there's no danger of losing each other, at least not to anything within their control, so Spencer decides to let himself take a step away from it, to take a deep breath and remind himself that even though it's worrying him, this isn't something they have to decide right this second. They can talk about it, just like Joel has said, and maybe they'll be talking about it on and off for a very long time but regardless of their decision, Spencer is confident that together, they'll make the right one.

The suggestion of a trip to New York makes it easier to take the rest off his mind. "A trial run," he repeats, an amused smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I think I like the sound of that. Are we actually going to leave Aoife's place at any point during this weekend getaway or is what I'm sure is very fine Coombs-worthy decor the only sight we'll be seeing?" He's teasing, of course, Spencer has never been to New York City but he's always wanted to visit the museums and the parks. His brother had gone once with his friends, and Spencer had been invited along but declined because he'd known he would be uncomfortable with anyone beyond Dane. Sometimes he regrets it, thinks that he should have taken advantage of the chance to spend more time with his brother when he could, but he can make up for it now. Leaving town isn't as difficult for him as it is for Joel, but he thinks Dane would be proud of him for going somewhere so different. It would be good for him and his husband both, he thinks.

"I'd like to go," he says, nodding slowly, glancing down at the burn only because he's noticed that it doesn't sting as terribly as it had a moment ago. "When should we schedule it? We don't have much time life before the baby, so I suppose we'd better decide quickly."

[just_another]

"I was thinking museums, Central Park, things like that, but if all you want is to spend a weekend inside that's sure to be a pretty lavish apartment, I'm sure we can arrange that, too," Joel teases with a laugh, but he ducks his head and presses a kiss against Spencer's hair, resting there for a moment. Besides the cruise, he's never really been anywhere and the thought of leaving Siren Cove for a city like New York still is a little scary, but if there's anyone he's willing to go anywhere for, it's Spencer. If there's one person in the world he knows would be able to help him through any panic he might feel, it's his husband. The fact that he has a hard time leaving town has been something that's embarrassed Joel a fair bit over the years. He's never had a wide circle of friends, but he's always found himself making excuses to stay in Siren Cove when invited elsewhere. He'd always felt stupid and childish, like there was something wrong with him that he couldn't control himself enough to get more than a few miles beyond the town borders, but he'd done a fair bit of reading over the years and he understands it isn't his fault. It isn't something necessarily within his control and while that doesn't make it less embarrassing, he isn't ashamed. Not here.

"Sooner rather than later is probably for the best," he says. "Aoife said it's open to us any time, I just have to let her know. She won't be going there herself until near the end of June and that's too close to Erin's due date for me to feel comfortable being anywhere but here. Maybe in the next few weeks? Closer to the end of May, that way I can be sure you're all healed up and ready to visit every last museum we can find."

He says museum, but the way he's smiling at Spencer makes it clear he has other ideas that he needs his husband to be healed up for. It's not that they need to go away anywhere in order to spice up their physical relationship, but Joel kind of likes the idea of spending a few night somewhere they'd never otherwise be able to afford. Some kind of special treat just for the two of them. It was incredibly kind of Aoife to offer and Joel very much wants to take her up on it. They don't need it, but he thinks they deserve it all the same. They work hard and they're good people, they deserve something nice to treat themselves with.

He shifts a little when he mentions the burn, looking down at it. The skin seems to have lost some of the redness and although it's still blistered, the fact that they've faded to an angry pink makes Joel feel a little better. It won't happen overnight, but he's confident he can heal Spencer in a few days without too much trouble and no complications.

"I think you'll be glad to know we won't have to take you to the hospital," he says. "I was worried we might have to go anyway, but it looks like the potions and the salve are doing the trick. You shouldn't have much trouble with it over the next few days." He would be sensitive and probably a little sore, but that was to be expected and Joel could help with that, too.

[doublethepain]

"I think you're likely the one who ought to be glad about that, considering I would have done nothing but adamantly refused medical attention from anyone else." Spencer's tone is light and teasing, but he knows Joel is fully aware of just how much he hates going to the hospital. Neither of them are particularly keen on it--granted, he doesn't think anyone is keen on emergency rooms--but in his case, they probably would have done quite a bit of waiting just to be told to put a weaker sort of salve on it and maybe be given something for the pain. As it is, the potions and what Joel has put on the burn just now are probably working much better and faster than any non-magical thing possibly could, and Spencer is very content with that.

Still, if Joel had insisted, Spencer would have given in eventually. It would have been with a lot of complaining and heavy sighing and eye rolling, but he would have done it because he hates that he's made his husband worry about this in the first place. He still feels foolish for involving himself in affairs that have nothing to do with him, in magic he has no defense against, but just as he and Joel both understand, there's nothing else he could have done. Spencer isn't the bleeding heart type, at least not for those who aren't especially close to him, but he'd like to believe that he's a good person. If someone is in desperate need of help, Spencer is willing to do what he can. He hadn't been of much help this time, of course, and he'd paid for that; but the only thing he regrets is making his husband concerned for his well-being, both before and after arriving back home.

"Anyway, this is better. This will get me healed up for whatever it is the museum will require of me in the city." He tilts his head back to smirk up at Joel before biting down on his lip, sitting up a little bit more with noticeably less pain than when he'd first lowered himself onto the bed, and twists just slightly so he can comfortably rest his hand on Joel's chest, fingers absently tracing small shapes. "You know what else is in New York City? FAO Schwarz. Think of all that we could ship back here for the baby."

It's only half a joke. Spencer is quite sure they have everything they need and then some, especially after all the gifts they'd received at the baby shower. The lists he and Joel had created have been checked, then checked again, and they have the most important essentials crossed off already but now, Spencer's thinking of rocking horses and star kits and elaborate sciences sets that Joel couldn't possibly say no to, even though they're not meant for newborns to use. It's best to prepared for the future, though, isn't it? A few years from now, those sets may very well be obsolete, nobody knows and then where would that leave them? Science set-less and disappointed, that's where, and so, Spencer already has his argument ready for when he's gathered several in a cart for them to buy while they're there.

"Ooh, and I've read about a literary tour that could be fun. It's practically a pub crawl but every bar is one that served as a frequent visiting place for various playwrights and novelists." He grins, arching a brow. "We could share a shot of a different whiskey at each one to make it our very own."

[just_another]

There's a moment of concern while he watches Spencer move on the bed, but it seems like the pain really has diminished and when he's comfortable again, Joel allows himself to relax, grinning up at the ceiling when Spencer mentions FAO Schwarz. Somehow he's not surprised at all that that's the store his husband chooses to focus on and he knows he's teasing, but there's also probably a bit part of him that isn't teasing either. The store would be an incredible experience and while they certainly have all their necessities, he does have to admit that there's probably one or two exceptional items they'd be able to pick up at the store that they can't find in Siren Cove. Besides, no matter what he likes to say and no matter how many things he's actually returned to the store, he really would do anything Spencer wanted him to and that includes buying their baby ridiculously extravagant things he or she won't even be able to use for several years.

He's sure there's still going to be a moment. The two of them standing in the store over something they don't need, both of them delivering their points and he's sure there will be people looking at them in amusement, somehow knowing it's almost an act, that they're doing this only because they know they've both been waiting for it. And perhaps it's silly, but he loves so much that he can predict an incident like that, he loves knowing they'll both find a weird sense of enjoyment in having an experience like that, Spencer putting things into a cart and Joel taking them back out. It's become a game more than anything and it's one he's discovered he very much loves playing.

Of course, when it comes to Spencer, Joel loves every last bit of their lives together, so it doesn't surprise him at all that this has become just one more thing to enjoy.

"I think we might be able to manage a trip there," he says, his lips twitching up into a brief smirk before Spencer mentions the literary tour and Joel's eyes grow wide. Of course New York City would have something like that, but given that he's only ever lived in small towns without much of anything, the very thought of being able to have an experience like that sends Joel's heart racing. It sounds interesting and educational and exciting in a way he expects a lot of people wouldn't necessarily understand, but of course Spencer knows about it and of course he's suggesting it and it's just one part of why Joel loves him so much. His husband knows him better than anyone else ever could and he's the only person Joel knows who would be interested in something like that. With a grin, he ducks his head and kisses Spencer once, maybe a little too hard given that he's just been injured, but he can't seem to help himself.

"How many bars is it?" he asks, nudging his nose gently against Spencer's cheek. "Just how drunk and ridiculous do you think we would be by the end of it?" But the very thought of getting to be drunk and ridiculous with his amazing husband in New York City is just one more thing Joel is finding himself very much looking forward to. They can do whatever they want there, be whoever they want. No one will know them, no one will say a word and they'll be able to spend all their time together doing exactly what they want without thinking about any responsibilities. And if one of those things is getting so drunk they have to support each other back to the apartment, then he thinks he'd like that very much.

[doublethepain]

Spencer can feel Joel's heartbeat pick up under his hand, and he has to work extra hard to keep himself from grinning too smugly because it's not as if there's anyone in this room he's trying to impress with how well he knows his husband. Much of what they've come to know about each other remains very well kept between only them, little details that others wouldn't know just by looking at them like how invested Joel gets in that dancing show or that Spencer quite likes putting on a Beyonce album to help wake him up in the morning. Their tastes can be different but at the same time, they're so accepting of each other that regardless of what their preferences may be, they're always still in sync.

He hasn't thought of that tour in ages, it's something he'd read about a few years back after he'd declined Dane's invitation to the city, and Spencer remembers the pain of regret he'd felt at not being able to do something that sounded like it would suit him so well just because he'd known his brother would be the only one willing to do it with him--and he wouldn't have wanted a pity companion. He loves his brother very much, had in life and always will in memory, but Dane hadn't been the type who'd appreciate a literary tour, which had been perfectly fine. It's one of the reasons Spencer had opted not go.

With Joel, though, he's found someone he can always count on to be willing to try these sorts of things with him. For some people, it might not seem like such an extraordinary adventure but then again, not every married couple is made up of two bookshop owners, one a former librarian. That knowledge warms him so deeply, more than he could ever really explain, and it's not just that Joel is going to be happy to go with him on this tour; it's that his husband doesn't do things with him just to humor him. It's this going to FAO Schwarz isn't just going to be enjoyable for Spencer, it's going to be enjoyable for both of them because they'll be looking at all the things they could buy just to make their child smile and that is more than enough motivation. They work well together, Spencer loves that they do, and he loves even more that what they do in New York won't be subject to any prying eyes of Siren Cove because there's nothing more he wants before the baby arrives than to have quality time with his husband without having to even think a little bit about anyone else.

They'll leave any burdens they have at the door, he decides, they won't carry any of that with them on this trip because it's a chance to connect with each other on an entirely different level. They'd gone on that cruise, yes, but it had turned out to be catastrophic and even then, a majority of the passengers had consisted of people they knew. They won't be familiar with anyone on the streets of New York and while Spencer anticipates being overwhelmed by the business of the city, he's growing ever more fond of the idea that what he and Joel get up to will truly stay between them if they so wish it.

"Only seven bars," Spencer answers, doe-eyed as he looks up at Joel. "We've shared an entire bottle before, I don't know that seven shots of whiskey will do us all too much harm." He pauses, still trying to hold back a smile. "Maybe about halfway through, we ought to start making them doubles. Visiting all those places with you and then going home a bit messy with you is already something I'm very much looking forward to doing."

[just_another]

"Ah, only seven," he says with a laugh and he can see the way Spencer is looking at him, his eyes all wide and innocent, and while Joel knows very well that he's being manipulated by that expression, he doesn't make it one bit. There's not a malicious bone in Spencer's body when it comes to the two of them and any gentle manipulating his husband might do with his eyes or his smile is done with the teasing knowledge that it's happening. And Joel has never been quite so happy to have someone give him a big, wide-eyed expression as is when Spencer does it. All it does is serve to remind him of the things his husband wants the most and there's nothing Joel wants more in the world than to give him those things.

"I think that sounds like a lot of fun," he decides, looking at Spencer fondly. "I think I'd very much like to get that drunk with you in New York, visit those bars and then stumble back to the apartment where I can debauch you in every possible way I can think of. That was always the end game, wasn't it?" He's both teasing and he isn't, and as he looks down at Spencer his expression softens into something else, something fond and happy.

Reaching up, he pushes some of Spencer's hair back, then smooths his thumb over the ridge of his cheekbone. Not a day goes by when he doesn't think of how lucky he is, but often it's because Spencer knows him so well or has done something for him that's so kind or so sweet that Joel's reminded all over again just how special their relationship is. And not a day goes by when he doesn't think of how deeply attracted he is to his husband, but moments like this still throw him off a little. Moments when he looks down at Spencer and sees his big eyes, the soft fullness of his mouth, the sharp angle of his jaw and is stunned by how absolutely beautiful this man is.

Joel has no idea how every single person in this town isn't utterly seething with jealousy every time they think that he's the one who got to marry Spencer Waters. He has no idea how anyone is ever cruel to him, how anyone could ever think poorly of him. He has no idea how the rest of the town wasn't clamouring to develop a relationship with this man, but he's extremely grateful he's the one Spencer chose. Sometimes it still floors him that he gets to do this, that he gets to come home and go to bed and wrap his arms around Spencer and hold him close.

"You are so incredibly gorgeous," he says, his smile hitching higher again when he realizes he's been quiet for a long period of time, just staring down at Spencer's face. "I mean, I know this, I see you every day and I know this, but sometimes I just look at you and I'm just... I'm blown away by you. The big puppy dog eyes you're pulling on me right now definitely help."