he's beauty and he's grace [closed for joel, dated for 1/19]

[doublethepain]

A week of having powers hasn't been as distressing as Spencer might have thought, though he wouldn't say he's enjoying it. He's still fretting a bit over how long it might last, whether this is something he's going to really have to train himself to deal with, because as much as he thinks he's generally quite ordinary without them, Spencer isn't sure that he'd want to keep the powers permanently. It's invasive, his power, of course it is, he's able to hear people's thoughts no matter how much he doesn't want to or how private they may be. He understands now what Joel means when he says he has to try not to read people's auras because Spencer doesn't want to know that any given person he passes on the street has just had sex or finds him attractive or can't pay their bills this month.

All these things are on his mind as he blinks his eyes open and stretches out in bed, the sun shining through the curtains and casting shadows at all the right angles on his husband's face. He smiles softly before glancing at the clock on their nightstand, sighing to himself when he sees how early it is. There's still a couple hours yet before he has to get out of bed, before he and Joel have to walk Huxley to the store to set up for the day, and he rolls over on his stomach so he can rest his cheek on Joel's chest.

Something feels strange this morning, something he can't quite put his finger on, but he lets his eyes drift back shut because it doesn't matter right now. He can worry about it when the alarm goes off and their day really begins. For now, he's content to pretend that everything is normal--well, as normal as things can be when it comes to living in this town--and that he's powerless as he should be and their biggest worry, which isn't even a worry at all, is what size the baby's growing to be this week.

Everything else, Spencer's happy to let wait.

Comments

[doublethepain]

Later, it'll occur to Spencer that they'd gone from zero to sixty, from painstakingly horrified over the fact that he'd woken up in an entirely different body to more than happy to be using this opportunity to explore uncharted territory in their relationship, but while it may seem a bit odd to someone outside of the two of them, Spencer won't be able to say he's surprised. The second Joel had realized it was really him, the second he'd seen Spencer's aura and that unmistakable column of energy between them, Spencer had felt a relief so strong that it'd nearly knocked him over. The initial panic of discovering that he's a woman hadn't lasted long, if only because of the way Joel's been touching him, and Spencer isn't sure if he'll be this calm about the situation in an hour or two hours or tomorrow but the important thing is that right now, he's with his husband. He's with Joel, who loves him more than anyone has ever loved him, and Spencer's body still has tremors coursing through it after the orgasm that had shaken him so when Joel finally pulls his fingers from him--with a moan of protest, for the record, even though Spencer already knows what's next--and lines his cock up at Spencer's entrance, he isn't even sure anymore whether all of this is real or simply a very intense and remarkable dream.

The push of Joel's cock reminds him that this is, indeed, real, and he's promised to tell Joel if it hurts but he isn't sure that the pressure he's feeling between his legs really counts as pain. It's similar to what he'd felt during their first time together, though Joel slips into him much more easily now than he had then, and Spencer knows this is a different kind of tight than he usually is but still, the feel of the first inch of his husband's cock slowly pressing into him makes him gasp, and he reaches out to grip Joel's shoulders as his jaw drops. "W--Wait, oh god," he breathes, trying to steady his breaths and focus his eyes on Joel's. Everything looks blurry right now but that doesn't matter yet, all that matters is the fact that his husband is fucking him while he's in a female body and it's all so new that he's just still trying to adjust.

"It doesn't hurt," he assures quickly, not wanting Joel to think this has all been a mistake because it hasn't, it doesn't hurt, he just needs half a moment. "It's just-- I'm-- I'm sensitive." He knows Joel doesn't necessarily need the explanation, he'd be willing to give Spencer as much time as he needs, but he wants to make sure that Joel doesn't pull out of him. Instead, he swallows hard and spreads his legs further, inviting Joel deeper inside of him and shuddering as he feels the next inch push in, then the next and the next, and he's always been more than satisfied with the generous length of his husband's cock but Spencer is rendered speechless now by just how unbelievably deep Joel can sink into him like this. He could come again right now, he thinks, and he lowers one hand between them to rub small circles at his clit the way Joel had been doing as he watches the space between his legs until Joel has bottomed out. It's sensory overload, he can't stop clenching and loosening his muscles but judging by the look on Joel's face, his husband doesn't seem to mind all that much.

It won't be the first time--nor the last--that Joel has made him come more than once in a day but knowing that he could have one after another without any real cap to speak of is exhilarating, it's liberating, it means he doesn't have to hold back because when he's in his regular body, Spencer always has to make sure that he doesn't come too quickly. It's never been a problem, he and Joel almost always come nearly at the same, but he can release himself of whatever tension he might be holding onto now. For Joel's sake, not just his own, Spencer knows they have to move relatively slowly but then again, perhaps that's a good thing. They should take their time with this, especially when it's like they're sharing a first time together all over again.

He tilts his head up so he can catch Joel's lips in a kiss, swirling his tongue around his husband's as they stay like this for a moment, letting Spencer adjust to the way Joel has filled him--and he's always loved that feeling, has always loved the way they fit so perfectly together like they were just made to be together, and that hasn't gone away with this body--and he takes Joel's bottom lip between his teeth, leaning back until his releases it with a soft smile. "This is perfect," he murmurs, and he means it. The way this morning has gone has only reasserted the well-known fact that Joel will always be there for him, no other option is even worth considering. "You and I, we're perfect, and I love you so much."

[just_another]

It feels like everything is shaking. Every last muscle in his body is trembling and Joel doesn't know how he has any sort of control over himself anymore. It feels like a first time all over again, something they can have together, something no one else will ever get to experience and he feels a strangled sob rising in his throat as he realizes exactly what he's doing. It isn't the first time he's been inside Spencer and it won't be the last -- it might not even be the last like this -- but because it's something so new, it's meaningful, too. It's always meaningful when they're intimate, but Joel knows there are times when they're in a hurry, when they only have a little bit of time together and they want to make something of it. There are times when he pushes Spencer against their closed bedroom door and sinks down to his knees so he can take him into his mouth and get him off quickly and relatively quietly. They don't do it often when they don't have the extra time to spend, but now and then it's fun, although they usually end up laughing, breathless and satisfied. Joel loves those moments as much as he loves anything else between them. They're still important, they speak to the level of comfort they've found with one another and he knows that's not the sort of thing that everyone will have in their life. He knows it's special.

But this. He isn't even sure where to begin. Spencer's legs spread and he's touching himself and slowly, ever so slowly, Joel sinks into him. He's trying so hard to be careful, to take his time, to really care for his husband and show him that he'll always be here no matter what, he'll always take care of him, and he groans softly as he settles into Spencer and then just stays there. He can feel the muscles inside of Spencer tightening around him and he groans again, ducking his head, having to close his eyes just so he isn't overwhelmed. Later, when he'll have time to think about it, he'll wonder if he finds Spencer so incredibly beautiful like this just because he's Spencer or if a woman walking down the street with this face and body would have the same effect on him. It's a combination of both, he thinks, he'd think a woman who looked like this was quite beautiful, but he wants Spencer this badly because he's Spencer, because he's still very much the man Joel has fallen in love with.

Sinking into the kiss, he keeps his eyes closed, one arm braced beside Spencer, holding himself up just enough so that he isn't putting all his weight on Spencer's body. It normally isn't something he worries about very much, because although Spencer is thinner than he is, he's much stronger than people realize and while Joel is usually gentle with him, he never treats him like he might be breakable. And he's trying not to now, he knows such a thing isn't exactly a turn on and he doesn't want Spencer to feel like he's being treated any differently, but he has to. He has to be careful. He's so much bigger than Spencer is now and he wouldn't have even realized it before, but now, in this moment, pressed inside him, hovering over him, he's very aware of the size difference between the two of them.

"It is," he murmurs in agreement and it's arrogant maybe, but he believes it. They're perfect for each other. They aren't perfect people, there's no such thing, but they're perfect for each other. Whatever bumps in the road may come, he knows they'll weather them together. There's nothing in this world that could make him give up the best thing that's ever happened to him and he hopes Spencer knows that. He laughs softly, a huff of air, realizing of course Spencer knows it, because he can hear every single thought that drifts through Joel's mind. None of what he thinks is a secret, not right now, but he's comfortable with that. Spencer is the only person in the world Joel would be comfortable letting that deep inside of him.

Carefully, his lips brushing Spencer's cheek and then the edge of his jaw, he rolls his hips. He pulls back a little, then thrusts into him, getting it shallow and slow, making sure not to move too quickly or with too much force. Maybe the time will come that he can or maybe Spencer will go back to his regular body so soon that they'll never have the chance, but for now, his thrusts are careful, slow and controlled. For now.

[doublethepain]

Spencer wants to keep his eyes open, he really does. He wants to watch the way Joel's expression changes as he sinks further into him, filling Spencer in an entirely new way that feels so different than what he's used to when they've made love before. Joel's careful, as always, and desperate as Spencer is for more friction, a faster pace, he knows this is how they need to start. He doesn't want to overestimate this body, what it can take, because as easily as Joel had been able to slip inside him, Spencer can feel how tight he is around his husband's cock. So he lets his eyes flutter shut, letting himself be overwhelmed by the sensation of Joel gently thrusting into him because right now, this feels right. Maybe Joel will be able to fuck him with more urgency later, maybe Spencer will change back to his regular self before they have a chance to get that far, but it doesn't matter because regardless of what body he is, Spencer knows they both feel like they're always going to fit perfectly with each other. There's no question of that, even when Spencer can't read Joel's mind.

Last week, when he'd first gotten the power, he'd been panicked, forgetting at first that he'd taken the potion because-- well, it simply hadn't been the first thing to cross his mind in the midst of coping with the fact that he'd suddenly developed powers. He'd been lucky enough to be alone with Joel in Crossroads at the time and the first indication had occurred when he'd glanced up to see Joel staring intently at his laptop while searching for inventory, curious as to why his husband was saying every title he scrolled past out loud until he'd realized Joel's lips weren't moving. His husband had been remained more calm in the face of that than he had this morning, though Spencer can hardly blame Joel for that, but what had kept him most grounded was the lack of Joel's scrambling to cover up anything he wouldn't Spencer to hear.

In the past week, the few people he's admitted to gaining this power to had responded in one of a couple ways: they'd either found a nearly immediate reason to excuse themselves from his presence or they'd tried to appear unaffected by the revelation while their minds worked overtime, often accompanied by a series of oh, god-type thoughts that had only made Spencer feel that much more awkward about everything. It's exactly why he hadn't told very many people at all, though he realizes that's not entirely fair; but leave it to Joel to be the one person who'd been fine with it because he hadn't had anything to hide in the first place.

"You-- You feel so--" Spencer tilts his head back against the mattress, exposing his neck and lifting his chest as he rolls his hips to meet Joel's thrusts as his husband starts a slow but steady rhythm. He hadn't known what to expect, how it would compare to having sex in his regular body, but he finds that it really isn't comparable at all. The feeling of Joel's cock inside him now is very different than what he knows, but it's a good kind of different, a very pleasurable kind of different that makes Spencer feel considerably better about his predicament. There are no words for this, he thinks, no way to properly explain how he feels right now. He's overwhelmed with love for his husband but that's not all, it's accompanied with a warmth he feels from where Joel's pushing into him to his clit to deep within his belly that travels all the way up to his chest.

If he'd been asked a year ago whether he thought he'd ever be in a relationship like this, Spencer would have laughed at the suggestion. He's never found himself particularly unlovable but his romantic life had simply been so non-existent that he'd been blind to anyone who might have shown even the slighest bit of interest. He doesn't think it's a coincidence that all of that had changed once he'd met Joel. The world had seen fit to keep Spencer waiting for this man and it'd been more than worth it. To be here now with his husband moving within him, pressing kisses against his skin, and mumuring his name, Spencer is more than content. This is the only place he's meant to be.

[just_another]

It's different. It's incredibly different. It isn't better or worse, it's simply not the sort of thing that can be compared and the only thing Joel can settle on is that it's different. It feels amazing, though that isn't the slightest bit surprising, not when everything he and Spencer do together feels incredible. They just seem to fall into it, to understand each other, and there's no reason for that to have changed now. Spencer's body is different, certainly, but he's still intrinsically Spencer in every way that really matters. He still understands Joel, he still knows him better than anyone else has ever known him, he's still the same person. He still laughs the same and his eyes are the same and the very essence of who he is remains the same and Joel knows nothing can ever change their marriage so significantly that they wouldn't be comfortable with each other.

"You're so..." He hesitates, his hips rolling, pushing a little deeper into Spencer this time and he's still being careful, but he can feel this body adjusting for him, letting him in. Sliding his hand down Spencer's side, he slips his hand under his ass, lifting him just a little and it changes the angle and Joel nearly stutters to a stop. But he keeps thrusting into him, pressing deeper each time, a strangled sort of moan catching in his throat as he tries to decide if he can say the thing he'd been about to say before stopping himself. If it's the sort of thing Spencer will want to hear or if maybe it will make him uncomfortable, which is the last thing in the world Joel wants. He'll do anything to avoid it, especially now, because he never wants Spencer to associate the times they're being intimate with something that doesn't feel good.

But he wants Spencer to know, no matter what comes of this, no matter what he looks like, Joel will always love him and, not only that, will always be attracted to him. "You're gorgeous like this," he breathes, whispering the words against Spencer's throat. "You're still incredibly gorgeous, Spencer, you have no idea." And he can't know, of course. Joel hasn't exactly given him time to look in a mirror, not when he'd gone from being terrified and thinking someone had done something awful to him to realizing what was happening, realizing what he could do like this, the way he could touch Spencer just to make him understand that nothing will ever change how he feels. But it's true all the same. Spencer has always been beautiful and nothing has changed just because his body has.

"You're so... god, you're..." But his words, what he had of them for a moment, are all but gone now. He's thrusting a little harder, using his hand under Spencer's ass to lift him and tilt him a little, bringing their bodies closer together still and all Joel knows is that this is the place he's meant to be. No matter what, no matter what body Spencer is in, no matter what he looks like, this is where he's meant to be because he's never felt like this about anyone. He's never been so loved, so trusted, so completely at peace, and nothing has changed. This is still Spencer and Joel is still home.

[doublethepain]

Spencer has never looked in a mirror and thought of himself as particularly attractive. In a town like this, filled to the brim with people who often seem to appear ethereal in their beauty, he hasn't found much reason to consider himself much more than average. On occasion, his brother would nudge him as they walked down the street together and murmur that someone passing by had given him a visual seal of approval, but Spencer would only shake his head in denial and roll his eyes because frankly, it hadn't mattered. Being paid attention like that could only ever lead to reddening cheeks and unstoppable stammering, very much like what had occurred when he'd realized his interest in Joel. It's when his husband tells him things like this, that he's gorgeous, beautiful, perfect, and only when his husband tells him that Spencer believes it.

It hardly matters to him now what other people think when they look at him, whether they find him pleasing or not to look at, and he's caught snippets of thoughts throughout the past week that have shown him that perhaps he's a bit more ignorant of the way he's regarded than he might have thought but Joel's opinion is still the only one he cares about. His husband loves him, Spencer doesn't need to read his mind to be sure of that, it's been proven in every single word, look, and gesture over the past two hundred and forty-eight days. Joel doesn't love him because he's a man, he just loves him, and that means more to Spencer than anything else ever could.

There is no proper response for what Joel says, he thinks, Spencer doesn't know where to begin, so he nips lightly at his husband's neck instead, smiling softly against his skin as they move in perfect harmony. They've had no practice like this together and yet, it still feels so right, so much like they're simply meant to be doing this by virtue of the fact that they're Spencer and Joel. He rakes his nails down the length of Joel's back until he reaches his ass, practically gasping for air as his eyes fly open when Joel lifts him and changes the angle of his thrusts. He can feel his husband, feel how deep Joel is inside of him, and it feels like every last hair on his body is standing on end from how electric Joel's touch is, how desperate Spencer is to never have him stop doing this.

There's no telling how long he'll be like this, whether he'll change back to his regular body today or tomorrow or next week or next month, and though that last possibility strikes a nerve in him, he's far too lost in the sudden shocks of pleasure pulsing through him when Joel's cock seems to reach that one particular spot inside him, hitting it over and over again until Spencer has to let go of his ass as his toes curl and he has fistfuls of blankets. "Joel, please," he whines, lifting his hips as best he can while still in Joel's grasp to meet each thrust with a little extra force. "Please, I-- I want--" He wants everything, wants more, wants Joel to make love to him and fuck him all at once, and Spencer thinks his mind must be starting to unravel because he can barely make sense of words anymore, they aren't coming to him like they should. Even that, though, isn't abnormal when he's naked with his husband, it's a response he's grown quite accustomed to because Joel knows exactly how to undo him, even without ever having to take his clothes off.

"Wanna ride you," he manages to mutter through a moan, fixing his eyes on Joel's. They may not get another chance, not in this body, and he wants to push the experience as far as he can while they can.

[just_another]

For several seconds, Joel is so lost in how good it feels to be inside Spencer like this that he doesn't register what he's said. He thrusts into him again, still taking his time, not going slow, exactly, but allowing them both to enjoy this instead of rushing through it. Because while he doesn't have a plethora of experience with other people, he knows what Spencer sounds like when he's enjoying something and even though his voice is different, the sounds are still the same, and he knows this feels good for Spencer. He knows he's doing something right, even if he couldn't tell anyone what that something was. All that matters in the end is that they both enjoy themselves and he's rolling his hips again when he actually hears what Spencer has said to him and he has to fight back a startled sort of groan. Having Spencer on top of him is one of his favourite things ever, if only because he has the chance to really look at his husband like that. To see the length of his body, the expanse of his chest, the way the muscles in his shoulders and arms shift, and the light on his face. It gives Joel a perfect view of everything and now he's being offered the chance to look at Spencer like this, to see him like that, and he has to close his eyes and will the visual away or be in danger of everything ending much too soon.

When he opens his eyes again, he presses his knee into the bed, using the grip he has on Spencer as leverage to ease them around without having to pull out of him. It helps that Spencer is so light now, that Joel can move him without any trouble at all, and he holds tightly to his waist for a moment, marvelling at how much smaller Spencer's waist is like this. "God, you..." But he doesn't know what to say, as usual. Instead he just turns them, stretching out on the bed under his husband and he has no idea how long he's going to last when he can see everything, but Spencer wants this and he does, too. And he can never deny Spencer anything, he can never say no to him and he loves seeing him like this anyway. It's as much for him as it is for Spencer, something he's sure his husband is well aware of.

And he'd meant what he'd said earlier with complete sincerity. Spencer is still just as gorgeous as he always is. His body is smaller, softer, rounder, but Joel slides his hands over the edges of his hips, holding onto his waist and he still can't believe he's the one Spencer wants. It seems so surreal to think someone as incredible as this wants anything to do with him, but he knows it now. And he believes it completely. They've been through so much together, too much for Joel to doubt their love even for a second, and this only proves to him that he'll love Spencer no matter what. He'd fallen in love with a man, but it's so much more than that, so much bigger than just what he is physically. Joel loves him, all of him, and nothing can change that. Nothing.

"Spencer," he breathes, rolling his hips again, thrusting up into him slowly. He can do more than just look at him from this position, he realizes, he can touch him. He can touch Spencer absolutely everywhere, he's all laid out right here in front of Joel and his gaze drifts from his face, down the soft edges of his collarbone, down over his breasts, and then he's reaching up, one hand still holding to Spencer's waist and the other sliding over his breast. He's so warm under Joel's hands, his skin soft and smooth, unlike anything Joel has ever felt before, and he sweeps his thumb over Spencer's nipple, holding onto him, holding onto his waist, unwilling to ever let him go. "Spencer, god, I love you. I love you so much."

[doublethepain]

Everything, every last part of him, feels like it's letting off sparks. Joel rolls them easily, and it's only a reminder of how much bigger his husband is than him now. Joel's always been strong, has always looked strong, but despite what people might assume about him, Spencer can hold his own against his husband well enough--except on the occasions that he simply doesn't want to do such a thing, which is most of the time they're in bed together, if he's honest. He likes it when Joel handles him, is maybe a little less careful with him some nights than others, but he knows that's only because of the trust they have in each other. With someone else, it might be frightening to find bruises left on his hips or marks left on his skin that he's just barely able to cover with a shirt the next day; but with Joel, it's different, which can hardly come as a surprise anymore.

He's gentler with this body than he is with Spencer's regular one, but it's not so careful that it seems like he thinks Spencer might break. It's true that his body is significantly softer now, curvier, his skin impeccably untouched and smooth and sensitive to the way Joel's fingers brush over it, but he would hate for Joel to think that he has to hold back in some way. They're never more open with each other than when they're making love, he thinks, even without the extra addition of his ability to read minds. They don't need words here, bared for each other and being the most intimate they can possibly be, and with those thoughts it mind, Spencer lets out a whimpered gasp as Joel's cock pumps into him at just the right spot. He's dizzy with the need to come again, entirely unsure of where he wants his hands to be as he brings one down to rub a finger over his clit again, knowing very well that his husband is looking, and the other to brace against Joel's chest as he bounces a little faster, a little harder.

A strangled groan escapes him and his eyes widen as his head falls back from the pleasure that shoots through him. He knows how to fuck his husband like this, knows what feels right and good, even in this body, and he's trying so desperately to hold himself together because if he comes again before Joel is finished, Spencer isn't sure that he'll be able to stay upright long enough to give his husband relief. The sound of skin against skin comes to a stop as he slams himself down onto Joel's cock, crying out at how unbelievably deep he feels like he's taking his husband, and he stays in place for a moment before circling his hips without lifting himself. He rocks over his husband, letting their eyes connect as he slows his touch to his clit and leans forward to close the gap between them, clasping his hand over the one Joel has on his breast. "Love you," he murmurs, brushing his lips over Joel's and shutting his eyes tight at the shudder that courses through him.

"I want to feel you come inside me," Spencer says, tightening his muscles and rolling his hips again before letting out another gasp at the impact. He does it again, again and again, and he knows he's done all that he can to delay his second orgasm. "God, you're so incredible, baby, so beautiful and perfect, you're everything."

[just_another]

It's impossible to hold on when Spencer is riding him like this, when he's touching himself, when he can hear the sounds their bodies are making as they come together and the sounds that spill out of Spencer's mouth. Joel wants to hold on longer, he wants to feel Spencer coming around his cock, but he can't. He just can't. Instead of answering, all he manages is a strangled moan, his heels digging into the mattress as his hips lift and he buries himself in Spencer. Both his hands are on his hips now and he's worried somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he's worried that he's holding onto him too tightly, that he's going to leave marks on that gorgeous skin, but he can't get his hands to relax, not when he's coming inside his husband in a completely different way than he ever thought he'd be able to. Sex with Spencer is always incredible, they always connect in a way Joel's never had with anyone, he isn't surprised that it's just as incredible like this, but he almost can't wrap his head around what's happening. This shouldn't be possible. Spencer is his husband and this shouldn't be possible and yet somehow it is. Somehow his husband is in a woman's body and Joel is thrusting into him like this and he'd never imagined such a thing could happen.

It's overwhelming. It's something beyond overwhelming and Joel doesn't think he'll ever be able put into words what he's feeling right now, but that doesn't surprise him either. When it comes to Spencer, he's always had trouble speaking. Communicating has always felt far more difficult in some ways when his husband is involved and yet entirely easy in other ways. There's never been another person who's both been able to render him utterly speechless and who still understands him better than anyone else. He doesn't think he'll need to explain what this is like because Spencer will know. All he'll have to do is look at Joel and he'll know, he'll be feeling the same things, he'll be experiencing this just like Joel is -- although not exactly like Joel is -- and for that he's endlessly grateful. Words have never been his strong point and he's so lucky that he's found someone like Spencer, someone who understands him anyway.

His lips part and he groans, his back arching as he comes inside Spencer, and he tries to tell himself to relax his grip on Spencer's hips again, but he can't. His fingers dig into him tightly and he knows he'll feel guilty later if there are marks left behind, but he feels like he'll be set adrift if he doesn't hold on. If he lets go, he'll just float away in this and never be able to find his way back and, as always, it's Spencer who anchors him here in the moment. It's Spencer who'll keep him ground, as always. Spencer who'll keep him from getting lost. But his muscles are shaking and his heart is pounding and he's managed to keep his eyes open so that he can look at Spencer when he comes again. He needs to see it. He needs to know that what he's doing feels good to Spencer in this body, too, and he finally manages to pry one of his hands from Spencer's hip, sliding it in, his thumb moving over his clit.

Maybe it feels better to Spencer to touch himself, maybe he knows exactly what he's doing and Joel doesn't, but he wants to be the one who does this for him. He wants to be the one to make him come again. He uses Spencer's fingers as a guide, he lets his husband show him what to do as he uses his thumb, pressing and circling, trying to find the right amount of pressure to make him feel good. He's panting heavily still, his skin damp with sweat, and he reaches up sliding his free hand between Spencer's breast, feeling the sweat on his skin as well and suddenly he can't stop thinking about getting Spencer into the shower like this, feeling his skin warm and smooth and wet. "Oh, god," he breathes. "Oh my god." And he wishes he could say more, but he knows Spencer will know.

[doublethepain]

Watching Joel's cock disappear into him then slip halfway back out is something Spencer is certain he'll never tire of and the addition of Joel's thumb pressing against his clit only makes him want to throw his head back and shout. Nothing makes it out of his mouth when his jaw drops open, though he keeps his head steady because he knows what Joel wants, knows that his husband wants to be able to see him when he comes, and Spencer understands that because to see the ecstasy playing across Joel's features just now had been beyond incredible. That he can have the same effect on his husband in this body means everything, feeling Joel spill into him and having Joel want to do all in his power to make sure Spencer comes again, it's overwhelming and with that, Spencer comes with a shudder and strangled gasp of Joel's name.

He lets himself fall forward until his palms hit the mattress, and he lets out a short laugh as he lowers himself the rest of the way to rest his head against Joel's shoulders, trying to catch his breath and let his pulse slow back into a more regular pace. Joel's still half-hard inside him and it feels different still having him there, different from the way it is when he's in a male body but not in a bad way. He quite enjoys it, really, which comes as no surprise, and he experimentally circles his hips again just to know what it's like after the fact. It only serves to send another jolt of pleasure through him, and he muffles his gasp against his husband's collarbone until the tremors running through him stop.

"That was-- It-- You're--" The words escape him through his panting, but Spencer knows Joel will understand. He finds it a bit humorous that they're both so capable with each other, such experts in knowing exactly how to make the other feel good when they're naked and together like this and as he always does after they make love, Spencer wishes they could just stay like this forever. It's a bit childish, he thinks, but Joel brings out that side of him, a sort of innocence and a view on the world that has become so optimistic because there's nothing that can ruin him too horribly as long as Joel is by his side. Some might think him blinded, to carry on through life with the belief that they can carry on through anything together, but Spencer simply knows better because they can. They'd kept on going through their lives on their own now for years, after all, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they'd be able to withstand anything else now that they're stronger with each other.

"I don't want to move," he groans, tilting his head back to press a kiss to Joel's jawline with a contended sigh. He's still reeling from his orgasm, still so sensitive from having Joel inside him, but he's beyond sated. He could fall asleep here and now, without question, but one thing in particular he'd heard in Joel's mind is what keeps him willing to keep his eyes open. "I did hear something about a shower though, didn't I?" Their bodies are coated with sweat, though not as sticky as usual, and the thought of letting Joel carry him to the shower like this is nothing short of appealing. "It's Monday, the store's closed, we don't have to be anywhere else, right? We can get in the shower and rinse off, come back to bed and just work from home. Or watch your dancing show, we still have it on the DVR."

[just_another]

All Joel can do is hum softly in response, unable to actually form words, which is often the state he's left in after he and Spencer have been intimate. His hands smooth down Spencer's back, still stunned by how much smaller he is. His fingers curl over the edges of his hips and for a moment he just holds him there, stifling a little moan when Spencer moves his hips again. He's still so sensitive, still half hard inside of Spencer, but he doesn't want to pull away or let him go. What he wants is to just lie here and regain some of his energy and then possibly do it all over again. The store is closed, Spencer is right about that, and while there's a part of Joel that wants to get directly to work on finding out what's going on and if there's a way for him to change Spencer back, he also has a feeling it's going to take him more than just a few hours of work. It might even take him more than a few days and he knows eventually Spencer is going to get tired of being in this body. There's work to be done, but Joel is far too exhausted to think of any of it right now, so everything Spencer is saying to him sounds absolutely wonderful.

"Mhm," he mumbles, pressing a kiss to Spencer's temple as he holds him tightly. He doesn't remember thinking about the shower, but at this point, he doesn't remember a lot that doesn't have to do with this moment right here. He's more than happy to do anything Spencer wants, though, and he thinks about how light he must be now, about how easy it would be for Joel to just sweep him up and off his feet and he sighs softly again, unable to think of anything else. He's so comfortable and content and sated right now and he doesn't want to move, but if Spencer wants to go to the shower, Joel will take him. As always, Joel will do absolutely anything for him.

"We can do anything you want," he murmurs, kissing Spencer again. "Anything. I'll take you to the shower if that's what you want." But he doesn't want to move yet. He thinks he might be able to fall asleep again, which is strange, given how scared he'd been earlier, how certain he'd been that someone had done something awful to Spencer. Everything seems to have slowed down now, taken in a sleepy sort of quality. It should be stranger than this, having a body in his body that isn't the one he's used to, but he knows it's Spencer, there's not a doubt in his mind, and that's all he really needs to know. Anything else in the world can change so long as that remains the same and it will. Even in a different body, this is still Spencer.

"But maybe in a few minutes," he adds a second later, giving a soft little laugh. "I think I need that long to regain feeling in my legs." He's probably exaggerating just a little bit, but right now he feels if he were to try to stand, if he were to try and take Spencer into his arms, he might just collapse again in a heap on the floor. He feels boneless and weary, worn out in the best possible way and it's nothing new, Spencer does this to him all the time, but more often than not, Spencer also allows him to just go back to sleep.

[doublethepain]

"A few minutes," Spencer agrees, giving a nearly imperceptible nod of his head as he sighs softly against Joel's chest. He can never quite predict it, when he'll have excess energy after sex or when he won't, but it seems that as quickly as he'd gained it here, he's losing it by the second. He tries to stifle his yawn but just barely manages it before he's blinking slowly, tracing shapes over the smooth skin of Joel's shoulder. He can feel Joel's cock softening inside of him, but he doesn't care, doesn't think he could move right now even if he wanted to, and it's not as if he's too heavy at the moment to stay this way. He's significantly lighter, in fact, and the warmth of Joel's arms wrapped around him is far too pleasant to be willing to even roll to his side onto the mattress.

Mornings like this are always his favorite because most of the time, starting the morning with Joel making love to him always leads to a significantly better day; but it also has to do with the contentment that spreads through him when they're finished, when they're allotted the time to just lie in each other's arms for as long as they want because they have nowhere to be. Some days, they have no choice but to be quick, maybe because they've waited to get out of bed until the last possible second before they need to get ready to go open the store or because they're so desperate for each other's touch that all they can afford is an unexpected romp in the back room of Crossroads. Still, no matter what, no matter how slowly Joel makes loves to him or how quickly Joel fucks him, Spencer's never once been left feeling cold.

Even if Joel can't take him into his arms for an extended period after sex, Spencer is at least warmed by the feeling that carries throughout the day, throughout their lives. Joel loves him, truly loves him, and it's not something Spencer has ever doubted. He's always been so used to being skeptical, suspicious, he's been used to asking questions and being curious almost to a fault, but he hasn't had to be or do any of these things with Joel. For each other, they're open books, and that isn't something he could ever find with anyone else. He may have friends who will readily divulge information about their private lives or how they're feeling or what they're thinking, but Spencer isn't that kind of person. When he's experiencing something on a deeply emotional level, he keeps it as private as he can unless he's with Joel and perhaps he should work on that, perhaps he should be more open with the other people who do care about him; but he isn't ready, not yet.

He's happy to let Joel see him for who he truly is because Spencer already knows his husband would never walk away from this. Joel had promised months and months ago that he'd stay, and he had. Then he'd vowed it in front of witnesses, and Spencer knows they don't need the wedding bands on their fingers to prove they love each other, but it means something to them specifically. It's why he has this tattoo on his hip, it's why he and Joel will always have what nobody else ever will, each other, but he cherishes that ring more than he'd ever be able to put into words. It's a symbol, and he's never once taken it off since Joel had slipped it onto his finger on their wedding day.

He frowns at it now, though, at the way it's dangerously close to slipping off his finger. "I'll need to get a chain for this," he says, thinking out loud more than anything else. "I don't want to go even a day without wearing it in one way or another." If Joel wants to fall back asleep for a bit, Spencer is happy to let him because in the evenings, it's usually the other way around. Spencer falls fast asleep with his head on his husband's chest while Joel reads or watches television or eventually escapes out from under Spencer to work on ordering inventory. He has no problem affording his husband the same luxury.

[just_another]

"Okay," Joel agrees, his arms still around Spencer and he's only vaguely aware of what is being said to him right now. Something about a chain, Spencer's ring, and Joel is nodding, thinking there's probably a chain in one of his drawers somewhere and if there's not he'll go out and buy one for Spencer right now, anything at all to make him happy. Although maybe he doesn't have to go right now, maybe he can lie here for just a little while longer and enjoy how it feels to have his arms wrapped around his husband's body, even though it isn't a body he's all that familiar with. The curves are still unfamiliar and the size of Spencer is all wrong, but he still feels right in ways he doesn't know if he could explain. A different body, a different shape, an entirely different feel and yet it's all the same. It shouldn't make sense, but it does, and Joel is perfectly content to accept it as it is. This is his husband he's holding in his arms, both unknown and easily recognizable at the same time. It doesn't make sense, but maybe it doesn't have to. Just as long as they're together and they're happy and comfortable, nothing needs to be explained. They don't owe anything to anyone else.

The store is closed, they can stay in bed all day if they want to, and for the moment that really does sound like the best option, especially when he feels so close to sleep again. Waking up like that, finding someone else in the bed with him other than what he'd expected had gotten his adrenaline pumping quickly, but between realizing what was really happening and everything he's just done with Spencer, he's crashing all over again. His muscles are aching and he's weary, but in the best possible way, and he smiles as he tips his head over and brush his lips against Spencer's temple. "I'll get you anything you want," he murmurs. "Anything at all."

And he might be awfully close to falling asleep again, but he means that. He'll get up now if he has to, but he doesn't think Spencer will make him do that. In a few moments he'll sweep his husband up and take him to the shower and then after that he'll make him breakfast and then go out and buy him a chain for his ring. And then he'll come home and put Spencer's ring on the chain, put it around his neck, and explode every last bit of this body with his mouth. It sounds like the perfect plan for this day and he knows he should be thinking about ways to undo this, ways to reverse what's happened and maybe he'll do that, too, but if Spencer doesn't spontaneously return to his regular body, then Joel can think of a few more ways they might want to enjoy this day before everything goes back to how it used to be.

"Shower, breakfast, chain, then I'm going to go down on you," he mumbles and he realizes he probably doesn't need to say it, not when Spencer can hear everything he's thinking, but saying it makes him grin, a sleepy sort of expression. "For hours. I just decided. I want to see how many times I can make you come." Because he can do that with this body. He loves Spencer's body so much, he loves every last little thing about it, but once they've come, they both need a period of recovery time, it's just part of being a man. But the body Spencer is in now doesn't need that, not in the same way, and Joel thinks it might be fun for him to discover just how far he can push it. They have the day off, after all, and he thinks they should really do their best to make use of it.