[closed for joel] backdated to march 9
Mar. 12th, 2016 11:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
doublethepainNo matter how much he may try to distract himself, no matter how happy he is with his family, this is always going to be a difficult day.
It's not for lack of trying, of course. Since the weekend, Spencer has noticed Joel doing his best to be casual about going out of his way to get to the mail first, to be the one to volunteer to take the dog out in the mornings while Spencer tends to the baby, to send Charlotte on strange missions to get them lunch or coffee that always take her longer than would be normal to do. He knows what his husband is doing, there's no question of it, and more than that, Spencer loves Joel so much for it.
Last year, Joel had managed to keep any letters filled with hate and accusations at the wayside, had kept them from slipping through the cracks. He's done an excellent job of it this year, too, though Spencer supposes he can't be certain any had been delivered at all. There hasn't been any graffiti on their garage doors, no shouting from across the street on their walks to the store, and in the absence of all that, Spencer is only made hyperaware of the approaching day.
He's thirty-one now, he thinks, staring up at the ceiling as he lies next to his husband in bed. It's been a few hours since he'd woken up with the sun, hardly a surprise, considering the nightmare that'd disturbed him in the middle of the night. Joel had been woken, too, much to Spencer's dismay, and it'd only been after getting up to make sure Dane was still safely asleep in his crib that he'd felt even close to being able to attempt getting back to sleep. He'd managed to succeed for a little while, which is remarkable in itself, but now, Spencer is realizing that he's going to have to actually face the day ahead.
Last year had been incredible, the bouncy castle a surprise that Spencer will cherish in his memory forever because it'd been the first time in the past few years that he'd been able to enjoy his birthday. He has no doubts that his husband has planned something just as wonderful this year, and Spencer shifts onto his side to drape an arm over Joel's waist and press a kiss to his shoulder. His heart is heavy, there's no escaping that, but at the same time, things are different now. Not only does he have his husband, he has his son, an entire family that's brought him so much more joy than he'd ever though he could have. So as difficult a day as this will be, Spencer still knows he'll get through it. With Joel and Dane at his side, he can get through anything.
It's not for lack of trying, of course. Since the weekend, Spencer has noticed Joel doing his best to be casual about going out of his way to get to the mail first, to be the one to volunteer to take the dog out in the mornings while Spencer tends to the baby, to send Charlotte on strange missions to get them lunch or coffee that always take her longer than would be normal to do. He knows what his husband is doing, there's no question of it, and more than that, Spencer loves Joel so much for it.
Last year, Joel had managed to keep any letters filled with hate and accusations at the wayside, had kept them from slipping through the cracks. He's done an excellent job of it this year, too, though Spencer supposes he can't be certain any had been delivered at all. There hasn't been any graffiti on their garage doors, no shouting from across the street on their walks to the store, and in the absence of all that, Spencer is only made hyperaware of the approaching day.
He's thirty-one now, he thinks, staring up at the ceiling as he lies next to his husband in bed. It's been a few hours since he'd woken up with the sun, hardly a surprise, considering the nightmare that'd disturbed him in the middle of the night. Joel had been woken, too, much to Spencer's dismay, and it'd only been after getting up to make sure Dane was still safely asleep in his crib that he'd felt even close to being able to attempt getting back to sleep. He'd managed to succeed for a little while, which is remarkable in itself, but now, Spencer is realizing that he's going to have to actually face the day ahead.
Last year had been incredible, the bouncy castle a surprise that Spencer will cherish in his memory forever because it'd been the first time in the past few years that he'd been able to enjoy his birthday. He has no doubts that his husband has planned something just as wonderful this year, and Spencer shifts onto his side to drape an arm over Joel's waist and press a kiss to his shoulder. His heart is heavy, there's no escaping that, but at the same time, things are different now. Not only does he have his husband, he has his son, an entire family that's brought him so much more joy than he'd ever though he could have. So as difficult a day as this will be, Spencer still knows he'll get through it. With Joel and Dane at his side, he can get through anything.
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Date: 2016-03-13 04:01 pm (UTC)Although he's still in bed, he's been awake for some time now, running over any last minute details and revisiting the schedule. There's no reason for it, he has the entire day planned out perfectly, and when Spencer drapes his arm over Joel's waist and kisses his shoulder, he smiles and presses back against him in the bed. For a moment he's tempted to forgo the entire schedule and just stay here in bed with his husband for as long as they can manage it, but that thought only lasts the briefest of moments when he remembers exactly what this day is going to bring them. He's taken care not to plan too much, just in case all Spencer wants is the quiet, but he's already certain his husband is going to like what they're going to be doing. He's so certain that he thinks he might not even tell Spencer, just let him figure it out as they drive back to Wilton and see the town for the first time since they were married in it.
"Good morning," he murmurs, reaching up to squeeze Spencer's arm tighter around him. "Happy Birthday."
It's a hard day. It's probably always going to be a hard day, but Joel can shoulder that with ease. He can do this every year, try to find some way to make it a little easier, always incorporating their family and their friends if it becomes something they need to do. For now it's just the three of them, he'd asked Charlotte to let them be for the day besides swinging by before they left just to make sure nothing has been left on the front porch or painted on their garage. Since she hasn't texted him, he can only assume they're in the clear, which does wonders toward lightening Joel's heart.
"I made plans," he admits, turning in the circle of Spencer's arms so he can face him. "I don't want to tell you what we're going to be doing yet, but I think you'll like it. All I'm going to do now is get up and shower. Can you get Dane dressed and then we'll switch off and you can get ready? You don't have to wear anything special, but you're going to want to pack an overnight bag for yourself and for the baby."
And while Spencer is getting ready, Joel is going to make them breakfast sandwiches and put fresh brewed coffee in their travel mugs, as well as getting Dane's bottle ready for him. He's already put aside enough food for Dane for the entire trip, little containers of cereal and mashed vegetables and teething cookies. Everything he seems to like that Joel knows will make a horrible mess wherever they are, but he doesn't care. They deserve something like this. Dane's playpen and portable mattress are already in the trunk of the car along with blankets so they can put him down wherever they end up for the night, although Joel has his hopes pinned in the same hotel they'd stayed at the night of their wedding.
"We have time to stop by the cemetery if you want to," he adds, then brushes a kiss over Spence's cheek. "But only if you want to."
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Date: 2016-03-14 08:09 am (UTC)Already, just by speaking a few sentences, Joel has lifted his spirits, though he knows he still needs to address the subject of the cemetery. Flicking his tongue over his lips, he clears his throat, pressing a kiss to Joel's shoulder to buy himself time he doesn't need because he knows Joel wouldn't push him on this. Whatever he decision, Joel will support him. "I'll think on it while we get ready," he says softly, bringing his hand to Joel's chest to gently thread his fingers through the hair there. "I mean, I've been thinking about it for days, I keep going back and forth on what I want to do, but I-- I'll just think on it. I promise I'll have a decision for you by the time we have to leave."
They hadn't gone last year on this day, Spencer had been far too enamored with the bouncy castle and the subsequent afternoon spent making love in it to find the energy to go by the time evening had rolled around. Instead, they'd gone together the day after, carrying flowers for each grave and setting them down while Spencer had carried out his usual habit of telling his dead brother and mother all about what'd happened in their lives since they'd last visited during Christmas. Joel had waited so patiently, had even added in his own bits of story to what Spencer was telling, and they'd laughed together over the happier memories until he'd started crying. It'd come on suddenly, as it so often does when he thinks of his family, but Joel had only wrapped his arms around him and waited until Spencer had been ready to leave.
He doesn't think he wants to start the morning that way, especially not with Dane there, so Spencer supposes the decision has already made itself but even so, he gives his husband a longer, lingering kiss to his lips before pulling away with a groan to go take care of the baby. "He's having another quiet morning," Spencer comments, tugging on his sweatpants and smiling over his shoulder at his husband. "It's like he knows it's his daddy's birthday, this must be his gift to me." Pausing, he tilts his head fondly at Joel. "I don't even get a hint about where we're going? Not even a little one, for the husband you love so much?"
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Date: 2016-03-15 03:03 pm (UTC)But eventually Dane sees him over Spencer's shoulders and lets out a quiet little shriek, his fist waving in Joel's general direction. He grins and heads into the room, reaching to take Dane from Spencer's arms. Their son is in a good mood today, which Joel is grateful for, since he's about to spend a little bit of time in the car and probably what amounts to a relatively boring day for him, even though he knows Spencer will appreciate it. Dane's too young to care about their memories, though, and Joel just hopes he's packed enough toys to keep their son entertained while they're reminiscing about their wedding day and the kind people who had helped them.
"Gimme that," he says, swinging Dane into his arms, and their son shrieks again, clearly delighted as Joel tucks him under his arm like a football. His legs kick, but he's grinning happily as Joel holds onto him and backs out of the room. "Come on down once you're packed and ready, and I'll have a birthday breakfast sandwich waiting for you."
The thought of it makes Joel's stomach growl and he giving Spencer another smile before disappearing from the room. Maybe heading to Wilton for the day and night isn't quite the whirlwind trip other people might be expecting at the end of all this mystery, but Joel is enjoying playing it up, and he knows Spencer will find the trip meaningful in exactly the right way. They have a lot of the same thoughts about things like this, they have the same sort of interests and when it comes to sentimentality, though other people might not expect it of them, they do seem to focus on very similar things.
So Joel heads for the kitchen with his bag and their son, then tucks Dane into his high chair so he can feed him breakfast. It doesn't take long for him to prepare the sandwiches and the coffee and once it's all ready, he steps back and surveys his work, satisfied with what he's seeing. It's simple, but delicious and portable, which is really the most important thing given the road trip they have ahead of them.
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Date: 2016-03-17 07:57 am (UTC)"Do you know how much I love you?" Spencer asks, grinning as Dane wriggles in his arms and drops his head against his shoulder. For a moment, they just stand there like that, Dane making the occasional cooing sound but managing to stay still, even though Spencer knows he should get back to work on packing the bag. It's just that this morning, in particular, he's especially sensitive to the fact that he isn't waking up to an empty household.
The first year after his family's death, Spencer had spent almost the entire morning in bed, afraid of what he might find if he were to get up and start the day. As it'd turned out, he'd found a great deal of hate mail and the kind of vandalism Joel might actually break bones over if it were ever to happen again. The year after that hadn't been much better, though there hadn't been as much mail, but last year, it'd stopped entirely. Rather, Joel had managed to intercept any letters that Spencer might have otherwise seen. He wonders whether Joel had been forced to do much weeding through the mail this time around, or whether the more aggressive people in this town have decided it's not worth harassing him not that he's married with a baby.
In the end, what matters is that it's stopped. Maybe he'll never be able to think of his birthday without thinking about finding his mother's body in the backyard, but Spencer thinks that eventually, it won't be the very first thing he thinks of when he wakes up. Eventually, he'll be able to get a full night's sleep the night before because he'll have finally stopped worrying that someone might hurt his husband and son.
Eventually.
By the time Joel takes Dane downstairs, Spencer is already in the shower, eager to get the day going because his curiosity to find out where his husband is taking him is growing by the minute. He's quick to rinse and gather his toothbrush and paste, grabbing a few other things from behind the medicine cabinet before heading into the bedroom to get dressed. In all of fifteen minutes, he's practically skipping down the stairs, his bag over one shoulder and Dane's over the other, grinning at the spread of sandwiches and coffee that Joel's prepared for their car ride.
"Have I told you recently that you spoil me way too much?" he asks, leaning in to press a kiss to Joel's lips and another to the top of Dane's head. "Let me follow that up with a plea to never stop." Adjusting the straps on his shoulders, he hesitates, glancing from Joel and the baby to their breakfast and back. "I, uh-- I thought maybe it'd be best if we saved the cemetery for another day. Probably best to get on the road while Dane's not fussy."
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Date: 2016-03-17 06:47 pm (UTC)Before he gets their breakfasts finished, he unhooks Dane from his high chair and transfers him to Spencer's arms, giving his husband a grin. "You take him out to the car, I'll get our bags and then come back for the food. Then we'll be on our way."
He had planned this whole thing under the assumption Spencer would agree to the trip and it's a good thing he has. On top of there being the hotel room already reserved under his name, Joel had actually called the church where they'd gotten married and spoken to Matthew to make sure he was still working there. He'd been pleased to hear from Joel, even more pleased to hear they'd welcomed a baby into their family and when he had mentioned coming up for a night, Matthew had insisted on arranging something for them for lunch. Joel had reminded him that they like things small, and Matthew had promised it would just be a pleasant little lunch at one of the small restaurants downtown. The three of them, their baby, and Ben and Irene, the witnesses who had signed their marriage license. Joel had hardly been able to decline something like that, so he had agreed, taken directions to the restaurant, and he's already looking forward to seeing his husband's face when he finds who's there in Wilton to greet them.
He grabs their bags after pressing one final kiss to Spencer's mouth, taking care with his own, Spencer's gift tucked into the bottom of the bag. He'd stolen Spencer's wedding band earlier in the week, claimed it had fallen at the store and was stuck in the grate under the register at the store and that he had to hire someone to get it out, but he'd secretly taken both bands to someone to engrave the inside with the word real. It doesn't quite match the tattoo, but it's close enough, and Joel likes that they'll carry those words with them. He'd gotten his own done as well and when he's at the trunk of the car, he transfers the ring box to his pocket so he can give it to Spencer while they're on their way. So he has it once they're sitting down for lunch.
Once the bags are away, Dane's snacks readily available and within easy reach for them to grab if he gets fussy during the drive, Joel jogs back to the house to collect their breakfast, then locks the door and returns to the car. He puts the coffee mugs in the cup holders, then slides in behind the wheel and hands Spencer his sandwich. "Unless you want your present first," he teases. "One of them anyway. I can arrange for that to happen."
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Date: 2016-03-21 08:50 am (UTC)"I will take that present, though," he continues, "I think you're well aware that I was never going to say no."
He has absolutely no idea what Joel might have for him, though there's a small, underlying hope that maybe his husband had managed to get his wedding band out of the grate beneath the register, though how it'd gotten there in the first place, Spencer hasn't the slightest idea. All week, he's been rubbing his thumb over smooth skin where there's usually metal, stealing envious looks at Joel's ring because he doesn't like being without his own. The only other time he's ever had it off is while he'd been held captive by Roman, though that's nothing like this instance, so he doesn't allow himself to dwell on that today. Joel has already worked so hard, making sure to keep Spencer busy, to keep him active with other things so the memories that come with this day don't overtake him. Spencer understands that, appreciates it, but he also recognizes just how much he absolutely needs it.
That's part of why he wants to stay away from the cemetery today. Visiting his mother and brother's graves is always hard, though he often still finds comfort in it, and Spencer wants to be able to relish all the good he can while his husband makes so much of an effort. Joel never pretends to understand what it's like, losing his family, though he does know loss, and Spencer had been able to see from the start the different between pity and the sympathy his husband had shown him, even before they'd started dating. They've both been through difficult times in their lives, there's no need for comparison because ultimately, what matters is that they'd saved each other from themselves. They'd saved each other from a life of loneliness, and Spencer knows he'd be nothing close to the man he is today without Joel being in his life.
Smiling warmly, he reaches out with his free hand to lightly brush his knuckles over freshly trimmed beard, then leans in to press a kiss against Joel's cheek. "You're sure my gift isn't just the pleasure of your and Dane's company on the way to wherever it is we're going?" he asks, the corners of his lips twitching. "I'd be okay with that."
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Date: 2016-03-22 03:14 pm (UTC)He knows he should have waited a little while longer, especially with where they're going, but he knows as soon as they get on the road and start seeing signs for Wilton, which won't take long at all, Spencer is going to guess, and Joel wanted him to have his ring back before then. He doesn't want Spencer to put it on just yet, but he'll wait to explain that bit of the day until after his husband has opened up the box and discovered what's inside.
They don't have to go into the church to make it happen, they don't have to do more than pull into the parking lot and he knows that will be enough to make it special, but he wants them to exchange their rings all over again where they got married in the first place. There doesn't have to be any special sort of ceremony and they really can just stay in their car while they do it, but Joel has tried to enhance their rings, make them just a little more special than they were before, and he thinks being able to put them back on each other in the parking lot of the same church where they got married will help nudge it in the direction of special just the slightest bit more.
"Go ahead and open it," he says, passing the box to Spencer. It's a little bit bigger than the average ring box simply so it could fit both theirs inside, but he'd done nothing more than slip a ribbon around it, making it easy for Spencer to open no matter where Joel finally decided to give it to him. "It isn't the only gift, but... well, you're going to figure out where we're going soon enough and I wanted you to have these before you realized what's going on."
He's heading out of Siren Cove now, toward the highway that will take them further out of town and in the direction of Wilton. There are no signs for the little town just yet, but Joel slows at a yield and them pulls onto the highway after shoulder checking, then glances at Spencer. He needs to watch the road, but he also wants to watch his husband when he sees the rings, distracted by the entire scenario to the point where he's ignoring his own breakfast entirely.
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Date: 2016-03-27 10:00 am (UTC)Looking down at what's inside, though, he pauses, brow furrowing at the sight of the two rings next to each other. Tilting his head, he plucks his own, the one that's slightly smaller, from its resting places and turns it over in his hand, inspecting it closely until his eye catches something on the inside of the band. For a long moment, he goes silent, having read the inscription that's engraved there over and over again, slowly but surely processing it and now blinking back hot tears that threaten to spill down his cheeks. "Joel," he murmurs, returning the ring to the box to check his husband's ring and sure enough, that word, the one that means so much more to them than anyone could truly know--Real--is there, too, making the rings a perfect match.
He doesn't want to let the tears fall, the change in demeanor, even if it's due to being so happy he could burst, might just end up serving to make Dane fussy, and Spencer doesn't want the baby to be disturbed when all he wants to do is share his gratitude with his husband. "Thank you," he says, and the words come out nearly as a whisper. Reaching out to brush his fingers over the curls at the nape of Joel's neck, Spencer lets out a soft sigh, looking back down at the rings with a an ever-widening smile. "This is perfect, I don't even know what else to say."
There's nothing he really can say, in all honesty, Spencer will have to wait until the car is stopped to show Joel his true appreciation; but he does lean over to press a quick kiss to his husband's cheek, letting his forehead briefly drop onto Joel's shoulder as he lets out a short laugh. "Nobody could make this day a good one but you," he says sincerely, and he's not trying to bring gravity to the moment, not trying to bring it the happy mood down by bringing up the other significance of his birthday. It's merely the truth, one he needs Joel to understand.
Nobody else in this world would have been capable of making Spencer genuinely happy on a date that'd brought him so much tragedy, that'd effectively ruined him until this man had walked into his life. It's something he's said before, something he'll never stop saying--Spencer hadn't truly started living until the moment he'd met Joel, the very same moment he'd fallen in love.
Pulling back now and returning his eyes to the rings, reveling in seeing them side-to-side in their new condition, Spencer then lets out a thoughtful hum. "You said I'm going to figure out where we're going," he says, glancing out the window. "Now that I'm do distracted by the rings, I'm not sure I'll be so quick to connect the dots."
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Date: 2016-03-29 03:13 pm (UTC)"Don't put it back on yet, though," he cautions, flashing a grin as he looks over at Spencer. This is his entire life, these people in the car with him. Dane is in the back seat chewing on one of his toys, and when Joel glances at him in the rear view mirror, he laughs, mostly at himself, because even the sight of his son with drool dripping down his fist is one of the best things Joel has ever seen. Even though he's been around for less than a year, it feels to Joel as if he's always been there, always part of their lives, just waiting to join them when the time was finally right. And now here he is, completing one part of their lives Joel had never even known he needed to have filled until he had met Spencer.
"You have to wait to put it back on until we get where we're going and you'll see why once we're there." Even though Spencer says he's not going to make the connection that easily, Joel knows he will. Once they're a little closer, once the scenery becomes more familiar and especially once the signs start popping up that tell them where they're going, he'll work it all out. The memories they share of Wilton are some of their best, some of the most meaningful and significant ones they have together, and going back there is going to be one big trip down memory lane, even though they hadn't gotten married all that long ago. Already Joel is thinking about what it might be like to do this every year, to make sure they find at least one weekend sometime in the spring or summer to get to Wilton and spend some time there basking in their memories of the town.
"In the meantime, eat your breakfast," Joel continues, reaching over to lay his hand on Spencer's knee, squeezing lightly. "You know it's the most important meal of the day and if we're going to make the most of this birthday, I want to make sure you're well fed and well hydrated." He's only partly teasing, too, because he knows once Dane falls asleep for the night, they're going to make the most of their time together and Joel wants to make it as memorable a birthday as the last one. Maybe there's no bouncy castle for them to enjoy intimately the way they had last year, but he's sure they can find all sorts of ways to make new memories.
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Date: 2016-04-05 06:12 am (UTC)Figuring out their destination actually takes much longer than it should have, if only because there are so many things distracting him--from the delicious sandwich he'd polished off within minutes to the rings he keeps sighing over to their baby in the backseat--that Spencer doesn't spend much time looking out the window. When he finally does think to do that, though, when he tears his gaze away from his husband long enough to peer out in time to catch an exit sign as they pass it, Spencer is fairly certain his heart has actually made the leap into his throat.
"Wilton," he murmurs, nearly breathless, and he looks back at Joel with wide eyes. "You're taking me to Wilton?" It's so beyond thoughtful, it's such an immensely sweet gift that will only ever matter to the two of them, and Spencer can't quite begin to truly wrap his mind around just how much more excited he is yet because the flood of emotions that are coming back to him now are almost too much to handle. Aside from the birth of their son, no one moment in his life has ever stood out more than when he and Joel had gotten married. He remembers every moment of that day with perfect clarity, from the brief fight--if they can even call it that--they'd had to deciding right then and there that they should just do it. Just go get married, without wasting any time preparing for a party they wouldn't have even wanted.
Spencer knows his in-laws had been a bit hurt about not having been informed or invited at the time, but he thinks they'd made the right choice. When they'd met, they'd both already grown accustomed to the idea that they would live out their lives alone, that they'd never have anyone to share their beds or their hearts with, and neither of them had been overly upset about that. It'd been a simple fact. Falling in love had been unexpected, and Spencer knows some people might think they'd taken things very fast in their relationship, but every step had been right for them. They've never worried about anyone else when it comes to their love, this connection they'll always share, and that's what the wedding had been about--celebrating what they have, something that will always just be for the two of them.
"I can't believe you planned all this," he says, letting out a short laugh. "Are we going back to the church? And the hotel? I'm getting goosebumps, god. If I start to get giddy, you'll only have yourself to blame."
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Date: 2016-04-06 02:49 pm (UTC)"The church first. I thought we might be able to duck inside with Dane for a bit, show him where we got married and then exchange our rings back again." Quietly, of course, because everything they do tends to be on the quiet side, which is what they truly prefer. Even if there are others in the church already, which there very well may be in the middle of a day like today, Joel doesn't think anyone will pay much attention to the two men who mind their own business. He isn't sure if Matthew is going to be there or if they won't see him until later, at their planned lunch.
"I have the same hotel room booked, which is why I made sure to pack Dane's playpen in the trunk. He'll be able to sleep there tonight or we can just take him into the bed with us." He's big enough now that Joel doesn't worry about rolling over and squishing him in the night, a fear that had kept Joel awake many nights, even on the ones when Dane hadn't been so fussy he'd needed to be taken into bed with them. Even when their son had been in his crib, there had been times when Joel would wake up in a panic, convinced he had rolled over and crushed their tiny child. It doesn't plague him so extensively any longer and now he finds himself looking forward to those evenings he can fall asleep with Dane cradled warm against him.
"We also have some lunch plans that have been made," he admits, grinning shyly over at Spencer. "I spoke to Matthew on the phone not long ago and he insisted we have lunch with him and Ben and Irene. I told him not to make too big a deal about it, but he said they would want to see us and to be honest, I would really like to see them again, too." They had ended up being such a huge part of one of the most important days in their relationship and he's rather excited to see them again, to introduce them to Dane. Joel has never thought of himself as being particularly easy to get to know, he's far from an open book, choosing to keep most things to himself, but they'd had to share the day simply by nature of the law, and he's glad it had had been that way. If it wasn't going to be something they shared with his family, he's pleased there are others who were there with them.
"I didn't think you'd mind," he says. "It's just lunch and I think they'd really like to meet Dane."
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Date: 2016-04-18 08:38 am (UTC)Joel is an absurdly attractive man, there's never been a time that people haven't done double-takes while they'd walked hand-in-hand down the street, it's not as if he would have had difficulty finding someone who'd want to go out with him; but even as he thinks that, Spencer knows it wouldn't have happened. It's not because of Joel's reputation as the grumpy, reclusive bookshop owner, not even because of the way Joel hadn't let most people get too close to him; it's because they're meant to be together, he's believed that for a long time now. They'd met at exactly the right time, both of them in a position in their lives that'd allowed them to give in to their feelings for each other, feelings neither of them had experienced for anyone in a long time. Or ever, in Spencer's case.
The ring that's going to go back on his finger today is just one symbol of the unbreakable connection between them, the column of energy that only Joel can see another. Spencer wonders how long that column had really been there, whether it's been there all along, just waiting to reveal itself, or whether it'd only been activated when they'd finally crossed paths. Either way, he knows with absolute certainty that the column will never dim, that they'll always find their way back to each other, no matter what. Mark, the island, the demon, Roman, they'd all served as obstacles, but he and Joel had overcome every single one. Their love, the love they have now for their son, they're stronger than anything Spencer has ever known, and he feels it so deeply within him. Every time he thinks he couldn't possibly love his husband and child any more than he already does, his heart seems to expand, as it's doing right now.
"I don't mind," Spencer finally manages to say, which is an enormous understatement. "I-- I don't even know what to say, it's overwhelming. In a good way, of course, it's just that I had no idea this is what we'd be doing today, and I'm trying to wrap my head around the reminder that I really do have the most incredible husband in the world." Before Joel had come along, Spencer had hardly been an enviable figure in Siren Cove; now, though, it occurs to him that he has so much of what so many people want. A loving husband, a passionate marriage, a beautiful little boy, a home and business they call their own, it's really amazing to think of how far they've both come within just a couple years.
"Said husband is going to find out just how grateful I am when we get to that hotel, for the record," Spencer continues, maintaining an innocent expression until the corners of his lips turn up into a coy smile. "Had to get that out before we met up with the priest who married us."
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Date: 2016-04-21 06:57 pm (UTC)"You don't think Matthew knows exactly what we'll be doing when we check into that hotel room tonight?" he asks with a teasing grin, flipping on his signal and turning the car down the long, idyllic street that will take them to the church at the end. As he expected there are more people out on the sidewalks today, more people moving around, enjoying the crisp, early spring air, but the only people Joel has eyes for are in this car with him. That's how he's always going to feel and perhaps it leaves him a little bit one-tracked, maybe others might claim he needs to branch out a little more, but he doesn't think so. This is where his love is, this is where his entire life is.
He turns the car into the church parking lot and he can tell a few people are looking in their direction, curious as to who the strangers are, but for the most part they're ignored, which is how Joel prefers it. He pulls into a space at the furthest end of the lot, then puts the car in park and turns it off before he takes off his seat belt and turns to look back at Dane. With the car stopped their son is opening his eyes again and he waves his hands at Joel, gurgling at him in a way Joel has long since determined means he's hungry. This is strange sometimes, too, but he loves it, he loves that he's learned what Dane's sounds mean, what his cries tell them he wants, but also what his laughter and his smiles and the little sounds he makes that are almost words all mean, too. For awhile he had worried he would fail their son somehow, but now he feels better about what they're doing with each and every passing day.
"You get him out of his seat and I'll get one of the bottles from the bag in the back," he says. "I think he needs to eat before we head inside. I don't want him to deciding to shriek down the walls once we're inside a church, of all places." Joel isn't a religious man, he doesn't believe in god, doesn't find religion particularly compelling beyond being a work of fiction, but he's respectful of others and their beliefs all the same. Hauling a screaming baby into the church when there may be others using it is definitely not how he wants to begin their day in this town that had been so good to them on the day they'd gotten married.
Joel gets out of the car and goes to the trunk, digging around in Dane's diaper bag until he finds one of the bottles. It's cool, but he knows by now that Dane doesn't mind that and he heads around to the side of the car where Spencer is unstrapping their son from his seat, and for a moment Joel just watches. He's the luckiest man in the world, there's nothing that can convince him otherwise, not when he's so happy and so in love with such a wonderful person.